Ok, i wish i had the words to adequately describe this situation w/o seeming like a complete jerk. Id like to start by saying im a 24 year old WOMEN and not some immature little girl.
When i was 19 i dated a guy.. we went through alot.. and he was kinda.. the guy i never got over. Ive always thought about him. We talk occasionally... he still crosses my mind.. but.. its not like i think well end up together now.
Well, a year ago i meet my current boyfriend and man.. i could not be happier. Everyday i wake up wondering if this is a dream b/c im so incredibly happy and cant wait to spend our life together.
But... all that aside... i do still think of this ex. For example.. we talked online tonight.. and i told him we should meet up for lunch sometime. I would NEVER cheat on my current with him.. but its like.. i cant fully let him go.
Has anyone experienced this? I dont know how to ever get COMPLETELY over him... will he always have a place in my heart? advice?
2007-08-16 16:51:13 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's all about closer without that how can you get him completely out of your head,you can't. When you have nothing but pleasant memories about someone you don't want to forget and your mind won't let you. What makes you turn on someone, they need to do something to offend you and until they do you are going to think highly of them. I think you going to lunch with him is a very good thing only because then and only then can you look at him and see he isn't this perfect person you make him out to be. For instance If he makes a pass at you you should look at that as him being very respectful to you and your boyfriend.You need to see him for what he is and that is just a guy you once had feelings for and now it's over and you need to say that to him for it to process in your head.
2007-08-16 17:20:45 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This, I think, varies on each persons personality. I'm the type that never has gotten over any of my ex's with few exceptions. Like you, I would never cheat. The thing you need to do is to let your current know that there are still feelings there, but that he is your man now and you will never cheat. Men are not all stupid, and if he ever sees the two of you together he'll be able to tell that there are still feelings there. If you don't talk about it, it will seem like you're hiding it from him, and then there's going to be an issue. He may have a hard time with it, but if he trusts you, all should be ok.
2007-08-16 23:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by bigb_nc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. Im 24 as well. And I was absolutely in the sweetest love with my boyfriend from the time I was 15 til I was 21. We were just a match made in heaven, but I was studying abroad, and he was graduating from school. Years have passed now since we broke up, but we always try to get together even though we've moved on and have other significant others. We talk online occassionallly as well, though innocently. I think for my case, its impossible to forget because the love that we had for one another was honestly the most memorable feeling ive ever experienced. I dont know if you ever really "get over" your first true love, but for me, Im in the same boat as you. It seems he will forever be in the back of my mind.
2007-08-16 23:57:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you I am also 24 years old and I dated a guy from middle school until my senior year. We talk every now and then but I still think of him all the time. I will always have a past with him that stays in my heart. I know that we will never be together but I think that it won't hurt to stay friends with him. I think that you need to tell the person you are with about him and tell him you and your x are really good friends. But then again maybe I am not the best person to give you advice about this situatio. Best of luck
2007-08-16 23:59:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with my ex-bf for 6 1/2-7yrs (we ended it when i was 21) but he was my "first love",until this day i still think about him,and of couse he'll always have a place in my heart,but u have to think why you two broke up-was it good/bad reasons? Its hard to say,but the past is the past...the more distance the better. If your with your new bf then you shouldn't hurt your new guy. Its hard to not get over your ex (trust me) but you have too move on. OR--if the feelings are the same and he wants you back then maybe its meant to be..but make sure you have some good reasons to go back to him.I don't know if u two broke up for bad reasons-but think about if you really want to be back with him.Good luck!
2007-08-17 00:06:34 · answer #5 · answered by J-LO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex played a big part in your life, a serious relationship. You can't just stop loving someone, but they may not be meant to be your life partner. If your current partner is not the jealous type, why not introduce them, and have your ex as a friend, maybe making a friendship with your current partner. So long as you don't play on your feelings (which the love is probably different by now), then there is nothing wrong with remaining friends. I am very close to my ex, I can confide in him and vice versa, and I know in my heart that I don't have any sexual feelings to him anymore, but I still love him...
Good luck, don't try to get over him, just cherish the friendship that you still have with him :)
2007-08-17 00:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by Fi Massage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation. It's called an Old Flame. No, it never goes away. So temper it with distance and time. Don't go see him for lunch, or you will screw up. Even if you think you won't. He'll always have a corner of your heart from the way you wrote about him. Keep that part, but stay away from him if you love your new man.
2007-08-16 23:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by nitr0bike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gosh. I am having the same problem right now. But I am MARRIED. The best advice I can give you is to make sure you resolve those feelings BEFORE you ever commit to another man because if you don't, then it will affect your current relationship.
Either you need to talk to your ex and tell him that you need to get over him or you let the current guy go until you feel you are over your ex.
2007-08-17 00:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by moon&stars 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a college crush myself. Even after starting to date other girls, I found a part of my heart was still with her. However, over time (and non-communication), it does fade and you'll regain that piece back. Good luck.
2007-08-16 23:55:55 · answer #9 · answered by Sidewinder 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you could not be happier, but you are still talking to this ex and want to go out and have lunch with him? I don't think that you'd be doing that if you were really so happy. Just my opinion.
2007-08-16 23:58:18 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋