I have a friend that I just found out is dating a married man. She at first lead me to believe that this man was getting a divorce. This is a man that she had an affair with years ago, the affair ended, and now the affair is back on. I recently found out that this man is not in the process of getting a divorce. My friend doesn't see anything wrong with having a relationship with him because she's in love and he is in an unhappy marriage. I am married, so I know how marriage is. Marriage is a job, some days you feel like working at it other days you don't but the commitment is always there. My parents marriage ended due to my father having an affair. The man that she is seeing also has children. My friend is upset becasue she feels that she's not getting the support needed from her friends. I am leaning toward ending my friendship with her. She says that he is going to get a divorce I can't understand why she can't wait for this to happen before she continues the relationship.
2007-08-16 02:27:53 · 32 answers · asked by Shakey 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let your friend know you do not approve. Distance yourself a bit, and let her know that you are doing so. Tell her that you love her dearly, and will be there for her when she truly needs you. Then say a prayer for her, give your own husband a hug and a kiss and let life go forward. Your friend is a bad cycle right now...you don't walk away totally. You just put enough distance between you just so she can see you at the end of the horizon...very far away but reachable when she will need you.
2007-08-16 02:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who is just like your friend too.
When you are in love, sometimes, you
get blinded by love, and it does not
matter whether some one is going to
get hurt in the extra marital affair or not..
Yes, it is selfish.
But, is there anyone in this world
who can claim themself as the pure, holy, innocent one, who has never commited any mistake at all..?
Give your friend a chance.
You do not have to reprimand or support her actions.
You probabaly have gave her a piece of your mind. You have your own set of morals and values.
But try to put yourself in her shoes.
You have dealt with a bad experience during your childhood.
You hated the third party.
It takes two hands to clap.
Don't you think the guy has to be blamed too?
Before you start pointing fingers at your friend, and
starting to feel pity for the other women...you do not even understand what is going through the minds of your friend and the guy...
Was she a good friend to you in the first place?
Don't let this come in between both of your relationship.
Do you even understand what she is going through?
Maybe this will eventually end..Let fate handle it, my dear.
There will always be an ending to every story.
2007-08-16 02:48:30 · answer #2 · answered by rinoao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship goes through doubts and concerns. Everyone changes and their life changes as well.
My "best" friend and I had been friends for 12 years and best friends for 5 years. We started growing apart and our lives where going into different directions.
My "best" friend was also dating a married man. She called me up crying that "He is seeing his wife behind my back!"
It is very difficult when your friends make bad decisions over and over again. There is just so much a person can do to be supportive even if they do not agree with their friends' choices!
It really is up to you. But I can tell you, I've been there and done that, and now my "best friend" and I are no longer talking. Not just because she was dating a married man and constantly making decisions I didn't agree with, but another reason was that I got married and she didn't like the fact that I couldn't go out clubbing, drinking and partying every night and weekend like I used to.
2007-08-16 02:52:39 · answer #3 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is being fed a line of bull. This guy is not going to get a divorce as it is cheaper to keep his wife. Most men who cheat do not leave there wives and if they do they are not going to get tied down to the woman they are having an affair with and play husband to her. It is sad that your friend has no morals nor self respect. Also I would tell your friend that if she thinks he is not sleeping with his wife she is sadly mistaken.
I would move on as I would not support such a thing. Also when she get married I don't think she would be ok if she was the wife with kids he was cheating on.
2007-08-16 02:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should not end your friendship because she wants to be with a man that is lying to her about getting a divorce. You have to realize that once your body is in the dirt in some cemetery your friend will not be living for you so live for yourself. Just accept the fact that she thinks that she is love and just be here to support her when she finds out that he is a liar.
She will realize that the time she spent investing in him and his lies just wasn't worth it.
But I would still be her friend. Besides if that is the only reason why you would stop being her friend what does that say about you. Be her friend to the end just like the Chucky doll. She's gonna need you especially if his wife that he is supposedly divorcing finds out.
2007-08-16 02:39:42 · answer #5 · answered by sommore101 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Expecting your friends to rally round a delusional mess like her relationship with a married man with children? Uh-uh, you're on the right track--and if you stick to your guns on this, she may get some kind of message...that it is NOT O.K. to have affairs like that. If she continues to believe that "he's getting a divorce", she's joining the club of idiot women who ruin their lives for nothing. I knew a woman who stuck with a married lover for 15 years, believing in his upcoming divorce all those weary years. At the end, she wound up unmarried with no real life, no children, no nothing. Send the message!
2007-08-16 02:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by constantreader 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True friends tell you that your poop stinks.
I would not end the friendship, but I tell her, "I just telling you the truth. What do you want me to do lie to you? You are being stupid having an affair with a married man and thinking this will turn out okay."
2007-08-16 07:27:38 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a vicious woman really...I would let the husbands wife know ..have a guy you know call and tell her. Then the husband is ratted out and that poor woman can confront her cheating husband. I feel soo bad for that wife. She deserves to know. Then I would definately kick that friend to the curb. If she can fall in love with a married man that belongs to another woman without the thought of that womans feelings whats to stop her from messing with your husband. Then she would be like well we are in love. You can't trust a person like that. She is untrustworthy and has no feelings for anyone but herself putting her feelings for this man and giving no consideration that he might be lying and his wife thinks everything is ok. shame on her women like that make me sick
2007-08-16 03:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is your friend right and if she wants to date a married man thats her business. If you are truly her friend you will be there for her. What i mean is that when she falls she will fall hard.
I see a lot wrong with this picture this man is not going to leave his wife and kids for her. He is just using her for his own needs because if his marriage was over he wold not still be in it. Been there done that
2007-08-16 02:34:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends are a reflection of you. It is okay if you don't want to the associated with someone who engages in things you don't believe in. You are right for not supporting her for this. It's one thing to have an affair, but when children are involved it very sad.
2007-08-16 02:35:43 · answer #10 · answered by PhantomRN 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋