Help me please! 10pts. to the best answer!?

Question

I need to talk to a friend who I haven't spoken to since December, because I got upset with something she did and how she acted. I never told her I was upset..I assumed she knew. But we only chat via technology since we live in different states. I want to talk with her via aim, about the incident and tell her that she made me upset, but how do I tell her without being clumsy--I guess I could get straight to the point, but I need a tactful way of going about the issue, so she can realize why I haven't spoken to her-she thinks I'm busy etc. Or should I just let it go, since she hasn't even made an attempt back?..*I just feel like I should tell her why I was mad and see if she even gives a damn-then I'll know she is a true friend etc. What do you think..? Should I beat around the bush and break it to her easily or say it flat out?..

Answer 1

you need to tell her how you feel. beating around the bush will not do anything! i had this happen to me too. i felt so guilty for it because i didn't do anything and lost a friend. luckily she "took me back." you need to IM her (phone if you can.) and say
"_____(insert name here), i know we haven't spoken in a while, and its my fault, but i want to tell you why. " go into the reason why you were upset in the first place, thoroughly, so she understands completely why you were upset. explain why you said you were busy and couldn't keep in touch with her. get everything out in the air. if you want to keep her as a friend, you need to be honest and open. if she cares enough to let you back into her life, she's a true friend. if not, she's not worth it. atleast you were a better person for being honest and she can't even accept it.
hope i helped! good luck

Answer 2

There are two reasons not to carry a grudge. They're heavy and they don't have handles.
Let's see if I have this right. It's been 8-9 months since you got upset about something. You didn't tell her you're upset and she didn't and still doesn't know it. Don't you just hate it when someone like her can't read your mind and everyone else you know can?
But you've continued to communicate via e-mail. And you have never, in all this time, told her how you felt. It seems like you have a real need for her to know what a jerk she was and for her to apologize to you over something so long ago and something that obviously wasn't as important to her as it was to you.
Truthfully, I think for you to bring it up to her at this late date would just make you look kind of childish not to mention odd that you've let all this time go by without talking to her about it.
BUT.....if you REALLY, REALLY, REALLY have to tell her about it, do it in a light hearted way, a silly way, a way that won't end your relationship with her. Write her and say something along these lines: dear xxx, I have to tell you how silly I've been lately. You probably don't even remember and I didn't tell you at the time but it's kind of stuck in my mind all this time and I think maybe if I tell you I can stop thinking about it and one day we can laugh about it. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.
Remember.............. then tell her about the incident. Try not to use accusatory words, such as, you hurt my feelings really bad. Instead say, my feelings were hurt because of it and I know you would never, ever deliberately hurt me. Isn't this the silliest thing you've ever heard? Anyway, I'm glad we're still friends and I'm glad this thing that occurred hasn't interfered with our friendship.
This will allow her to come back and say - OMG, I had no idea, I would NEVER EVER hurt you or do or say anything that would hurt you. I'm sorry it's bothered you all this time and I wish you'd told me sooner.....or something along those lines. Then you've accomplished what you need, she will know and certainly apologize.
Or she might say --- what? Are you nuts? You've been holding on to this all this time?
or something similar.
Is there any chance you can let go of this on your own without telling her? Because truthfully I think that's what you should do.
And I hope you two will still be friends afterwards.

Answer 3

Listen, I don't wanna tell you what to do or anything but m best suggestion is to talk to her. I recently got into an arguement w/ a friend and I just broke down. I told her I couldn't talk to her and I wasnt sure if she knew I was upset. But I slept on it for a night then the next morning I woke up and calmy talked it out with her via aim. If I were you I would get a hold of her someway and let her know that you felt upset by what had happened and explain to her how you felt. And make sure you let her know that you stopped communicating with her for a while because you had to stop and cool off. So your best bet is to make sure you are ready and try and talk it out with her and see why she acted the way she did and why it never came across her mind to check with you and see how you felt with the incident.

I hope I help you =]

Answer 4

call and just bring up like ask her if she know what happen back in december if she play it off just kindly tell her what happen and what she did let her know how much she upset you.and if she make a big issue out of it and try to through back in your lap then you will know she knows she was in the wrong.then let it go she wasnt a very good friend after all and you dont need friends like that.tell yiu havent been that busy you just was upset and you need to let her know why!! if you dont this will eat you up in side better to get out in the open.and settle once in for all. then you can go on with your life.good luck.

Answer 5

if u dont wanna b clumsy maybe u can write out ur main points or watever on paper so u know what u wanna talk about. and if u guys are friends dont be shy. it'll just make it worse if u ignore it because it will build up inside. juss tell her "hey i been meaning to talk to u aobut something.... its bothered me for some time now." if u guys are real friends, gettin through this will get u closer since u guys will share feelings. if not... then maybe u guys arent as good as u think.

Answer 6

If she's your real, true friend you'll be able to talk to her straight out. Just let her know, and she should understand. If she doesn't, you don't talk to her now and you're doing fine, just go back to the way things have been these past 8 months and nothing's going to change!
IF she understands, then you have your friend back!

Answer 7

just give it to her jently, like, what you did alongtime ago... do u think that im mad at you? if u wanna lie then go aheadand lie if u want oyur friend dship to keep on going but if u dont wanna lie then say, well i was mad fora while but thats all in my past compleetley and i still wanna be friends... so r we???

Answer 8

Just get a hold of her and make up. True friends will appreciate that, and maybe by you apologizing, she will as well.

Answer 9

Let it go! In the grand scheme of things it probably rates a minus 2....


It's your problem not her's.

Answer 10

hi flygrl16!..
know wat?ive been from dat kinda problem..all i did was..tellin my friend wats in my mind..in a courteous manner of course..juz be frank to her..tell her wats in ur mind and in ur heart..tell her anything..so, goodluck gurl!!