I was talking to my friend about a particularly bad time I was going through with money. I couldn't afford a house payment so he offered to let me borrow $1600.00. I accepted. This was in December.
I was going through a divorce and he had a crush on me. I care about him too but then I wanted to work on my relationship with my ex so I got back with him. I kind of let the money slide and didn't pay him back at all.
I didn't tell my husband about this. He emails me in August and told me that I need to pay him back because its ruining our friendship. He said I was taking advantage of him. I got really offended and told him to never talk to me again. I felt like he was taking stabs at my character as a person.
I sent him $50.00 and he sent me back the check ripped up. He said money isn't worth losing a friendship over. Am I being a jerk?
2007-08-16 10:22:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
yeah you're a jerk alright.
borrowing money even though he had a crush on you was one thing... but you really lost your integirty by not paying him back and then telling him never to speak to you cause he was honest thatit was hurting the friendship and asked you to pay him back. really he shouldnt have had to ask in the first place, and the fact that you got md at his honesty ...
well not only are you a jerk, you suck as a friend
PS friendship or not, you should still pay him back
2007-08-16 10:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you lost a good opportunity with this guy. Now you might want to start being honest with your husband and tell him about borrowing the money. Hiding things from your husband isn't a good way to start a marriage, much less repair one that's been damaged. Maybe together you can give him a money order for the whole $1,600. Maybe he won't rip that up. If your husband finds out about the debt by surprise, guess what? No more marriage, and he probably won't take you back again. And this guy won't risk getting his heart broken again, either. Since you borrowed the money in Dec, you should have started paying him back in Jan, and not let it go for six months. He maybe saw you sending that check as a slap in his face. But you and your husband present him with a $1,600 money order. No checks. He may not believe you have it in your account. He may have made his money a gift, since he didn't figure you'd pay him back, but since you apparently told him you wouldn't accept that, he expected payment, and after two more months of not getting paid back(a total of 8 months now), he probably told you you took advantage of him because maybe he was telling you he wasn't going to be a doormat anymore. And him sending back that check either said he wanted nothing more to do with you, or he didn't believe your check was good. So present him with a money order, face to face, both you and your husband, with big time apologies. I am curious why you still had contact with him even after you chose to get back with your husband. I'm thinking there's more going on here than meets the eye, at least for those of us reading this.
2016-04-01 18:19:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I felt like he was taking stabs at my character as a person."
Excuse me, but when you borrow money with a promise to pay it back and you don't do so you have already established your "character as a person". He was merely pointing your character flaws out. Apparently, honesty offends you.
Here is how you redeem yourself:
Tell your husband about the debt. Find the money somewhere and pay your friend back in total - not some pittance like $50. Mail the check with a note thanking him for the loan. Make it clear that you are devoted to saving your marriage and wish him a nice life in a respectful sort of way. Then don't be stupid by contacting him again.
2007-08-16 10:41:17 · answer #3 · answered by Flyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Borrowing money from a friend in the first place qualifies as a jerk in my book. If he sent the check back, he has decided to consider it a gift. At this point, paying it back would make you a bigger jerk. Accept the gift and move on, or consider the friendship lost.
2007-08-16 12:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by STEVEN F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You got offended because someone you owe money to asked for it back? Because you "kind of let the money slide"?
Yes, you are a jerk. Pay back the money.
2007-08-16 10:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Not repaying a debt does qualify you as a jerk.
Ignoring a debt to a friend makes you a full fledged JackAss. You should tell your husband about the debt and tell him that you will be taking money out of the household budget to repay this debt as fast as you can.
Email your generous friend and tell him that you are going to try to get the debt paid off asap.
2007-08-16 10:31:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are being a jerk!!!! You owe him money - pay him back. You had a nerve telling him not to talk to you again. You don't deserve a friend like him.
2007-08-16 11:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
total jerk == a loan is a commitment no matter who the lender be -- you owe him the money and i would call him and tell in no uncertain terms how and when you are going to pay him back!!!
2007-08-16 10:33:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you dont pay the $$$$ back your a jerk.Find out which bank he does his business and deposit the money in his account.And NEVER do it again!!
2007-08-16 10:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by headwiper 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know the answer. you take advantage of this poor guy and then get offended when he tells you the truth to your face? you need to pay him!
2007-08-16 10:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by super87freak 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋