Right now they are having some problems,.. I know its ok to for couples to fight and what not (to straighten thing out) ,..But Is it ok, for me (his best friend) to tell him that she no good for him,.. I dont hate her, she a really nice person, but that’s all she is,.. And i have a feeling that’s he’s not happy.
As a friend, Am I only supposed to listen to his problems or can i tell him what i think of her and that he deserved better?
Thanks
2007-08-15 10:17:15 · 23 answers · asked by a Friend 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
~Honesty is definetly the way to go
Just don't rip on her or anything cause if they get back together things could get akward
2007-08-15 10:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by IDKthat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT tell him that she is no good for him. Presume they'll get back together, and say whatever you want to say with this in mind. So in other words, don't say anything that you wouldn't be happy for her to hear. So you could say that she's very nice, but you're not sure whether they're totally compatible. People can be incompatible without there being anything wrong with either of them, so keep any comments related to their compatibility, not about the qualities of either of them as people.
You may be able to prod him with some questions, like "Are you happy? Is this how you imagined a great relationship would feel? Do you see yourselves growing old together?" These questions may lead him in certain directions, but I absolutely would NOT attack her as a person, or tell him that he should break up with her (or stay with her) - that's his decision.
And lose the "deserve better" vocabulary right out of things - he may deserve a higher quality relationship, but that might even mean with his current girlfriend - make it about the RELATIONSHIP not the PERSON. Sorry if I'm being repetitive, want to make the point as many ways as I can ; )
Good luck with this delicate situation!
2007-08-15 10:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by ozperp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long has your friend been with her? Many times when we share our feelings with a friend it's simply because we want someone to listen to us and express how we feel being that our mate is likely not to agree. Overall, it's best not to get involved especially if they have a back and forth relationship. Just listen to him and be there if they are not meant for each other, life will takes its course and he will find the right person but until then I just suggest you don’t say mean things about her b/c this could only put you in the middle of things. Good Luck ;o)
2007-08-15 10:44:26 · answer #3 · answered by Diva1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you think in a very nice way, but he has to make his choices, don't try to sway him, it could cause resent later. Don't say anything about her that you would not say to her face either. If he likes her than you need to accept that, even if you think she is not good for him. It is his choice who he has feelings for, so you should try to get along with her and be supportive and listen and be there if he ever falls, thats what friends are for. Don't really give deep advice unless he asks and you have more information or experience then he.
2007-08-15 10:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As his friend, you have a responsibility to him. You know him very well and you care about him. It is your obligation to let him know that you don't think that he is happy and perhaps he will go into the reason why. Sometimes, we have clouds in front of our eyes when it comes to certain things and can't see clearly until it is too late or a true friend points out that we are heading in the wrong direction. Now, you just need to decide what kind of friend you are to him and go from there. I wish you luck!
2007-08-15 10:27:08 · answer #5 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a friend you're obligated to tell the truth. Wouldn't you want your friend to do the same for you? I believe that your friend would appreciate you more if you let him know how you truly felt and why you feel that way. Don't worry about it. Just tell him and pray that everything works out!
2007-08-15 10:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Proverbs31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can talk to him and feel him out, ask if he's happy. If not say you like her as a person, but they don't always seem to be a great match for whatever reason. As long as you aren't disrespectful to her, he'll appreciate...even if they stay together. Don't bash her though, cus if they stay together it could backfire on you.
2007-08-15 10:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by thedude 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you have a feeling he is not happy, does not give you the right to say anything else about it. If he comes to you and says he needs help then you can tell hin how you feel.
2007-08-15 10:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Girl Rylin 5/3/08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends help friends at all cost. If you're his best friend then that means he'll respect your opinion: Tell him what you think of her, he probable know a lot about her. So I bet he know what you have to say...start talking,after you listen.
2007-08-15 10:29:17 · answer #9 · answered by candy c 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a great friend and keep him as a friend and just listen. He is venting, but if you say anything bad about her, you may loose him as a friend. Be there to support him in whatever decision he makes, but stay out of it. I understand you are only trying to help your friend, but trust me on this.
2007-08-15 10:22:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thin ice... don't come out and SAY that you think he deserves better. Instead, point out her downfalls tactfully, emphasizing that other women out there could have these qualities. But in the end, if he reconciles and spends his life with her, you HAVE to support it.
2007-08-15 10:21:23 · answer #11 · answered by THE QUEEN B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋