I just want to know if I'm being too untrustful or not. My hubby works an hour and a half away for a company that's based 4 hours away. There is a secretary at the base who does his expence reports and the like. I know they chit-chat and he says it's "completely professional", but I have my doubts. Why? Because we met up with the "base people" and had a closing dinner. She was the only one he didn't introduce me to. I had to ask him to introduce us. And she avoided him all night. That's fine, but when she did talk to us, she only looked at him. Then today I see that he deleted some "sent" emails to her. I'm just wondering, If this guy is saying he has nothing to hide and gets so upset when I bring it up, then why is he deleting his emails? Is something up or am I just blowing this way out porportion?
I would prefer a guy's point of view, but I welcome any help!
2007-08-15 11:50:28 · 23 answers · asked by boogers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's possible you're over-reacting. It's possible you're reading signs that aren't there. It's possible this is your own insecurity, not his infidelity. It's also possible you're reading everything right; you just don't want to believe what you're seeing. Reagan once said "Trust, but verify".
One day my wife asked for my yahoo password. She didn't say why and I didn't ask. I just gave it to her. It's been about 4 years now. I have no idea if she's used it or not. Neither do I care. I have nothing to hide, and she has nothing to fear. If this is the limit of her insecurity, fine. I'm happy to cater to it.
Knowledge is power. You need to know. Buy a keylogger program (they're cheap, inobtrusive and impossible to discover unless you know exactly what you're doing). Read his e-mails, and hers to him. Learn. Know. If it's nothing, delete the keylogger and trust your husband more. If it's something, well, at least you know.
2007-08-15 12:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by antirion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know he deleted emails sent to her? If they were in his trash folder, then you would have still been able to read them. Did you read them? Were they of sexual nature, or professional. Maybe he deleted them because they were not important and didnt want/need to keep them. I do that at work all the time, I only keep the important emails. Something could be going on, but I dont see it.......but like I said, I would like to know the nature of those emails. If you know he deleted them, then you more than likely had the chance to read them. The other stuff I dont see a concern for.
2007-08-15 12:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your gut. It will tell you. It's anticipation you are feeling it's the thought way in the back of your head that the one you love might be a cheater. That is nerve racking because you 'feel' it might be happening but you only have odds & ends and an active imagination.
So now you have to get to the bottom. I'm not so sure if snopping is the way to go but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Good luck
2007-08-15 12:20:31 · answer #3 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's deleting his emails because he has something to hide. If nothing was going on between the two of them, he would not have had a problem with introducing you to her. Innocent people just don't behave in this way.
2007-08-15 12:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Way out of porportion.
There - you now have a guys point of view. If she was into him or cheating with him - she would have likely been hanging around the two of you all night and "protecting" her turf.
So you had to ask to be introduced to her. She avoided you guys and when you did talk she looked only at him? Doesn't sound like a girlfriend type.
Besides if he WAS cheating w/ her - do you honestly THINK he'd be stupid enough to be sending her e-mails on an account YOU have access to?
He'd use an unknown yahoo / hotmail gmail account that you don't know the user ID or password to.
2007-08-15 11:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by aa889d 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is deleting his sent emails because he knows you don't trust him and you are snooping through his stuff. You cannot just assume because then you just get more and more paranoid and trust him less and less and you will push him to go out and cheat on you if he hasn't already.
If you have concrete evidence that he has cheated or has something going on with this girl, then leave him because once a cheater always a cheater.
Good luck!!
2007-08-15 11:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the fact that your husband felt the need to justify the relationship by saying it's "completely professional" is worrisome, unless you were accusing him. It does sound a little strange. Were these "sent" emails on the home computer?? He should not be communicating with her outside of the office. I think you know whether or not something is up.
2007-08-15 12:04:33 · answer #7 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are on here asking us our opinions, you already know the answer, you're just looking for confirmation...from a guy's point of view the whole thing could be completely innocent and he feels like you already don't trust him and he didn't want to make a mountain out of a mole hill(which I believe is the correct phrase;) ) so he and she went overboard to prove to you there is nothing going on...however, after you mention the emails things don't look so innocent to me...time for a sit down with your spouse to get the whole story, after which the next step is up to you.
2007-08-15 12:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by knarfwiz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring up all these points to him. Tell him they are making you suspicious of him. Ask him point blank "What is going on and don't lie, because if there is another HINT of suspicion with this woman, I will divorce you and you will be so poor you won't have food stamps!"
Call the show "cheaters"
2007-08-15 12:05:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband worked with women persons (in my view they have been very grotesque women persons yet i assume while it is composed of an affair it doesnt fairly count extensive style.) yet i began out to get kinda suspicious after his business enterprise Christmas occasion. between the ladies persons there did her terrific to dodge me in any respect expenses. Then while her and that i've got been finally presented she acted like I didnt even exist and basically spoke to my husband. So I didnt pass complete fledged on the quest yet did take word to convey issues and one evening his telephone went off at like 3 am on a saturday, there replaced right into a text fabric she had sent(below a adult men alias) him going incredibly intimately approximately what she wanted to do to him at artwork on monday! study the deleted messages yet be arranged for what's probable in them. have confidence your gut honey!
2016-10-15 11:34:22 · answer #10 · answered by courts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋