I have been trying to get the courage to leave my abusive husband for months now but i am so scared of the unknown starting a new life on my own away from my family and everything i know also i am worried about finances as i have no money as im not allowed to work or have money of my own. Also i have a 3 year old daughter and it means me settling her into a new nursery and im 12 weeks pregnant and im scared of going through my pregnancy alone or if something serious goes wrong with me or baby when i have my daughter to look after. the situation im in my head is so muddled i need to get out as situation is getting worse i dont know where to start and what to do about the pregnancy. I want the baby just very very scared at the minute.
2007-08-16 02:23:10 · 31 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
CHRISTANINE- The reason i am pregnant is my partner took my birth control pills and refuses to use any contraception and frequently rapes me.
2007-08-16 04:19:01 · update #1
Please walk out now ring a refuge and ask them to pick you up. you have to take the plunge and set up a proper life for you and your children.
They may suffer in the short term but in the long term they'll thank you . you all deserve more.
Good Luck
2007-08-16 02:37:07 · answer #1 · answered by derek m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly - no offense to everyone on here - but you need to seek better advice than that of random people on the net.
If I was in that situation I would think to myself that no matter how hard the initial struggle was on walking out of the relationship, you have a 3 yr old and another on the way - it will all be for the good of your two children in the end.
If you cant do it for yourself - do it for them - you've already made the first big step in deciding you want to leave. The strength will come from the need to protect your children.
There are places that you can go - I know its not ideal - but if your in an abusive situation - you dont really have much of a choice. Either stay there and live with it - or leave and build a new life for your kids.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your choice. x
2007-08-16 02:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out with the police by your side, get the locks changed to your house. Alert the police that he may be back causing trouble. If you get in touch with a women's support group and give them all the details they will be able to provide you with a personal alarm and help you make your house more secure at no cost to your self. Alert the neighbours of your situation ask them to call the police if they see or hear anything suspect when you are in the house or not. Failing that try a women's refuge the council will re house you after a certain length of time. You really have nothing to be afraid of except the first wrench of it all. A few months down the line you will look back and think that it is the best thing you have ever done for both you and your children. You will never look back and you will be a stronger person for it. I KNOW!!!!
2007-08-16 06:20:28 · answer #3 · answered by holly b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in exactly the same position as you. I got advice from my health visitor, she gave me contact details for a women's refuge. I somehow got together courage and strength and took my two children to this refuge. At the time i was so confused and didn't know which way to turn, but now i know it was the right decision for my children and myself, we are all much happier, calm and above all safe. It wasn't easy making the first steps to leave, as i too was scared of the unknown. Hope this in some way helps and i am sure you will find the courage to do the right thing. Good luck in the decisions you make and love to you and your child(ren) xxx
2007-08-16 20:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Starting thinking that you can do, it's a start. Visualize step by step what you can do for yourself and your daughter and future child. There're a lot associations that help mothers with children. It's not good for the children to live in a abusive enviroment. Just think that everything is possible and that you are a strong person, and that you will get through this period of your life, and that you deserve to be happy. Leave him, don't look back, find help, and rebuild your life. Good luck, dear!
2007-08-16 03:13:21 · answer #5 · answered by blue_jade88 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your nearest womens refuge and ask for help; this man will not get any better; take it from me, I was in your place; second relationship, four children, number five on the way....and I got out.
You will be fine; the courage you have is just waiting to burst out of you; when you make that first move, you get such a feeling of power and conrol over your life you will never look back. I went through my pregnancy alone too; jst get out now and go to the nearest womens refuge; thay will help you and advise you. Have you a mum or sister or best friend that could help you make this decision, because it helps if you have backing....
2007-08-16 06:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you manage before you met him?You can make it alone even if you have to survive on benefits.You have to leave ,this man will continue to beat you down and what is it doing to your child how is it affecting her mental health.My ex beat on me I left when my daughter was 9 today she is 21 and still has fears because of it.Children adapt better than us adults,a couple of days in a new nursery is not the end of the world she will have new friends in no time.When that a** hole is out just pick up your belongings and go,it will be tough emotionally but take one day at a time and never look back and don't ever let him talk you in to going back because he will never change.You owe it to yourself and you child to make a decent happy life.Please leave the sooner the better you life is in you hands don't let him take it away.
2007-08-16 06:09:30 · answer #7 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact the local police station (anonumously) and ask if they have a local womens shelter and a contact number. There you will find help in getting back on your feet, needed counseling, and a safe place to sleep.
I know this is a very difficult time for you, I am assuming that your family lives in another city. Be sure to contact them when you choose to make this step so that they won't worry...that is the first place he will look for you. Contacting your family about your plans may also help with finding a place to stay and getting back on your feet.
Remember you have more courage than you realize!
GOD BLESS YOU! You and your children will be in my prayers.
2007-08-16 02:38:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and ask for the nearest shelter for you and your daughter. My mate done this years ago and has had a great life ever since.The social services will give you lots of support and help you to find somewhere else to stay. It may take a wee while, but it's certainly worth it in the long run. Good luck.
2007-08-16 02:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Angela M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when your in an abusive relationship it is hard to leave cause you believe you cannot make it on your own.. that your abuser is sorry afterwards.. and no matter how many times he says it will never happen again.. it does. It took me almost being killed to recognize i needed to get out of my cycle of abuse and you already know you do!
Call a women's shelter.. worry about you and your daughter.. and the baby your carrying. Most shelters will help you get a job and settled into being without him!
Hurry cause when your life's at risk soon aint soon enough.
2007-08-16 02:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by jeselynn_81 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please leave you shouldn't be thinking you cant do things on you own that's rubbish there's so many woman who have been in the same boat has you i know its hard and you always think that there's no light at the end off the tunnel BELIEVE ME you can do it and you need to stay strong for your daughter think off the future you could have safe happy etc don't every think guys like this will change cause the cant so do whats right for you and your daughter and start a fresh all the very best
2007-08-16 04:58:35 · answer #11 · answered by skye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋