I have proposed to my husband that I would like for him to have sex outside of our marriage. I have a high level of trust in our relationship and am not worried about him leaving. It really excites me to be able to let him do that and for us to talk about it. He is totally into it and wants me to have the same experience. Just talking about it has made our sex life even more amazing and the excitement has filled a void that I have had for some time. We have discussed different scenarios and rules so I feel like we know what we are getting into.
2007-08-15 08:20:38 · 17 answers · asked by golfinggoddess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been in a open marriage for years. It is a wonderful thing as long as there is trust and open communication. Just keep talking to each other. Sometimes you learn that the rules need to be changed a little, just make sure they are changed before they are broken. Good luck and always play safe.
2007-08-15 09:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have had an open marriage of sorts for half our eighteen years married. The ups is it can be wonderful and make you even closer as a couple, it can provide a level of intimacy that is actually mind blowing. It can make you appreciate the other person more and in different ways, and actually see them as others see them. The downs is its not a band-aid for a relationship that is struggling to keep it together. There will always be some times of jealousy and second guessing. You need to really careful about whom you choose to invite into your bed and be sure that they're motives are good. Finally it is a little riskier from the health standpoint, no matter how much precaution you take. Good luck on your adventure what ever you choose :)
2007-08-15 16:00:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with open marriages is that you have to have a very high level of emotional maturity, or else be emotionally distant and numb. Most people don't have that kind of emotional stability. And even if you both believe that you do, neither you nor your husband will know if the partners you choose outside of your marriage will.
Most of the time open marriages don't work, no matter how hard you may want them to. People are just not actualized enough for this kind of emotional rollercoasting. If fantasizing about the possibilities excites you both, perhaps the fantasy is enough. If not, be prepared and committed to stopping the open relationship IMMMEDIATLY if EITHER of you feel even in the slightest bit uncomfortable.
2007-08-15 08:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some fantasies should remain fantasies. You do not know for sure how you will feel until you actually do it. My daughter and son in law just did this and now he is wanting a divorce and is continuning a relationship with the other woman. It is opening a door that you do not know for sure, what all is on the other side. Very few people can pull this off, and it usually ends in divorce. Any new fantasy discussed can be exciting and make your sex life more amazing. Role playing or talking about something new can be enough, without following up on it. You can make up a hundred rules, but until you actually go through with it, you will never know for sure what the actual outcome will be. You will be putting your marriage at risk, is any sexual encounter worth that?????? Just think about it some more before following through with it. Another thought, if you would get pregnant what then? NO form of birth control is 100%, NOT EVEN tubals or vasectomies..... How do you explain to your child that he/she is here because of Mommy and Daddy's fantasy???? Another thought, what about all the STD's, HIV and AIDS? Condoms break, are defective, and do absolutely no protection for oral sex????? You could end up sterile, diseased or DEAD.........................................
2007-08-15 08:28:47 · answer #4 · answered by TC 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was "the other women" in an open relationship and I gotta say it was great. All the ground rules were discussed before hand - there were no surprises. We agreed on a time period of 6 months to play and after that we all remained friends without the sex.
I really respected the thoughtfulness of the couple, I enjoyed the communication and openess of it all. As long as everyone plays by the agreed rules - I say go for it. Life is too short not to experience wonderful things, especially with the one you love.
good luck with it.
2007-08-15 08:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by wildflowerblossom 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Be forever thankful that the two of you can communicate openly with one another. So many people can not. I'm in an open relationship, though we are not married. And I'm still not quite sure about it. Still something missing...but the communication has stopped, on my end. I can't seem to get the thoughts and feelings together and out. Though for some reason seeing other people does not bother me at all. And its nice not to have any of those pesky jealousy feelings getting in the way.
2007-08-15 08:28:37 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, I've never been in one, but I've represented both men and women who were and wound up in divorce because they were left for the "other" people...no matter if there were "rules"...and trust in the beginning. It opens up a pandora's box - you can't predict or control what happens.
one case that sticks out in my head is the wife that contracted HIV giving a BJ to one of her "other" lovers - the only times she didn't have him wear a condom was when she did that. Pretty stupid. Then she infected her husband...and the sad part is they have two kids...
I suggest you two just keep it as a fantasy, talking about what you would do instead of actually doing it - you already say it has helped your sex life - why not just keep being creative in the fantasy department.
2007-08-15 08:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
1. There has to be no jealousy in either one of you at all.
2. If there are "rules" then it's not an "open" relationship, just more like a kinky game you are playing.
3. 99.5% of marriages cannot handle it and will fail within 2 years.
4. There has to be open communication with no anger, sarcasm or doubt.
2007-08-15 08:27:05 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
very dangerous!!! You can have all the trust in the world but when he spends more time out with "her" and less time home you'll feel differently. It is very sexy to talk about fantasies and even act on them but know when enough is enough and hopefully, all will end well.
2007-08-15 08:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trouble, Did you know that the couple who began this fad in the seventies, fell in love with two other people and divorced ?I read that last year on a news blog !
2007-08-15 08:29:35 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋