She yells at me and says I think I know everything. I don't think that. I actually think I'm quite stupid at times. She gets mad at me and calls me an idiot. When I try to tell her to stop she just dismisses me and she'd stop me from telling her how this makes me feel. She accuses me of things all the time that aren't true, like things I think. she says I'm gonna have a hard life because I don't like certain people. well they're the ones who have verbally harassed me and one has made sexual comments to me before so I'm not supposed to like them. she's the one making my life hard at the moment. It's not like this all the time, but every now and then there'll be an evening or a couple weeks that she's like this. I just can't stand it and I don't know what to do. Please help.
2007-08-15 14:57:40 · 10 answers · asked by 77684 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
communication is key - what is it that could be triggering this behavior? you may have to be the adult in that relationship and try to pull out what's going wrong - good luck
2007-08-23 14:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by Big Buddy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there are several issues here. First of all, it is not uncommon for teenage girls (I'm assuming you are a teenage girl) to have conflicts with their mothers. Many psychologists have identifed this as a common situation that occurs between some mothers and teenage daughters. Even though they love each other, the friction between them can generate a lot of heat. It probably results from a phenomenon that has been called "two women in the kitchen" -- a kind of natural competitiveness that occurs between females in the family. It can also be caused by a mother's inability to cope with a difficult and antagonistic kid, or a mother's inability to communicate her feelings in an appropriate way. Whatever the source, it can make life unpleasant for several years. That may be what you and your Mom are experiencing at this time.
Now regarding your comments about a person who has made sexual comments to you, I would advise you relay this back to your mother. If you have already and/or if she does not listen to you, I would recommend you talk to another trusted adult, such as a church or school counselor, about this situation.
In light of your entire situation, I congratulate you for reaching out for answers and clearly communicating this problem that is going on in your life. At this point, I would recommend you pray to God to help you and your family in this situation. With God all things are possible. Here's some links to help you:
http://www.harvest.org/knowgod/
http://www.intouch.org/site/c.dhKHIXPKIuE/b.2406769/apps/s/content.asp?ct=3401119
2007-08-18 02:51:25 · answer #2 · answered by Elaine C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how you feel about trying to get away from your mother. My mother was like that. She said I was a damn idiot, useless, wished I'd never been born, slapped me around for nothing, and beat me for smoking cigarettes when I was 12. I got tired of that and started smoking just to piss her off. Make sure you know this. God doesn't make any mistakes. You are a beautiful person that should have love in your life. You deserve it. I think your are smart, aware, and going places. Get away as soon as you can before she has you so depressed you want to slit your throat. I joined the Navy at 18. Now, my mother lives in Texas. I am on the east coast. She always calls me and wants me to move to Texas and take care of her. Not on your life.
2007-08-23 12:40:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Print out your question that I am answering and leave it someplace where she will find it when you are not home. That should explain everything to her that you are concerned about. If she still gets mad, then show it to a school psychologist or guidance counselor. She may get a call and then realize how dumb she is acting.
There is a book called "How to talk so your child will listen and listen so your child will talk". Get a copy from a library and leave that for her too.
2007-08-22 19:15:04 · answer #4 · answered by MancalledDad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom did the same thing and it was actually all the time and worse things were said. I don' want the relationship you and your mother have to be like me and my mother but there comes a time when you have to ignore her and do what makes you happy. mothe are not always that understanding and they do believe that they know most or everything. ignore what she says and if you need to leave find a safe haven for you or someone you can talk to. its better not to hold it in because mental damage stays with you for life. believe me!
2007-08-21 02:41:55 · answer #5 · answered by beautifull103087 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find a hobbie that consumes all your time( activity clubs, sports etc) and makes you never home. Then she'll have nothing to say cause your never home. I did it in high school. My mother was the same, so i became very involved with high school judo, it took all my time up and it was healthy. Not to mention by senior year i was captain for both guys and girls
2007-08-23 12:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When she does get like this, think of her being in her evil side - could be hormonal, she could be bipolar and she's in her depressive mode but most importantly - don't take her words to heart - learn to let them bounce off you like water on hot Teflon. Whatever SHE thinks about you is less critical than what YOU think about you. You know yourself better than anyone else possibly could - keep that as your strength.
2007-08-15 15:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
every mother and daughter have their issues...what you have to look at is if these comments are interuppting your life on a daily basis...10% of life is what happens to us and 90% is how we CHOOSE to deal with it. I would say to you to please look at her as a person sometimes with issues and not so much as a mom that you need constant approval from...maybe then you can see some instances of how you may be able to deal with her on another level..anyways..hope i helped a little...
2007-08-23 14:22:39 · answer #8 · answered by heather 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you could leave and go into foster care it wouldn't be too hard just call the school and tell them you are afraid and stuff and let them know what she does that is abuse and leave it will be hard but sure you can make it.
2007-08-21 14:09:13 · answer #9 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
does it happen around the time of her monthly? maybe it's hormones.....she needs to allow you to respond to her, she shouldn't call you names.....don't let the name calling make you feel like an idiot........ maybe she needs meds for "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH"
2007-08-23 12:51:30 · answer #10 · answered by cherokee squaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋