“Look at me “
Cant you see? I’m perfectly
Imperfect.
I may have a smile that’s brighter than
Day and possess what might
Seem to be a definite indefinable amount of poise .
But deep down beneath the tough exterior
of my façade I’m crying oh so uncontrollably,
waiting For that day that ill be able to find my self
and just be happy to be me.
Life is stress in its self …..
7 O’ Clock wake the kids get them off to School but remind them
No matter what 1’s says to you stay strong in every thing they do and
Mama will always love you but at the same time realizing the torment
They might be going through……
8 O’ Clock get ready for work (mentally) which actually means
get ready for a day of *** kissing and to be talked and gossiped about
but only with a Smile on your face and not a thing to say
through out the entire dam day.
11 ’clock at work thinking about the kids and wondering what their doing
As your rudely interrupted by you coworker wit the ?
2007-08-16 07:24:09 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I like the first three stanzas but I think it loses focus when you start giving examples. It is no longer concise. I'm not sure why you want to tackle things by the hour, I'm not sure that's a good idea, why not just have a stanza for each of your areas of concern or whatever you want to call them and leave the times out? I think you have a block because you don't know what your trying to express. I'd suggest you keep the 3 stanzas and forget the rest and ask yourself what am I trying to say and then say it concisely. You can always put it in better poetic form once you have your main ideas expressed.
2007-08-16 10:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by William D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly, my husband had a kidney stone back in November that had to be surgically bumped off. The soreness he grow to be experiencing on each and every occasion the stone tried to pass grow to be excrutiating. do no longer forget that he has to truly sense as though he's dying to comply with pass to a doctor. The nurse on the ER advised him that she's been advised that a guy having a kidney stone is very like the soreness of a woman giving start. you be responsive to what? He grow to be a brilliant toddler with those pains! confident, i think for him, yet i did no longer act everywhere close to to that once i grow to be in hard work for 18 hours!
2016-10-10 08:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's great, except for when you write: "the tough exterior of my facade." A facade is an exterior. I would re-work that.
Also, there are a coupld of typos: dam should be damn, wondering what their doing should be wondering what they're doing.
Otherwise I love the sentiment of being perfectly imperfect. It must be soooooo hard to be a mother. Chin up.
2007-08-16 07:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by Beach Saint 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋