Been divorced for 2 years. Still miss my ex even after I found out she was having an affair after my divorce. We have not had any communication for about 1 1/2. Would like to possibly talk but I dont know what to do.
2007-08-15 13:26:45 · 50 answers · asked by Joseph49 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't get back in it for any reason, you got out of it for a reason, or reasons. Meet someone new, and start new. Of course you miss her, you were married.
2007-08-15 13:29:41 · answer #1 · answered by WE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your ex have that other girls DON'T have???? Why??? What's wrong with you??? Get help if you can't accept that you are "divorced". What part of that don't you understand? I am sure she don't want you back or she would not have had an affair in the first place... Leave it alone and save yourself the BIG HUGE heartache... What if she brings you down even more or hurts you more emotionally? Don't pull the scab of the healed wound.... Remember how the pain felt when you found out she cheated? And when you actually signed the divorce papers? "PAIN" Yup, those feelings will return but it will feel worst then the first time. What you need to hear her say, "I moved on, leave me alone?" Why don't you date other woman and show her you don't need her anymore. Do things with the guys and hang out. Come on, be man enough and take it as it is like the day you accepted your divorce... IT'S BEEN OVER!!!! ACCEPT IT!!!
2007-08-15 13:44:24 · answer #2 · answered by Nativebeauty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't bother. It won't change anything and all you'll end up doing is making an idiot of yourself (tried using the other word on here before, but it got starred out)
I know the hurt. Been there, done that, and she's moved on, so should you.
If it makes you feel any better... for a chuckle... my ex's "fire girl" dumped him when he didn't get 'all' of my assets in the divorce. He then turned to some other young'un and knocked her up... she didn't want to hear from him unless 'child support check is in the mail' was in the sentence. His next wife made such a mess of the business website that I emailed all the errors, but it was no use. He just got stoopid.
I guess I'm better off, even though I still have memories of the good times.
Go to a dating site and have fun... you'll at least only be on the hook for dinner or lunch and maybe you'll find someone that's worthy of your attention.
2007-08-23 07:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and break the ice. What's the worst that can happen? Think about it. My ex and I started emailing each other just 2 months ago and we have been divorced (a bitter divorce!) for over 5 years. It was good to hear from him (he broke the ice and sent me an email) because I have never stopped thinking about him and how his family is doing, etc. So, now we email each other at least once a month to stay caught up.
2007-08-23 05:31:42 · answer #4 · answered by makeloans2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you have divorced your wife, she is free to see anyone she like, that is not call affair anymore. There is nothing to stop you from communicated with her. Who knows you two might end up loving each other again. Old flame does not die easily, after all you two have been share the bed for a period of time. It is difficult to forget actually. the heart is still burning. You should not have problem talking to her, how did you talk to her when you were married? You are no more a child.
2007-08-19 20:41:01 · answer #5 · answered by mako 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a sticky one. You need to find out more information. Talk to people that hang out with her or see her. Find out her situation. I don't mean stalk her, just get others opinion on how she is doing, what she is thinking, who she is seeing. Has she moved on and is now in a serious relationship with someone else, or is she sitting home alone at night
You may be able to casually just "happen" to run into her. You could always just remember her birthday and send a nice card with a very Short note. I've grown up. I still love you. Call sometime if you want to....then your phone number. Leave it up to her. Then try to keep dating. Nothing helps your grief after you old dog dies like a cute little puppy...get it? Nothing helps the blues like a new girlfriend!
Good Luck
2007-08-23 08:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by BIG BEN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not go to talk to her, she has not changed and she does not seem to miss you. Yes, you miss her, because you loved her once. You call it 'your divorce', well it was HER divorce also and you have no real hold on her having affairs. However, dont try to dig up and old horse, the world is full of women who need a guy to take care of them like you.
2007-08-21 06:22:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind if she has moved on, so should you. You are probably willing to walk away from the pain easier than the pleasure. Make a list of what you want in that relationship that wouldn't be clouded by old wounds and evaluate if it is even possible to salvage enough to make it work. If the positives greatly outweigh the negatives go for it. Keep in mind, however, you got divorced for a reason, what makes you think that reason no longer exists?
2007-08-15 13:43:00 · answer #8 · answered by Lou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think you should...My exhusband hasn't said one word to me..in approx. 2 and half years. I see him physically when he picks up the kids but his new wife does all the talking. Its too bad that he can't be atleast civil with me because I adore his wife. Her and I could be great friends. From my point, my ex and I could be around each other as friends and we have even tried it and taken the kids places way back when but he never recovered properly from me leaving him. I completely understand where he is coming from but it would be nice to know...that now he has a new wife and another child from her and a new life...that even though he was wounded..He recovered and understands he has a life to live and holding a grude or staying inslience only hurts our enjoyment of our kids that we share.
Yes..is my answer...Just say..Hi or email..and ask..how are you doing? Start small. Time will heal all wounds. Maybe you just need the time away from her for both of you to restart your lives. Don't let the past stand in your way of being a kind person.
2007-08-23 08:38:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you haven't gotten over her even though you've been divorced for two years. I think you can re-establish communication at some point but not now. You need to get on with your own life, meet other people and get involved in a new relationship of your own. When you no longer have feelings for her, that is the time to re-establish communication with her. Don't do it now.
2007-08-22 02:44:03 · answer #10 · answered by aja5505 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to talk to her, that probably means you still are hung up on her. Maybe you are fooling yourself and remembering things with her as better than they actually were - don't forget, you are guys are divorced for a reason.
I think if you were well and truly over her, she'd barely even enter your thoughts, and you certainly wouldn't have a desire to contact her.
One thing that has helped me in the past to move on from an ex... write your ex's name on a piece of paper. Tear it up in to tiny little pieces and as you do so, think about all the emotions and feelings you have for her. Then throw those tiny pieces of paper in the toilet and watch them disappear as you flush the toilet.
Now go out and find yourself a great, fun, positive woman. Don't think about long-term, just think about having fun right now.
2007-08-22 15:43:26 · answer #11 · answered by Lula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋