Something like:
It's not me, it's you.
2007-08-16 05:31:13 · 61 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell 'til I met you."
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the **** was I thinking?"
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this!"
"Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, I would like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married, but not to you."
"Sorry things didn't work out, but I can't handle guys with boobs that are bigger than mine."
"Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...Almost Lifelike!"
"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time, what say we call it quits."
"I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often."
"Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday---so we're having you put to sleep."
2007-08-16 05:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by Van T 5 · 11⤊ 3⤋
Front:Get well soon
Inside:Because the doctor told me if not you'll die!
Front:Thank you
Inside: For nothing
Front:I'm glad to know a person like you
Inside:It makes me feel better about myself.
Front: Happy Birthday
Inside:Cause from the looks of it your not having many more.
Front:I love you!
Inside: Because you have cable TV
Front:Happy Aniversary to my Loving Husband!
Inside:I cheated on you
Front:Missing you
Inside:But only a little teeny bit
Front:Your that bright star in the sky.
Inside:Did you know they become really bright right before they explode?
Front:Your invited...
Inside: To my funeral.
Front:Your invited to my birthday party!
Inside:Actually they were all out of Just Because cards!
Front:Congrats on finding a GREAT MAN!
Inside:Trust me, I know.
Front:Thanks for being my friend
Inside:No one else would.
Front:If I had to choose you or myself I'd choose you
Inside:To die
Front:I'm sorry
Inside:Does this count for everytime I did something bad?
Front:I'm sorry
Inside:but I thought you were someone else.
Front:Thinking of you
Inside:Wow, why did I ever hang out with you?
Front:You are a rock and I am paper
Cover:Haha, paper covers rock.
Front:Happy Birthday!
Cover:I guess I'll just let you sleep.
Front:I wish you were here
Inside:Then I wouldn't have to be
Front:Your a superhero
Inside:You have superspeed to start crying!
Front:My little angel
Inside:Is really a devil?
Front:To my beautifull daughter
Inside:Remember that this gift keeps you at work in the night time
Front:Congradulations On The Two Cute Little Twins
Inside:I Mean The Ones Above Your Stomach
Front:Congradulations on your beautifull baby girl
Inside:And her 4 other twins
Front:Congradulations on your darling little budlle of joy
Inside:AKA your big fat ugly whiny Devil of a son.
2007-08-16 05:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I personally think all these funny and crazy remarks should be on a card.
I made a card for my best frined when he finally had sex after having a loooong dry spell. lol. He didn't know what to expect and when he saw the card he was laugting his *** off!
I really don't think people are selling a, "congrats, ya got laid" card. So I made one.
2007-08-16 05:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by basmusiq 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For a sympathy card to a widow or widower:
You're better off without him/her.
Hey, now you have more time for YOU!
So, what are you doing this weekend? **wink**wink**
Got any plans for those golf clubs? What about those power tools?
I can take that old jewelry off your hands for you.
Don't ask me for any help around the house!
What are you gonna do with all your free time now?
Bet you're relieved!
I bet this cuts down on your grocery bill!
So, are your looking forward to celibacy?
2007-08-16 05:54:21 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ тнє σяιgιиαℓ gιяℓfяι∂αу ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happy Hemmorhoids, Love Mom.
2007-08-16 05:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
The front says "I saw your picture today, you look like you've lost weight!"
Then the inside says "yeah, I bet it is stressful being on the registered offenders list, better luck next lifetime!"
2007-08-16 05:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to tell you, I'm dating your sister!
Wtih Sympathy
Sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, he was great in bed!
Singing Card " Who that is" "Oh that's just my baby daddy" "Oh that's just my Baby Daddy"!
Congrats on the baby, to bad the father left because you got too fat!
Screw your birthday, it's really not "that" important.
Thank you Card "I only invited you for the gifts" "Thanks"
Wedding invitation "Please join us in the union of Jane & Jerry" "PS she's only marring him for the money"
2007-08-16 08:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by ~* Garden Empress*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on the results of your baby's paternity test. You're not financially liable.
2007-08-16 08:04:42 · answer #8 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really have an answer for this one, but I just gotta tell you Silly Rabbit...you ask such creative questions! Have a wonderful weekend! Annie
2007-08-16 05:37:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If It's to a husband from his wife: "you're bigger than your brother." Can a man feel proud and cry at the same time?
2007-08-16 05:36:03 · answer #10 · answered by Dr.Lao 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋