How do you get over hurting 2 people?

Question

A couple of years ago, I emotionally cheated on my husband. He has forgiven me, but I still feel bad. Plus I ended up hurting the other guy also. How can I forgive myself, or should I? I messed up so I need 2 deal with it right?

Answer 1

If it has been a few years I think you can let it go. Your husband has forgiven you and it takes a lot to get over something like that. You've punished yourself for long enough If he has moved on then you should try to as well. Good luck to you two, I think you have good strength to make it through that :)

Answer 2

That is the unfortunate result of an affair, emotional or otherwise. The good thing is that your husband has forgiven you.

It's OK to make mistakes. The key is to learn from them and do something positive with what you learn. You do need to deal with it, but so do the two men involved.

Definitely forgive yourself and put your effort into your marriage. Go to some individual and/or marital counseling and see if there is some underlying reason for your affair so you can work it out. It will work out, you'll see.

Answer 3

Yes you need to forgive yourself. You hurt people but you can't focus on that forever you have to think about why you did it and how you hurt them. Then you need to put it in the past once and for all. I did something once that I find unforgivable. Several people were hurt in the process. I have done my best to make amends and ask for forgiveness. How I forgave myself was based on my relationship with God. He says when we ask for forgiveness the sin is completely forgotten. So I actually force myself, whenever it comes to mind, to say it's in the past, I've done what I could and asked forgiveness. I am forgiven. And then I choose to not think about it anymore. So many of us have screwed up but if we focus on only that it will eventually destroy us and our relationships. I am telling you right now that yes you should forgive yourself. Free yourself so that you can be close to your husband without anything in the way.

Answer 4

The best way to deal with it is put it behind you. If you try and make it up to man 2 you will be only opening up doors that should stay closed and at the same time her your husband again. You need to put your relationship and husband far ahead of anyone else. Stop living in the past and focus on tomorrow with your husband.

Answer 5

If you have apologized to both of them, and mended your ways, you can forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You just made a really bad one that cost you a lot in trust in your marriage. Ask for God's forgiveness, too, and you'll feel better.

Answer 6

easy answer: what is dwelling on it helping you accomplish? if the answer is nothing, then it's pretty pointless. if there is some good you find in beating yourself up, then perhaps it is worthwhile. i don't know what that would be, but i'm sure this isn't the first mistake that you've made. if you really think you need help forgiving yourself (sounds kinda drama-queenish to me), then see a therapist and pay them to tell you everything you already know.


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Answer 7

Well, I think that this signals that you basically need to find yourself. You need to go on a journey of self discovery and redemption. (I'm not talking abuot getting all religious) I'm saying take a trip with your friends or something. Discuss these things with them, and if you feel like you still need to pay for past crimes, apologize, admit to whatever happened, and then say "i'm going to move on now."

Answer 8

You'll have to live with that guilt forever, and you SHOULD. Use it as a constant reminder of what can happen when you act without thinking.