A good looking husband is the worst - should I leave him?

Question

For ten years, I have put up with my very good looking husband enjoy too much attention from women. He claims he cannot help how the women act. I say, there have been too many occasions that add up to my suspecting that he asks for all of the attention. Women will do anything for him - help him get jobs, write college essays (years ago), etc. He just marvels and lets them. He claims he is not a flirt, but he does get people - kids, men, women, anyone - to be very close to him very quickly. People feel very comfortable with him because of his personality. I am tired of being suspicious and jealous. I have stayed this last year for the kids. I am suffering because of being married to him too much. I am not too bad looking, either - but I would love to be with an unattractive man who worships the ground I walk on - not other women worshipping the ground my husband walks on. My husband claims I'm a jealous freak - I think he needs to pull in the reins.

I am not crazy suspicious and jealous for no reason - he cheated on me five years ago. I recently found a text from a woman saying she loves him. My neighbor told me he was after her - but I thought she was just bored with her husband and saw her flirt with him in front of me. Things add up.

I am also very attractive and outgoing - how do you think I landed a hot guy? Would a guy like that want an unattractive woman when he has a choice? I am not jealous of his looks in the least, I just don't brag about my looks.

Answer 1

I understand what you are going through because i myself have been going through it from the very first date until now. My husband is a magnet that pulls women to him and he loves every minute of it. This is where you and i are different i couldn't stay with an unattractive man because his looks is what keeps me from getting bored with him. I thought about leaving him many times but the thought of him being with another woman and me never being with him again i couldn't take.Now that he is older and still a nice looking man to me because i still see him as he once was and to others lets just say i don't have to hold my breath when he leaves the house.It is very hard to be married to a good looking man because you know that there are a lot of women out there that would stop at nothing in order to get him away from you. All these women that's telling you it's not him but you don't know what the f u c k they are talking about unless you are married to a good looking man,i don't mean a good looking guy only to his wife but a man that is drop dead gorgeous to every woman a( brad pitt ) i would just ignore them because they really haven't a clue what we go through. Your husband sounds like my husband who flirts his a s s off in front of the women and acts like he doesn't know he is doing it or doesn't realize he is doing it, they think we are stupid and can't see through their games. If you can leave him more power to you but i don't think you can just like me,we don't like how they act in front of other women but look at it this way at least you are the one who gets to sleep with him every night.

Answer 2

I don't think the problem is with your husband, the problem is with you. You are a jealous wife and you need to get over it. You knew he was good looking, but he is married to you dear, not those other women! Put the cheating behind you, that was 5 years ago. Has it ever occured to you that you should ask him if he is cheating yourself instead of 'suspecting' or 'accusing' him just because he is such a handsome man?? And what about you, do you ever look at other men?

If you are tired of being suspicious and jealous, like you said here, then stop doing it! No need to be jealous of him, he is with you and he is married to you. You married him along with the whole package deal. For better or for worse! Take your marriage vows serious.

I really think that your husband married the wrong woman. You are too caught up on his looks rather than seeing who he really is. What are you going to tell your kids, if you have any, "I am leaving your father because he is too good looking." Wow, what a way to screw up their lives all because you are not satisfied about who your husband is. You are the one who needs some help. You are the one with the problem, not him.

I would consider on reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage." If you say you love him, then start showing that you do. Just get rid of your selfish thinking first.

Answer 3

Well, the best bet is to talk to him, and from the sounds of it, you've already voiced your concerns, and he just turns a deaf ear and continues to enjoy the attention despite your feelings. That's where he's messing up. Everyone loves attention from people based on positive things, but the line is crossed when it negatively affects the people you love.
I'd say just go with you gut, and as long as your happy, go with it. There's no sense in wasting any more time being unhappy. You children will ultimately be happier in the long run, too. It'll be hard, but children feed off of how you are on a daily basis, and remaining in an unhappy relationship will only feed the fire. Create a happy life however you can with your children, and your life. Everyone will end up better off.
Good luck!

Answer 4

There is a problem here. And I think it is you. If your husband has given you no reason to think he is fooling around on you then I believe you are being over sensitive.
He can't help his looks no more than an ugly man can help his looks.
Stop trying to make him feel that you are ashamed of the way he looks, and wish he wasn't as handsome.
Did he or did he not choose YOU to Marry?
Is it YOU he comes home to every night?
Is it YOU he chose to have babies with?
You should be proud that the other women fawn over him. He's YOURS.
Do you make yourself look as good as you can for his sake?
When he takes you out, do you dress up and look gorgeous for HIM. If you don't then it's about time you started
HE WILL make you feel like you are the only woman on Earth for him, if you make him feel HE is the only man on earth for you.
So get out the sexy nightgown, put some soft music on ( after you put the kids to bed of course) and light some candles

Answer 5

U are being overly insecure and yes, a jealous freak. You should be proud that u have a hot hubby, ur the one he comes home to, for now. Keep this up and he won't!! The sad thing is that you are sooo jealous of not only his looks but his personality. Maybe if you worked on your personality people would treat u like they do him.

Answer 6

No, marriage is a covenant, or promise, to be with someone no matter what happens. You will be much happier down the road if you just try to work out your problems with him now because divorce is painful and messy for everyone involved. Although many americans use divorce as a wussy cop-out, divorce should never be the solution to a problem.

Answer 7

You need to calm down and don't blame his "looks" on you being unhappy. If you are not happy then leave but do it for that reason only. You may find a less attractive man who treats you like S**t, by beating you and/or your kids. You should take a look at yourself I think the problem is you.

Answer 8

He's not doing anything wrong....you're simply jealous of the attention he's getting. People are not attracted to him simply by his good looks...he probably has a great personality and a good sense of humor, and like every jealous women, probably half your problem comes from your imagination.

Answer 9

You should of left when he cheated..and you actually thought he was going to stop being a dog...Well no turning back..but now you can move forward..If theirs no trust, theres no marriage,,ur not happy so get out of it..just be there for ur kids and you'll get thru it.

Answer 10

Find your own man to flirt with and to pay you some attention. I am sure there are lots of guys around your area who would put you first and foremost. good luck!