He asked me to go with him to an attorney for collaborative mediation. He is depositing his checks into a separate checking account now, but says he will put enough money into our joint checking to cover bills. He told me to take him off of all the credit cards (he's only an authorized user).
Why would he do this, but continue to live in the same manner as before?
2007-08-15 18:40:55 · 19 answers · asked by I do 26.2 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No hanky panky going on (it's been 3 months now), and no children.
2007-08-15 19:02:35 · update #1
Well my first question is do you have a spare room? I am a Legal Assistant for a family law firm in Woodland, California. I would not sleep in the same bed with him, I would sleep on the floor first. Don't waste your money or time and energy on going to a collaborative mediator...you both just should get separate attorneys to help you. As long as he is helping you with the house bills that's a good thing a lot of guys don't even do that. And the credit card thing is okay if he is asking you. In California you really are not supposed to go changing things, but then neither one of you has filed any papers yet. Some people think that if you leave the house you have less rights to it, that's not true where I live, but that might be what hes thinking. He may be trying to drive you mad so that you can't take it and you leave. Good Luck to you..
2007-08-15 18:51:51 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sis, have you got some problems. Reality check, here! In this order, get a temporary restraining order at your local police station/court, change the locks and security codes, cancel ALL credit cards, and move his crap out of the house. If he wants a divorce, he needs to be a man and move out. If you are unsure you want the divorce, then mediation is the way to go. Somebody isn't being truthful here, and I can only imagine why he wants to sleep in the same bed--"friends with benefits". Wake up, and get your head on straight! This guy is about to financially ruin you, if no emotionally ruin you. I pray there are no children involved. Seek an Attorney as soon as possible!! Best of luck to you.
2007-08-15 18:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by blackmask278 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work for a lawyer and many couples when they first split up live seperately under the same roof, gives them a chance to find other accommodation or sort things out. However if you are sleeping in the same bed than that's not really seperate is it? Ask him what his intentions are. Tell him that if he really wants a divorce then he needs to remove himself from your life and your bed. If you don't want to try and work it out, kick him out or leave and get advice from a lawyer.
2007-08-15 18:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look out your going to loose everything unless you get abit more wiser about whats actually going down. He is slowly trying to oust you out of the home by staying there and sleeping in the same bed and hoping you will get the sh%ts and leave. What ever you do, don't leave first and leave him with the house, because as it stands you are entitled to half.
I suggest you too open another bank account and start putting abit away in it for further on down the track.
2007-08-15 18:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry, because I know what you're wanting to hear is that he must still care about you, maybe he's confused, etc. Sorry, the rest of them are right. He has probably been told by friends to stay there or he might be considered "abandoning" the house/kids. You have strength and I pray you find it, my sister. Good luck
2007-08-15 19:12:00 · answer #5 · answered by chester.brandon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You move out and go file for divorce and don't take him off the credit cards. Get every thing you can out of him. Don't sleep with him anymore. He will have to split the checking account even if it isn't in his name. Talk to an attorney ASAP.
2007-08-15 18:47:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to take some action, stop sleeping in the same bed as he is, sleep on the couch. He is right, get his name off your credit cards, focus on the future and creating a life separate from him. Sounds like he may not have the funds to move out. But it is something one of you need to do.
2007-08-15 18:54:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can only do what you let him, and it sounds like he's walking all over you. You need to put your foot down, and tell him that he can't demand such a change, yet expect everything else to be the same.
2007-08-15 18:49:56 · answer #8 · answered by LunaRossa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, it sounds like he's trying to cut all attachments he has with you, but he still wants the benefit of having somewhere to crash at night.
I would personally tell him that if he's serious about the divorce, he needs to be serious about getting on with his life, and letting you get on with yours.
2007-08-15 18:54:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY DOES THE MAN ALWAYS HAVE TO LEAVE. Women today want equal pay, equal rights but F### me silly they dont want to leave. You got a job? Go get you your own place. Lets see you stand on your own feet stop having to lean on a man. Now for all the other women start the flames but see just how many women have REALLY done this. There are a few and they get a big hand for that from me, but to the ladies that sit and BIT## and do nothing go jump!
2007-08-16 04:39:02 · answer #10 · answered by tweedyboyd 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋