Suicide:selfish, or selfless?

Question

I was talking to my housemate the other day, and i was saying i believe suicide is the most selfish thing a person could do because of the mess and the questions it leaves. he said it was a noble act, and murder is the most selfish act.

discuss?

Answer 1

Suicide harms the friends and family of the suicide victim in many ways. The majority of suicide attempts are not intended to end in death but to get attention, usually greatly needed attention. Even in a failed attempt, friends and family are burdened with grief, with terror with medical bills and other horrific traumas. Many foolish suicide attempts are specifically for the purpose of causing that grief and worry and suffering of others. Suicide attempts that end in death leave friends and families devastated to think that the victim cared so little for them that they did not seek them out for support.

Suicide is one of the most viciously selfish acts a person can commit and I have absolutely no compassion for those who fall so low as to think only about themselves in such a way as to bring so much misery to others. Suicide is a coward's last obscene gesture to the people who loved him or her the most. And, they wonder why their lives are so miserable to begin with. Think about it. People who harm themselves or take the coward's way out are absolutely partly responsible for their own misery due to lifelong notions of self-pity and self-centeredness.

Depression is a terrible physical disease and it can make people so vulnerable and lost inside that they aren't thinking straight. And, I buy that, as a nurse. But, deep down inside of me there's this nagging loathing for those who choose THAT option out of so many clearly healthier options, like calling 911, going to the hospital, getting help, trying anti-depressants, doing the HARD work that everyone else on this planet has to do to stay sane and alive and good to those who love us. The reason many people get so lost in the first place is they dishonorably, selfishly assume THEIR feelings are the center of the universe. They are wrong. Life is definately going to suck and get bad for those who focus on their own pitiful selves and not on bringing happiness to others.

Answer 2

But you have to consider and realize that suicidal people often genuinely believe that they are worthless and a burden upon the world. They often believe that nobody loves them, or that the world would be better off without them. Everyone might have someone who cares about them, but perhaps they don't realize it or feel they don't deserve to live. Sometimes, due to events such as abuse or death of a loved one, they might feel like there is nothing worth living for or become convinced that the whole world is terrible. Often, there will be signs that they want help, but they may not say it outright because they will be judged with things like "Oh, man up!" "Stop being selfish" or "Go ahead, you won't do it." It's a hell of a lot harder to "man up" then it sounds, and it's really something you have to experience to understand fully. A suicidal person could also argue that it is selfish to force them to stay in a world where they are so deeply unhappy that they would give anything just to leave. So is it selfish? Perhaps. But then again, aren't we all?

Answer 3

Suicide could be said to be selfish in one way, when it is used as an escape, but consider the way it has been used in Japanese culture. When there is a great failing or embarrassment that would bring shame to one's family or group, the suicide is a method of evening the account--it erases the shame of the family and at the same time places guilt on those who helped to create the situation wherein the suicide was 'necessitated.' It is a hard concept to grasp for a westerner like me, but there is definitely a "power move" aspect to suicide in some cultures. In this context, suicide would be both selfish AND selfless, as the one who is obliged to commit suicide must sacrifice in order to save his or her group's face. However, the group is selfish in this same context by requiring this sacrifice instead of allowing the shame to be absorbed and faced and overcome as a group. It is one of the disagreements I have with certain ideas of Japanese culture, and I think it is a major reason so many Japanese soldiers and civilians were lost in WWII.

So, in short, I do not agree with the Japanese take on the nobility of seppuku, but I can understand why it is done and why it can be thought of as noble within a cultural framework.

Answer 4

Closure is the key word here. If the husband and wife love eachother, they must understand you can't just move on until u know the corpse is actually dead and gone forever. Knowing that there have been miracles, and talking to the person in bed at the hospital help, also helps give closure to the wife and kids...they will feel that they did all they could and all they wanted to do before the natural end of life. I would have to say that leaving the family secure is sensible, but how comfortable are you really going to be if you have depression and guilt from not being there as much as you could have been until the TOD came???I'd be a mess personally. And money wouldn't matter to me much. Yes it would add to the stree, but when you are depressed, you could give two shits about anything.

Answer 5

neither act, neither comment.

When people get that feeling of "a way to solve their problem" they aren't thinking of anyone. They just want to solve the problem/pain/embarrassment or they don't want to be a burden. Their intention certainly is not to make family feel bad, and they certainly would never think there would be any mess, in fact they think they are making things better for everyone. Of course that kind of thinking is skewed. If they wanted anyone to solve it for them they would have asked for found a way out. It was their decision. When you're comparing "noble" to "selfish" you two may be saying the same thing as each other but just with different words. i.e. "men are from mars; women are from venus' kind of thing.

Answer 6

In a way I think it is selfish because of the pain and turmoil they leave behind. But you have to have compassiion for these indidvuals. To feel like there is no other way out other than ending it all together means that person is in a very desperate situation. It such a sad situation all together.

Answer 7

Self pity would be one of the primary symptoms that leads to suicide. Depression is also a chemical imbalance, so it not that cut and dry. I feel quite comfortable stating that it is not noble unless you are a Samurai soldier, and even then it's hard to conceive. I know of four people now that have committed the act of suicide and I often wondered what they would be doing now. I have learned through trial and error that there isn't anything that one can't get by with some help from our fellow man. God bless them and thier families.

Answer 8

When someone's mind has gone on a one track run to kill him/herself, I for one believe his/her mind has gone bonkers and need help. How can I so easily conclude that he/she is a selfish or a selfless person or a coward for that matter ?

A murderer...? Yes, a murderer is the most selfish thing that one can become.

Answer 9

I disagree with EVERYONE here....suicide is NOT selfish, but no everyone who does was right to do it. Killing yourself because your parents won't give you a Mercedes-Benz or Biff the High School Quarterback dumped you IS selfish. However, killing yourself because you have a terminally ill disease and you are in too much pain and don't want to waste away to nothing is okay in my book. Killing yourself to avoid the public humiliation of arrest and/or public execution if you are a sleazebag criminal is another okay in my book. Also, if you have REALLY screwed up on the job and made things a MILLION times more WORSE than it was before is also okay....just think of our "wonderful" president! LOL.

Answer 10

Suicide is the ultimate expression of despair. That person's limits have been reached and coping no longer is an option. Not selfish at all, just desperation. Desperate people do desperate things.

Answer 11

I think the men, women and children who are in wars with very little relief are pushed to the point against their will , because it is something they must get through, one way or the other. rational thinking would only benefit the on looker and maybe they are the real selfish ones.