Men, when you see a divorced women, do you think?

Question

1) She was apparently not worth keeping.
or 2) She makes bad decsions.

Or a combination of both?

Answer 1

wow, there's a lot of good answers from you men! what a great bunch of guys [most of] you are!

having been divorced once myself, and the instigator of the divorce, i was about to say if it were either of them it would be more like #2, as i feel i made *A* bad decision to marry him in the first place. he was a loser, and did a lot of crappy things, but it was my choice to marry him in the first place... my bad decision. (i was quite young & naive though, in my defense. but now i know much more! and i'm remarried)


edit: BUT i think divorcing him when i did was a GOOD decision. we didn't have any kids yet (thankfully!! whew!) and hadn't made any huge purchases, so it was a nice clean split, no reason to ever deal with that drunken abusive freak ever again. YAY!

Answer 2

I would have to say that the probabilty that she is a bad decision maker would be correct. But I feel it is wrong to put a label on a person.

Divorces can happen for any number of reasons now days. A divorced woman doesn't always mean that she was at fault or even half to blame for being divorced. On the other hand, sometimes it goes the other way.

To pass judgement before knowing a person just shows the prejustice, ignorance, and maturity of the individual. Look at it like this, if she is a bad decision maker and she is interested in you, what does that make you? An equal to her ex!!!

Answer 3

Neither.
I fall back on the fact that most of the time, divorces are at the insistence of the wife over her husband's objection for reasons such as "not feeling loved" or "growing apart". I consider it as probable that she is most likely to be manipulative and vengeful.

If there are children involved, I consider the possibility (because the likelihood is great) that she saw a chance to punish her ex for real or perceived wrongs while at the same time keeping her hands planted in HIS pockets, simultaneously using his emotional attachment to his children as a tool to punish him unjustly.

Fact is, most divorces are filed by women for "touchy-feely" reasons instead of most of those being listed by hate mongers in the other answers. Abuse and alcoholism are rated well down the list for reasons to divorce for both men and women.

Most divorced women in the US (approximately 80%) are so because they demanded divorce and most often for 'reasons' that I find unreasonable.

Answer 4

Basically, she couldn't get it right the 1st time. Either:
1) She was too lazy to make it work(they were too lazy)
2) She was the wrong one in the relationship... she cheated, and so on
3) Even if the husband was truly that lousy(abusive, infidelity), she still goes for those guys and I'm not one of those guys, so it wouldn't work out anyways.
4) Even if she realized she wants a nice/good guy, the good guys get stuck taking care of the bad guys kids later in life. I'm not going to be one of those nice guy's who take care of the bad guy's kids. Maybe that makes me a bad guy; I don't know? Women need to pro-create with the nice guys to begin with(not that I'm an angel really, but I'm decent enough).

Of course, this is the critical side of me talking... I don't expect people to be absolutely perfect. I just move a lot slower in these situations. I would rather get married once, or never at all.

Beautiful Irish Girl: Since you want to point me out... Sorry, I forgot to include: 5) She dumped him when the sex goes bad. I am truly sympathetic about the illness, because I had seen a statistic that said that nearly 80% of marriages where one partner gets severly ill, end in divorce. Trust me! I am Sympathetic(not empathetic). In the past, I've nearly died myself, from something 'unknown'(toxic mold exposure) that lasted for a while(not just a few weeks or a few months) and recovered. I couldnt' even walk 20 feet without almost passing out.
And please, please, please forgive me for believing in love and only wanting to get married once, and choosing my partners accordingly. I will go and get into a relationship with every divorced woman out there now!

Edit(2): Beautiful Irish Girl: You must understand my confusion because your story changes... at first, you said he doesn't want sex with anyone... and then later, you imply that he had sex with your best friend(you added after original edit). I think in your situation, would be different. The last part of my answer states, that this is my critical thinking part... but I definitely take it much slower.
Email me or IM if needed.

Answer 5

Sorry, I am not a man, but I used to be a divorced woman. I since remarried and have been in a very happy and healthy relationship with my husband for over 17 years now.

In my own experience, men admired my strength and courage for taking responsibility for my mistake and moving on.

Answer 6

both and more.
While not all divorced people are at fault for their divorces, I think the majority are trouble.

I have a friend who is on his 4th marriage and on the verge of divorce. I understand 1, maybe even 2 mistakes, but after that it is obvious that he is a major part of the problem.
Divorce creates more problems than it solves.

Answer 7

its a combo a lot of times it can mean she is not really willing to work on a relationship but that could be because she married a loser. Thing is there is no telling anymore to many people think they can just get a divorce if it doesnt work out

Answer 8

i depends on how many times she`s been married. if only 1 or 2 times its no big deal but anything above 3 or 4 times always raises a red flag for me because its not always the guys fault for the problems they had.

Answer 9

Gee, your choices both make the woman at fault. The lady I'm seeing right now is divorced because her ex is a cheating, lying a**hole.

Answer 10

Well when they see me, they should think "Her ex husband refused to have sex with her for 10 months". If a man made those assumptions about me, i would not want to date him anyway. I was recently widowed. Does that mean I killed him? Of course not, unless you are a moron. Kendrick dear, I am divorced with NO children. And my ex is my best friend; he is not a bad guy. He just has no interest in sex with anyone. That is fine, but I don't want to be married to him. You are so busy making assumptions you cannot see what is right in front of your face. Free your mind, honey.

**EDIT** I should also add that it was not just the sex.....I was diagnosed with stage III cancer less than six months after we got married. I am sure most have never been in that situation....but it tears a marriage apart.

What goes around, comes around. Come talk to me after your wife ***** your best friend and you divorce her. :)