I need some adult help here if you..?

Question

First off, I know this isn't the right place but I thought this would be the place I would get the most help. P&S is the best!
My wife's best friend was having a problem with her 20 yr old daughter and my wife went to be there for them. Well I told my mother what was going on, and next time my mom seen the best friend, she asked her how things were. Well, she called my wife screaming and yelling, how come she told me what was going on and all. Well it was my fault my mom found, not my wifes, but she is still made at her for telling me. I felt i had a right to know where my wife was running off too after she got a call from her crying. My mother asked b/c she was worried, they lived nexted to each other years ago. The best friend and I kinda get along, she's not my best friend ya know. But now she called my wife, stating she wants nothing to do with me, calling me an @ss and how she never wants to play cards with us again. We did do that sometimes. my wife said that she was sorry for .

what I did, and the best friend was like why are you sticking up for him, he's just an @ss hole. So my wife hung up the phone, now they are not talking and I want to help them. I have said I was sorry too. but what else can i do? They have been friends for years. My wife says that she don't want to do this right now b/c she know that her friend is under alot of stress. But I can't stop thinking that if they were talking, that my wife could help here in some way.
i'm sorry this is so long. I just need some help to help them. Any ideas?

That's the thing, she never said not to tell, my wife or the best friend.

thanks Mrs Stephens and suz665
my wife is hurting and upset, she she wants to just wait, and if she still is made then she wasn't as close of friends as they thought

Answer 1

I think the friend lost her mind. She waaaaay overreacted. Just stay cool. Don't fan the flames. Obviously she already has issues to deal with.
If she didn't want anyone to know, she should have told your wife. Why does it have to be a big secret? That's weird. Why should you have to have secrets in your family because that's what she does?
Anyway, I'm glad your wife stuck up for you. The friend needs to realize your mum only asked out of concern. Maybe now is not the time for her to have alot of insight.
Just keep everyone calm. Maybe when she's dealt with whatever crisis she's having with her daughter, she'll return to Earth and have a more balanced perspective. Give this one some time. If you still want to be friends with her, let her know that and that you're all pulling for her and cut her lots and lots of slack. Chances are, when all of this blows over and she gets her head back, she'll be giving you an apology.

Answer 2

Sometimes things are meant to be secret even from your mum. Wait until your friend calms down,send an apology note, with a nice bunch of flowers (with your wife knowing, other wise that maybe a divorce with your wife not knowing about the flowers) or you and your wife take them out to tea. Be very genuine with your apology. In time of need best friends are asked to help you are usually very loyal. I also call on my best friends for help, not my family as they like to gossip, they mean well but, i have a few reallies that love to tell everyone. Just be patient until they calm down, The person calling you an *** ( wouldn't expect an apology,just cop it on the chin) was in the heat of the moment, if there is a next time keep it to your self. Good luck

Answer 3

Your wife's friend needs to grow up and your wife needs to tell her that! You have every right to know where your wife is and what is going on. I think you guys shouldn't play card, listen to her problems or answer the phone!

Answer 4

Your mom should't have asked her about the issue. I would have been upset too. I know your mom is precious to you but in this case she made a mistake. I hope your wife's friend gets over it though. Life is too short to hold a grudge.

Answer 5

well first of all, i dont think it is reasonable that your wifes best friend is mad for her telling you. you are her husband, and husband and wife share everything..that is normal..it is expected..maybe you shouldnt have told your mother...or at least told her not to talk to the best friend about it..but u should call her up and apologize to her about telling your mother but your wife should try to explain to her that you are your husband and it is in fact not normal for her to be hiding things from you..whatever it is..

Answer 6

Give everyone time to cool down, your wife's friend will get over it. If not, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with.

Answer 7

but your wife didn't tell you to keep it to yourself did she...??
JUST wait for things to cool down its nno big deal..Anyway as if a wife wouldn't tell her husband this...I think the the Friend over reacted.


no problem ,let us know the out come..if she is a freind she should understand,and also realise your mum was just concerned

Answer 8

Maybe b/c the friend told ur wife "tell no one" and now your mother is in there business. and you know how people love to talk.
Example : YOU

Answer 9

and she was ur friend? that was wrong, i would find u someone else to play cards with. u dont need that!!! there r better friends out there. keep ur chin up and dont worry about her. its only bothering u now because it recently happened. tell her that life goes on.

Answer 10

first off, go back to paragraph 1, re-read, apply. second, that is way too long for the average P&S user to devote attention to.