Recently my boyfriend always want me to change some of my character & behavior that he don't like to see after we have been together for 1 year ++. I love him and I try to change some of them that i feel will good to me. I love him and that's why I always ask him to be himself. I feel hard & pressure to change and I've told him, but he is thinking i'm giving the excuse to myself.
Ladies & Gentlemen, would you ask your partner to change from time to time?? Or should we accept everything of our partner as long as he / she being himself / herself??
What is your opinion / comment on the statement of " Beautiful is being Natural" ??
2007-08-15 17:51:47 · 18 answers · asked by Junie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Generally speaking - as individuals grow and change, they do sometimes ask changes of their loved ones because they are changing themselves..... This does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. Growing together can bring new experiences and new opportunities for togetherness.
However, changes that belittle the partner, that demean the partner or that make the partner uncomfortable can become a turning point in the relationship, often making the partnership start to die.
Overall - people change as they grow. Couple should accept change and recognize it as it happens. But - not all change is positive change, so when the change compromises a person as a whole, then it is time to start drawing lines.
2007-08-15 18:00:30 · answer #1 · answered by Answer Queen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it really depends on what kind of changes he's suggesting..... it could be seen as constructive criticism if it would genuinely better you as a person, but if he's criticising aspects of your personality that you like or that you never thought were problems, then i'd get out of there while i can cos he'll only keep putting you down for the rest of your life! Some guys just need to be top dog in a relationship and will kill their partners self esteem to make sure of it. If he's only suggesting that a certain hair style would suit or that you should wear a certain outfit more often, then that wouldnt bother me, it shows he cares and wants to show you off.
I do think that if he's suggesting things you find hard to accept, firstly ask yourself if he has a point suggesting them and secondly, does he compliment you too? If he does, then he still likes you but just wants to change something.
Or maybe you should give him a taste of his own medicine!
Its hard to tell without knowing you and what he's suggesting to be honest. But i hope you get to the bottom of it!
2007-08-16 01:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by styroprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Junie,
I have been with my 'partner' for 42 years, and in every day of those years together, we have never needed to change a single thing, and we get on like a house on fire, and that blaze is still burning very lively indeed today... We have always been ourselves with and for eachother, and maybe we are the exception that proves the golden rule, that an eye for an eye only leads to a world full of blindness, then onto if you are not happy in your relationship, try to see who and where it's all going wrong for you both, and if it needs changing, then it may well need changing in it's content as a whole, and you will need to begin thinking about finding a way out of this relationship, don't be down-hearted Junie, you are wsorth better than you have to ask the whole world to help you, we are the whole world, and in my part of it, I wouldn't change one spot blemish or characteristic about my wife, because when I tell her I love her, she KNOWS, I MEAN IT. and responds with I love you too, so are we happy, Junie, you can bet your shoes we are...Good Luck honey, bye..Tony..m
2007-08-16 03:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by tony m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one has met the person that was everything they were looking for in their "mate". No one is perfect. Sure id ask them to change a few things but it all depends on what it is.
If he needs to be less selfish, more considerate or something along those lines that benifited him in the long run Id tell him. But if it was something like... he jokes around too much or he's too serious, I woudlnt. Thats just how he is and I accept that in him. if it bothers me then he's not really the one.
My opinion on Beautiful is being natural. I think its a beautiful statement. Its kind of like another way of saying accept me for me. Im not gonna put on another face to make you happy. Take me as I am.
2007-08-16 01:14:05 · answer #4 · answered by Aisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At times it is difficult to hear critisms from the ones you love. If suggestions are given all the time for you to change and you know that they really don't hold any meat then don't listen. You will basically have to tell him to back off and take you the way you are esp. if you are honest, respectful, etc. or perhaps you both need a break from each other to see if this realationship should continue (could you do this?) But keep in mind for example, you yell alot then that would be a good cue to listen and take notes how to change it.
2007-08-16 00:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by Izzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on what he is trying to change in you. If it is something that could be harmful or bad for you then he may be doing it for the right reasons because he loves you and doesn't want to see you get hurt.
However, if he is just trying to change your personality or there are petty habits you have that he doesn't like then I don't think that's acceptable because that is what makes you, you.
Although also there are some habits that my husband and I have changed because we love one another and want to do these things for them. But I am talking of things like putting things in the dishwasher after you've used them and not on the side - not specific things about his character or personality.
2007-08-16 04:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by *Sparki* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he`d accept you as you are and never you ask you to change anything about yourself how ever little if he really loves you and same for any relationship as time goes by and want to be with and love that person you should execpt and ignore all the little faults but let them know if there`s something that theres something wrong with what there doing and if they want you to keep changing things about your personallity or looks then the relationship will never last
2007-08-16 10:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by the orical 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate it when he bites his nails, cuts his hair too short and dresses stupid.. I just want him to look good.
Some girls really do go over board with the makeup and hair dye. While we may not be able to get away with out our mascara, if he thinks you look like a clown maybe you should tone it down.
Get a professional make over.
Natural may sound nice, but I am all for grooming and no way would I not shave.
2007-08-16 00:57:12 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, why should you change! You was like that before the both of you got to gather. Just be your self, he will find out the hard way like i did. i tried to change my girlfriend an know she is my ex now.
2007-08-16 01:13:52 · answer #9 · answered by Cedric B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends...if he wants you to change for your good, why not try to change? he just want the best for you and because he loves you he wants you to be a better person. but if you think that his reasons for you to change are not acceptable then tell him...why he cant just accept and love your imperfections?
and you cant just accept your bf for he is because you love him.You love him so help him to be a better person. If you see something wrong with him then try to change him too...but you cant force him to change...it should be his decision wether to change or not...youre just there to help him...and vice versa...
i changed my bf a lot, he changed me a lot too...physically and emotionally...
2007-08-16 01:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋