How should I tell my mom that i want to get married?

Question

Hello all,

I am 26 years old, healthy and have a stable job. I have a boyfriend who is also 26, healthy and have a stable job as well.

We have been together for 10 years by next month.

We planned to get married. But my mom against it. The reason is that we have to wait for a couple of years until we are more financially stable so that we are able to provide good quality of life to our children.

I want to get married and i also want my mom to get involve in all the wedding preparation process. I want her to be there, going through all the moments, kind like the mom in the "Father of the Bride".

For me, marriage is once in a life time thing, i love my mom, and i want her to be there to share my happiness.

I thought she has problems accepting that her kids are now grown ups.

And since my mom is not very good at anger management area, does anyone have any idea how i should approach and talk to my mom effectively?

Thank you.

Answer 1

"mom, i want to ge married."

Answer 2

I think 26 year of age is the right time to get married if you two are already financially capable to start a family. It is always difficult for the parent to let go of their children for marriage, but they should realize that this is the normal thing in life. Maybe you need the help of your aunt or someone who is close to your mum to make her understand that you need to leave her to start a family of your own and she can't have you under her wings forever. She will be very selfish not to let you marry. Many young do have your kind of problem too, so in the end the children would just ignore them and marry on their own. Who is at the losing end? The parents. I am not encouraging you to follow this method.

Answer 3

this might nicely be a substantial puzzle to me. how the heck does "your pal" think of that she has a snowball's probability in hell of staying married if she can't even refer to her mom? we could anticipate in basic terms for a 2nd that she might desire to legally get married. If she does not posses the adulthood to a minimum of tell her mom that she is doing this against her desires and could stay devoid of her approval, she does not have the adulthood to be conversing approximately marriage to everyone. Marriage is meant to be a existence long dedication to a individual who will furnish and be a existence companion. That demands verbal substitute and the flexibility to speak approximately some very substantial themes that frequently comprise existence and dying. she will't even tell her mom she is pondering this. that's no longer a sturdy sign. It has no longer something to do with age. It has to do with being an grownup. that factor involves all and sundry at diverse circumstances. Your pal isn't there yet. it's time to go away the infantile desires at the back of , take the fairy tale blinders off and take a puzzling seem on the certainty of her difficulty. i could provide her approximately 5 months married, if that.

Answer 4

Well first of all, wait until your boyfriend proposes to you. If you really do love him say yes. Your mom will be against it at first but she will learn to get used to the idea. And she will be there on your wedding day proud and happy. If she thinks that you don't have enough money for children. Then tell her that you will get married then wait for the right time to have children. If your mom loves you she will be there for you and help you the whole way through. But also do what your heart tells you.

Answer 5

You are old enough to do what you want. Yet, I respect your values, that you want your mom to be involved in the wedding.

Try having a serious discussion with your mom, only both of you. Be professional in your justification. Keep the conversation going even though she may get angry. You hold peace in the way you speak to her. She will eventually relent and come into terms with your wedding.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Who cares about money? You can support yourselves right? That's all that matters right now. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean that you have to rush into having children. I'm getting married, but I'm never going to have children. I don't want them, so I won't have them.

Besides, living together, so being married too, would be a good way to save some money.

Answer 7

The reason your mother is not ready for marriage is not very clear..if she think that you both are together not able to take care of your life and children, when you have them...then I think its your responsibility to make her understand that you both can take the burden..specially about children...even after marriage you can wait for another 2 years to have the children...even if you try to have now..by the time he/she comes..it would be one year and in this time your financial status will definitely be better...
You need to make your mother understand these things...there is no reason that your mother should regret that you are grown up..no parents do that...if you are not sure how to talk to her...ask your boyfriend to talk to her and convice her about these things...ask him to explain your mother in detail your future plans after you get married...there is not reason your mother should say NO afer she is convinced that you both can take care of your things very well...

Wish you all the best for you future and just believe in your self and your mother...she will denitely agree...Cheers :)

Answer 8

mom im getting married.

and be realistic,nobodys mom is like diane keaton in father of the bride.

if you really love your man then you would be willing to pay for it yourself with nobodys help if thats the way it should be.whos more important your man or your mom?
it sounds like youve got your priorities wrong.
if you want a father of the bride moment then you may as well ditch your man and ask your mom to choose you an husband,probably handsome and rich...maybe she could get you prince charming seeing as you both seem to live in fairy tale land!
plenty of people have weddings and kids without money,it depends on their priorities.
if your mom wont support you then you need to tell her that you will do it without her.
who is more important?

Answer 9

You're a typical female who thinks she is gonna have her "Dream Wedding" and live a "fantasy life" with a big house, kids and a white picket fence.

Get real!! Marriage will only ruin the 10 year relationship you have had. Get your head out of the clouds and back down to earth.

Answer 10

I hope you are not living at home.

You are 26. If you have not figured out how to approach mom yet you may never.

Start with " Mom we are getting married. We wish you would participate as mothers should. You can be there and be happy for us or you can stay away. Its your choice."

Answer 11

tread carefully - when my wife and I married, I was 31 - we still asked our parents for permission, we knew it would be hard with my family - we pretty much waited until we had the right moment and then they oked it - they took it back later, but that's tough - they granted permission. We thought it important to get permission, even though we were older.
I don't know why - I think it's important.