How do I persuade my husband its time to start a family?

Question

My husband and I have been together for almost twelve years now. He has always known that I want a family, but constantly puts it off. I have had several health problems making it impossible for me to just end up pregnant. I know that i will need to be on medicine and he needs to be supportive. His reason for waiting is always the same...money. We have a comfortable life and unless we win the lottery its not going to get any better. What should I do? I need his support but this is very important to me and he has always known this

Answer 1

Sit down and really talk to him. He might have some fears of his own. Be honest and listen to what he has to say. But, let him know you are ready and don't want to put it off anymore.

Answer 2

Schedule a visit with the doctor who would be putting you on med. to help get pregnant. Take your husband with you. Tell him you are just gathering information and that you are not planning on getting pregnant without him on board.

Maybe he is afraid of having multiples. If so, you could always gather information about adoption instead. Give him several different options and all the information you can gather. If he still says no, then I'm sorry it's no. You can't make on your own a life-changing decision without two yeses.

Answer 3

After 12 years sounds like he is yes-ing you to death. This guy is not looking to have children. I would not look to persuade him as you are setting yourself up for a life time of heart ache for you and the baby. He will later resent you for having a child and you will resent that he is not being a father but is only acting like a sperm donor.

My advise find a guy that wants a family before you end up
not being able to have children.

Answer 4

he's always known you wanted a family, but what have you always known about him?

i'm sure you want a family, and i hope you'll be able to have one... what was the result of this type of discussion BEFORE you got married?

people don't change easily.

i think the best thing to do is to talk with him, tell him how you feel about this, and ask him what he feels/thinks as well.

perhaps you can discuss it, and come to some reasonable solution... i wish you all the happiness! take care.

Answer 5

Tell him exactly how you told us. To the word. If he still doesn't want to be supportive then you might have to deal with the idea maybe he doesn't want kids or maybe he is afraid to have kids cus he is comfortable with the way things are. You definately should go to counseling with him to work this out either way to get help for his fear, to find out what he wants or in this case doesn't want, or just counseling to go through what you will be going through to get pregnant.

Answer 6

you can 't presuade anyone to have a family I can see how much you want it but you can't push that on him if he isn't ready.I know he probably should be after 12 years but obviously he doesn't want to be a parent money is just an excuse for want his real feelings are.I would say you need to really find out why he doesn't want a child and tell him don't tell you its money cuz you know better and then if he doesn't want to you need to re think your marriage and decide if you are willing to settle for this situation.

Answer 7

if hes waiting because of money, it will never happen. youll never have enough money but you just make it work.
sounds like he just doesnt want a family

Answer 8

You need to talk to him...maybe he does not want a family : (

Answer 9

you can't force him to give you kid's, sounds like he don't want kid's. as bad as you want to have one you might put your marriage at risk, so maybe you better just give it up