Sex... (over 18 please)?

Question

I have a question about threesomes. My husband wants one and I have no issue with having sex with women (I am bi).
My question is will this hurt our relationship? (We have a great relationship and are best friends as well as lovers)
The last thing I want to do is put our marriage in jeopardy but I do want to fullfill his fantasy.

We've been taking about having one for about two years. Though I've always known it was one of his fanties.
(we're very open about sex and have discussed all of our fanties together)

And if all you're going to do is try and insult me like Spelling Nazi, don't post. This is a real question and thank you to those who have answered me serously and honestly.

For Lydia... I don't know how being bi is hurting my relationship, I was bi long before we got together and sorry to tell you, we have two kids.
(For others, the threesome would not be at our home but in a hotel room)

Answer 1

If you are second guessing, I wouldnt do it. I am in a three way right now with my husband and our girlfriend. We hada great sex life and was just lookin for something different. It has brought a lot to our table, meaning that we talk more and have a sex life more, just everything seems to be better now. I dont know what it is about bringing in a 3rd person, but it helped. Please dont do nothing that you are not goin to be comfortable with. You should stop and think about it, and dont just grab any woman........get to know several and make sure that all 3 of you are compatable with each other. Good luck and I hope this helped.

Answer 2

S.D. The problem is not the fantasy, most of the problems come when it becomes reality. You have the fall back right now of being able to tell yourself that he has never really done it with another woman and you at the same time and there is security in that, but when you cross that line, doubts start to arise, questions linger and then come the problems. He will start to experience the same questions, doubts and have the same issues as well. Okay, I should say most people do, there are some that say they do not. Now, you have to ask yourself, would you put one real live bullet in a revolver, spin the chamber and without knowing, point the gun to your head and pull the trigger? There are five empty chambers and only one bullet, the odds are in your favor. No, sane people do not take the risk of one in six that they will blow their brains out. So why would you put your marriage in that same position. Sure, the two of you may be very open and everything about sex and fantasies, but there is that loaded chamber out there and if you land on it, BLAM! Dead marriage and the next thing you know, you are talking about who gets the kids this week...

Answer 3

The problem with making fantasies real is that you have to come up with a new fantasy and then again should that become real too.

It seems only a rare few couple are able to expand their sex life to include another and still remain together in the long run.

You could be one of those rare couples, but the odds are against you.

So in the end its up to you to decide if this particular experience is worth the risk.

Answer 4

There's a couple I know that is married and had a couples swing action and guess what. His wife got pregnant as a result and now his wife is carrying his fiends baby.

Seems to me that when one desires more affection than what you have already than what you have is not enough so kick it to the curb and try again till you find a person that fullfills your needs and you fullfill his as well.

Fooling around in todays market of sexual prefference can lead you into a hot tub and in the end you get burnt.

Answer 5

Yes it will eventually as once you consent it will be the first of many occasions. The problem is that although it wont effect your husband in anyway it will make you feel jelous and inadequate when he comments on certain ladies that you have both been with and you will start to feel resentment. I am not going to go into detail but i am going to warn you that going that route could end up in your marriage ending in divorce. Are you willing to take the chance? if not nip it in the bud now! What you two share now should be adequate enough to sustain you both.

Answer 6

I think that fantasies are best left fantasies. How will you feel seeing your hubby pounding some other woman? I know that is crude but that is what you are talking about.

Threesomes and moresomes are good fiction but you don't want the person you love and care about doing those intimate things with anyone else.

Keep your great relationship a twosome and tell him you don't want to share him with anyone else and tell him you don't want anyone else.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I guess the best advice i can offer is for you to think about this question..How will i react seeing my husband have sex with another woman. Will i feel he is giving her more attention than me. This woman that would be the 3rd will be new to both of u...so more than not you will both spend more attention to her. Jealousy can be a nasty animal when 3somes are done

Answer 8

is this to fulfill his fantasy or just to do it because u are bi...either way if you do it, it will jeopardise yo relationship because he might start to prefer other women rather than u and u may feel rejected or the other way round...but if it is something u both want to expirience and u know that u will encounter any problems in the near future...then why not.

good luck!

Answer 9

we have talked about the same thing. we decided to go to topless bar, because i was not sure i could be with a woman,but now i think i could. our relationship at this point is still great. so i think we will try it some day, but we have been married over 20 years.

Answer 10

I haven't been in this situation before; however, from what I've heard from friends, one person always gets jealous. I would that wouldn't happen with your husband or you, but you never know what could happen.

Think about it, have open discussions with him about it, and go from there.