why do some couples in Egypt...?

Question

get married a couple of months before wedding night? I think it's called 'Kateb Etab??'

One friend tried explaining to me but I didnt really get it.. Why do you officially get married but not move in together.. and do they sleep together or do they wait for wedding night?

My friend told me that the religious ones dont even touch till wedding night... question is why? if they're already officially married?! I'm clueless!!

Answer 1

Kateb alketab is considered the legal and the religious marriage contract ( but it is taken as a legal promise of marriage ) , some times the couple have to perform it for different reasons before the actual marriage:

1) Family: the Egyptian families are conservatives ;and they will prefer to sign the contract before the actual wedding, to enable the couple to go out and know themselves, they would be real husband and wife, (without actual having sexual relation, so the girl will still be a virgin , that will increase her chances later if divorced to find a new mate ) till they can prepare together the house, furniture …..Other things related to the real marriage (living together),

2) Seriousness in the commitment: it will be difficult for the girl to break the commitment without going to the court, and will be difficult for the man to break it without losing the dowry, let’s say it is more serious booking for the each couple to the other, till they are able for the actual wedding .(till they prepare the necessities like house furnture...etc)

3) Benefits: Egypt was almost a communist country (socialist), to help people who can not afford apartments, there were lots of projects meant for married couple, delevered upon presenting the marriage certificate, they could get apartments, even some furniture items in a subsidized way, ( these projects are still offered,) So the couple have to present the certificate first to get the apartment and then proceed the actual wedding(that can take sometime)

Answer 2

Religiously speaking, the only requirment for an Islamic marriage is the public announcement of that Union, No paper work is required, no ceremonies of any sort are required. And it was like that in the bygone days.

With modern administration some form of documetation had to be introduced, which we call Katb El Kettab. It is usually the civil legal and official paper work involved with the process of marriage, resulting in the issuing of the marriage contract (Its equivalent to civil marriage in the west).

So legally speaking after Katb El kettab the couple are officialy married, But practically speaking a marriage is only completed after El dokhla (where the couple "sleep together") which is usually after a party that have no legal or religious significance whatsoever except as a form of publicly annoucing the marriage as I have explained. It can be skipped all together.

Answer 3

writing the book, signing the contract or katb(writing) elketab(the book) is the official marriage, some have it before the party and doklha (dokhla is when they have sexual encounter) and some have it the same day, it depends on their timetable, where they are having the celebration, if they need to finish off papers bookings etc using the marriage certificate, etc
two people are considered married once they sign the contract and by law they are allowed to sleep together, some wait until the celebration or dokhla, it all depends on their plans

the steps here in egypt are, reading the opening, that is usually done before the engagement, where they read the opening of the koran, like saying these two are meant for one another, the engagement, usually they wear rings on the right hand, some also read the fat7a and wear the rings on the right hand, then with the katb elketab and doklha they switch rings to the left hand

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Hello, just a quick note....hopefully to dispell this myth of 'engagement'....there is no such thing in Islam. The ONLY thing this means is that if a man has proposed to a woman and she is deciding, during this time no other man can propose without the first mans permission or until the lady says no.....once she has accepted, thats all it is. They are still Strangers, they cannot be alone, nothing has changed other than no man may ask her to marry.

Answer 6

In the west, this sounds like eloping, however, it appears this practice you speak of is ...as we say..is really having your cake and eating it too...In America, a marrage license is also needed, legal paperwork for the state, to make the union legal in the public eye, but the religious ceremony is then conducted after...same principles it sounds like.But in eloping, you get no big party, no gifts that are expected. It is all about image.

Answer 7

let me explain to you .

katb el ketab is a relegious cermony . just like going to church.after that you can have the certificate that you are married and this will ease other things after that like staying in an hotel in the wedding night .(we are asked to show the wedding certificate before being in an hotel).
And since what is before katb ketab is not considered a real commitment parents prefer that it to be earlier so it will be ok for their duaghtr to go out with her fiance without constraints.
About sleeping together it is after the wedding in generally.

Answer 8

I want to tell you somethiong this is done in Islam .I think that you are christian. This means that they are married but the wedding is made after the contract.

Answer 9

zoser said it all...can't add to this