How do you feel about Interracial Marriages, and the children subsequently had?

Question

I've been reading a lot on various sights about how interracial relationships can't work and how the children in interracial relationships struggle with their identites. I think that's BS!!! My fiance` and I are of different ethnicities and have no significant problems or differing opinions. We've come from different backgrounds, she is fairly wealthy and I've grown up poor most of my life, yet we are in perfect harmony. It is both foolish and ignorate to say that a marriage can't work because of race, it won't work because of the reasons any marriage won't work. And as far as kids go, kids with both parents the same race struggle with identity crisis, too, most teens do. You're identity does not have to be defined by your race, it was something that I struggled with in High School. Being an African-American, I was expected to wear baggie pants, and use slang terms and foul language , and play sports. But I didn't, I refused to be a stereotype. My race did not define me, I define me!!!

Answer 1

It's hard enough to find love in this world...when you find it with someone of another race, don't let anyone else tell you it's wrong

My niece is multi-racial (two white grandparents, one black, one asian), and she is loved by all. My own grandmother is from Alabama. When she got married to my grandfather during the war and then went to Pennsylvania to see his family, she was surprised to see black people riding in the front of the bus, as she'd never seen that before. She is old enough to have known people who owned slaves or had been slaves (though she would have been young and they would have been old). And she loves my niece fiercely, and doesn't care what races she is. She's one of OUR family, and so we love her.

That's one way to solve racial tension...if we all get into inter-racial relationships, before long we will all be mixed and we'll all have family of other races. It's hard to hate your own family.

Answer 2

I am a product of an interracial marriage. I am HALF IRISH and HALF MEXICAN, straight down the middle. As you said race doesn't define me, I do. That is something that needs to be taught more often. Sadly society is still stuck on race being such a defining part of someone when in reality you are who you are. Yes, culture is important it is also taught. I claim Mexican, not because of any other reason then that was the culture I was brought up in and the values I was taught. However culture still does not define the person it is just an aspect of who they are.
I believe as you said a marriage won't work for reasons any marriage doesn't work. That subject can be discussed for days. Not one of those valid reasons have anything to do with race. If race is added to the list then it is due to the people involved not the actual ethnic background. Children that are products of interracial marriages make it as any child does with dealing with everyday growing pains, per say. None of it is defined by race. Race may be a factor but that would be a factor whether they were mixed or not.
Statistically I am sure I would be dead wrong in my opinion but statistics don't dictate the way the world works, we do!

Answer 3

The adverage person's skin weights 6.5lbs. Isn't it funny how we put so much weight on that when judging people? A person is not what color their skin is any more then they are what color their hair is or how tall they are, all of these things are superficial concepts. People are people.

More influential then the color of someone's skin is the culture that, that person comes from. And even then, if their is love and trust and a willingness for team work two people of two different cultures can come together and through compromise enjoy the best of both worlds and raise a very well rounded, understanding child.

You have to understand (not excuse, but understand) that our parents grew up in the 40's-60's time of "seporate but equal", where segregation and racisim were more forefront then anything I know I've ever seen. Therefore if other people don't understand it is probably for that reason, or because their parents came from there and taught their children that segragation was still the way to go. Now that is silly, ignorent and wrong, but still mater of factually the way that a lot of people think.

Therefore more then the honest to goodness "struggles" of an interracial relationship that would come up between you is the "struggles" of the judgement of others who are still insecure enough in who they are that they feel it nessisary to judge you.

I dated an african american man for a while, and we had a great relationship while it lasted. We are no longer together, but we broke up because of a conflict of time which has nothing to do with the color of either of us. He made me laugh, was sincerly caring, and one of the best guys I have ever dated. Yet my parents still hold tightly to the belif that, "We're not racist, just against interracial dating".

Your life is short and when it comes down to it you are the only one that is going to live it, so do what makes you happy because those others in your life who aren't will probably fade in and out anyway.

So Congratulations on your engagement! And the best of luck to the both of you.

Answer 4

I think your absolutely right! I too am in an interracial relationship and has been for 4 years and I would marry him if I have to. I don't understand people that say that interracial relationships will not last because of race. Interracial relationships fail for the same reason most relationships fail; it has nothing to do with race. People sometimes often focus on color first but what people don't realize is that you are a couple first and you deal with the same thing that couples deal with no matter what color you are. So, keep writing because you have brought up amazing points!

Answer 5

I think some of it depends on where you live, and what race you are.

My question would be, why are you even looking at sights for interracial relationships if this isn't an issue for you?

If you are so confident in yourself, and your relationship, then don't be so defensive about what others think.
Live your life and be an example to your future kids.

And, it bothers me that you are stereotyping your own people........."Being an African-American, I was expected to wear baggie pants, and use slang terms and foul language , and play sports." Do you think you are better than those that do wear baggie pants, and use slang terms? Just because they are different than you, doesn't mean you are any better than they are.

Be your own person, but don't judge others.

Answer 6

I'm of mixed heritage too and so is my husband. When we have children, our kids will have 8 different ethnicities. Can you believe it? (We're both from Hawaii where there are lots of folks who are biracial or have more than two ethnicities).

There will always be individuals out there who don't agree with interracial marriages. They have a point, marriage is difficult. Being from two different cultural backgrounds can be an added stress but what people don't focus on is how amazing it is to be a part of both ethnicities. The world is becoming a much more blended mix of culture and...people. It's inevitable. What will make a interracial marriage work is the same anywhere... good communication, hard work, unconditional love etc.

Answer 7

I'm an interracial child. I have had no problems in my life from being interracial or having interracial parents. I'm a mix cultures. I'm hispanic/white/black. I'm currently in a relationship with a caucasian male. I've had no problems dating attractive males from other races and no on has had a problem dating me. I think some of the most beautiful people in this world are interracial. I've been modeling for 5 yrs and was even in an issue of playboy so trust me I've had no problems.

Answer 8

I think like you do. Marriages that won't work don't work because of differences on a variety of things. I don't see what that has to do with race at all. I have no issue what-so-ever with interracial relationships. I've known plenty of very successful marriages that are interracial. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. I love your attitude that you define you! That's exactly how I feel.

Answer 9

I have no problem with interracial marriage. whatever's clever. unfortunately we live in a society where some people still have a huge problem with that. I think the reason some children have the problem growing up is because the have encounters with these ignorant people. Love has no color. It is a bond. People label everything these days. It's ultimately up to you and your spouse to make sure your children is secure in their own skin. my family is mixed with alot of different ethnicities it's has some much to do with your morals and value more than you skin color.

Answer 10

It seems like you and your fiancee have already worked out your answer to this question - you know that, whatever the differences in your backgrounds, you're right for each other. That's what counts. In my life as a teacher in international schools I have known and taught so many 'mixed' kids (I hope no one finds that term offensive?) and this is what I can tell you:
- they'll be gorgeous!
- they'll have a rich, deep, diverse history behind them - won't they, in fact, be representative of the complete American?
- they'll each be unique individuals

people in the US seem particularly hung up on this whole race thing - in Europe it's no big deal any more.
Good luck and best wishes for a long and happy life together.

Answer 11

I totally agree. I hate stereotypes also. As far as interracial marriages and their children, I think it is subjetc to individual opinion just like everything else. My personal philosophy is to each their own. However, I have heard stories of inter-racial children not being accepted etc ect... I think it is just a myth though. In high school and even now, I had/have many friends of various races. Just ignore the haters. Good luck to you and your wife, and I wish you two many years of happiness.