I don't understand myself sometimes... help!?

Question

I love my husband very much, and there are days where I don't want to let go of him. Times where I want to be with him 24/7.

But then there are days...like today... where I don't want him to even touch me. The smallest things will annoy the crap out of me.

We have been together for many years, but only married for 2. My sex drive has gone down, and I don't know what the heck is going on with me.

Is it hormones? Do I love him but, not IN love with him anymore?

What's going on?

Does anyone else have this problem? Is there anyway to fix this?

Any constructive advise would be greatly appriciated.

Thanks

Answer 1

I think that it is the same for anyone. I bet that if you were to ask him he feels the same way. I also think that part of the reason we get so annoyed with our spouses over the smallest thing is because we CAN! In everyday life a person bottles their emotions because we can't show them to the outside world. We are expected to be a certain way while at work or whatever, and can't let frustrations show or lose our temper. So we go home at the end of the day and explode. I may not be able to snap at my boss over something, but I certainly can my husband...so I do. He seems to get the worst of me but that is because I can be me around him and not worry about what he will think. It isn't fair, but you see it all the time. They say that you are the hardest on the ones you love, and I agree 100%

Answer 2

sounds familiar. i have been married for four years. and i have had days like that. just let it pass. by the first sentence it is clear that you still love him. i thought for a while too that maybe i would be better off with someone else or alone. i can't explain why i felt that way, but i am glad that i did'nt act on it. because i would have left a wonderful relationship with someone who loves me more than anything.little things use to irritate me too. like the dishes in the sink, or the mess in the office. also know what you are going through on the sex drive thing. it goes from everyday when you first get together to once a month, to two or three times a year. sex still does'nt happen very often, sometimes we are just tired, or busy with other things on our minds. we both still love each other. i think there just comes a point where the sex has to cease a little to learn what true intimacy is. i'm sure you still love him. just talk with each other. if the communication stops your problems will get worse. if you talk it can only get better. maybe he feels like something isn't quite right with him. you never know. just talk to him. and if you need any more advice from another wife feel free to im or email anytime. links are on my profile here. good luck, and don't give up. good things are worth fighting for.

Answer 3

Well, I'm no expert but I think what your feeling is absolutely normal.Keeping in mind that I am a male, I have been married for seven years and my wife and have surely felt this way off and on over the years. I believe we are still part "caveman" and having a single partner is still difficult.Try this, imagine your husband "with" someone else. If this really bothers you there is still something. If it does'nt upset you too much than perhaps there is an issue. I hope the thought of your husband with someone other than yourself gets to you somehow because I think many couples don't try hard enough anymore. I wish you the very best!

Answer 4

I'm not going to answer with the most obvious answer (PMS), but I will say that, we (women) are emotional rollercoasters most of the time. I hate it and it sounds like it's making you mad too.

I don't know if it is all hormonal or if you feel like your falling out of love, but I can say for sure your really confused, maybe even somewhat depressed (lack of sex drive is a good sign). Have you recently have a major life change, loss or gain of weight, new child, new job or money struggles? Could be how your handling an issue. I was married to a depressed man and these were a lot of his signs, I did a ton of reading on the issue too. I don't know if I was able to help, but maybe it will get you thinking about other parts of your life that aren't exactly right and see if they are related to how your treating your husband and yourself. Best of luck to ya.

Answer 5

You can't ask people on yahoo whether you love your husband or not, how can we know?

It's probably hormones. Some days women are just like that, it doesn't have to be PMS. If your sex drive has gone down, perhaps it is time to change it up, do something new you wouldn't have thought to do before (in bed)? Also, tell him to take you out on a date and be romantic again.

Just don't be afraid, be open with him. He can't help you if he doesn't know. If nothing else helps, you can always go to the doctor. Maybe you have a hormone imbalance. Don't always jump to conclusion that your love is
floundering.

GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Sometimes, I feel the same way with my husband. I realized that I need to make sure that I have time to myself. If I don't feel good about myself or take care of myself then it really affects my relationship with my husband. This is especially true when I'm stressed out (or have a major case of PMS) because I have a habit of letting myself take on too many projects at once.

Perhaps it would be good to see a marriage counselor or pick up a self-help book. Don't give up! Even the best of marriages go through periods like this :)

Answer 7

OMG! Did you just describe my life or what? I think the same thing. Married 2yrs together for 13! Some days I just dont want to go home! I think (in my case, so maybe this helps) that I wanted him long and hard for sooooo long that maybe the fun is over and it's not exactly what I expected. I even think of giving up and leaving sometimes but it does pass, and Im glad we are still going strong. You can fall in and out of love for a lifetime...Don't let go. Do something romantic and hold on. Good Luck!

Answer 8

You love your husband very much and do not want to let go of him. Then you say that your sex drive has gone down hill i dont no what is wrong with people they think sex is the only thing to marriage. Than there are times when you dont want to be around him or want him to touch you. it up to you to decide whether you are in love with him or not. You have to go back and find out what attracted you to this man in the first place. best of luck

Answer 9

I agree with Dork. You are just experiencing the blues. You are becoming more mature and growing up. it may be hormones as well.

All of this does not mean that you do not love your husband and, it is just reality has set in.

Take some time each week to go on a date with your husband. Out your cares aside for the evening. That should liven things up.

Answer 10

Honestly only you can answer these questions. But if you have to question yourself, and ask are you falling out of love with him. You most likely are. You might not be as attracted to him as you used to be also. That could put a damper on your sex drive too. But if you don't think that is the problem you should seek a doctors opinion. It could be your estrogen to as well.

Good Luck