This guy, J, and I have been together since I started college. He has a daughter but we have no children together. We have had turmoil on his and my behalf, but we are trying to work through it. The trust is gone!!! I have a BS in Civil Engineering and he is an entrepreneur. We live well! But, I find myself fantasizing about other men Sexually... I love him, but I am not in love with him. Even with all of the turmoil we have been through I am willing to go forth and marry him like yesterday. He is not. He wants to wait!! Because he takes care of home I don’t want to leave. I have been threatening by saying "I'm leaving!" The first few times he really changed, but now all he says is that "I can't make you wait." Basically, I am confused....
2007-08-16 15:12:40 · 7 answers · asked by Kristy E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its possible that you two have grown apart which isnt uncommon. If you want different things then why waste the rest of your life sailing in a ship thats going in the wrong direction. I am not even taking into account the fact that you are fantasizing about other men because women do that all the time, I am taking into account the fact that you arent in love with him.
You are a successful woman and with that comes so many opportunities and so many adventures. You are young and have no children. You deserve to meet a man that desires you as much as you do him.
As women sometimes we get comfortable in our situations and though we want change we are afraid of what else lies out there. In the end we just hurt ourselves because we afraid to really live. I think your relationship has ran its course and maybe you need a trial separation to see what works from you. So he pays the bills.... you can pay them by yourself, and drama free.
2007-08-16 15:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Iamscaredformylife 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it would seem that you have all ready, partially, made up your mind, not that I blame you !! If the trust " is gone" then, it would be quite difficult to regain trust. He's calling your bluff, " I'm leaving". Ultimatums, seldom work!! He's telling you (based on the info that you have provided) that "go ahead,do what you're going to do"!! Objectively, this is a very poor sign !! This moment has probably been in the " brewing stages" for awhile. But, the both of you have a deaf ear !! If you wish to revive this relationship, then you need counseling!! That's the bottom line, otherwise it's over and move on!!! You're both are confused and it takes two to tango !!! Good Luck to the both of you !!
2007-08-16 22:34:04 · answer #2 · answered by Ruth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 years together, there is no trust, he's still not ready to marry, you love him but you're not really in love with him, and you fantasize about other men.. I understand it's hard to just leave because you're so used to eachother especially living with one another but you need to get out of this relationship before you get married and bring kids into this. You're so afraid of change you'd just get married to this guy even though you know you won't be happy. If you don't face the music and end this, you're going to be miserable and so will he. There's someone else for you.
2007-08-16 22:38:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to marry and you do, what keeps you together? Is it worth it to you to continue to cohabitate with a possibility you may never marry? You need to figure out what you really want.
2007-08-16 22:27:18 · answer #4 · answered by Simmi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about how you feel? I think you should talk to him about the way you feel and you can work it out together.
2007-08-16 22:21:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why would you marry him if you are not IN love with him like you said?
2007-08-16 22:20:11 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him... move on... get a life
2007-08-16 22:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Rockstar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋