How can you monitor visitation with an alcoholic?

Question

My alcoholic ex-friend wants visitation with his 4 yr. old. His wife finally couldn't take his drinking & lying anymore. He drives drunk & wants to pick up his son for visitation. I babysit this precious child whilst Moms @ work & am really worried about Dad showing up. He's mad @ me because I'm helping & backing his wife in this case. He hides alcohol & we never know what he's going to do. Serious answers only please.
The little boy has a speech problem so won't be able to call or ask for help.

Answer 1

she needs to go to court and gets supervised visitation and requests that he gets mandatory counseling and alcohol treatment.

If he shows up at your home, simply do not answer the door. If he gets obnoxious, call the police and have him escorted off your property.

Answer 2

If the mother has custody and has hard evidence to the fact that he's an alcoholic, she can petition the courts to order what's called "supervised visitations." They are done in a non-threatening environment at set times and dates (for example at a park on Thursdays from 4pm-6pm) with a court-appointed guardian for the child who will observe and supervise the visit by the father. I'm unsure who would be responsible for the fees involved, but I believe it would be the father in this case.

If you're concerned about the father showing up and taking the child without the mother's permission, have the mother issue a statement saying that YOU are the sole care giver for this child while she's at work. And also have her give you a copy of the custody agreement (or another statement to the effect that the father does NOT have legal custody). Then, should the father show up and take the child, call 911 and report it as kidnapping...this way you have documentation that the child was taken by force.

If he EVER makes any sort of threat toward the mother, the child OR you, a restraining order can be obtained, but again this would have to go through the courts; the first place to start would be by again calling the police.

My BEST advice is for the mother to get an attorney that can help her muddle through all this and protect that child from a DRUNK.

Answer 3

Just that....the dad only can see his child at a set time and place and may not leave with the child. If a place can not be agreed upon by both parents then the parent doesn't get visitation.
If you so much as even feel like you'd give in to the father and let him take his son. Then don't be that meeting place. And if you feel that you may not have the will power to keep this child from driving around with his father...then just think of his poor little lifeless body hanging out of a windshield. Your decisions to keep the child safe at all cost is a good one, regardless of what the alcoholic thinks. And remember alcoholics are the most selfish people in the world and will usually do and say anything to get what they want. So you have no reason to ever feel bad about helping to keep a child safe.

Answer 4

I would go through the courts and request supervised visitation. The mom needs to have documented episodes that show he is not responsible and can't control his drinking. This is a situation that could put an innocent child in great danger so something needs to be done. Also, if there aren't any court orders, this man has every right to get his child and there really isn't anything that can be done so it is very important to have the courts handle the case so that the law can become involved if need be. Maybe you can talk to him and see if he is willing to go through treatment so that he can be a good dad to his son...seems like you are in a tough spot though.

Answer 5

First of all if he comes to your door don't let him in. Is there a visitation schedule? I would say that the wife or ex-wife needs to get to court and let a judge know that the man drives drunk. He needs to visit his child but it should be supervised visits with a court appointed person who will deliver the child, stay, and then return the child to your friend.

Answer 6

Who cares if the father is mad, you guys have to protect this child. If he comes by, you lock all doors and call the mom, or the police. Have the mom leave a notarized letter from her with clear cut directions iif the father is to come by, show this to the cops and have them check to see if he is drunk. You guys have to protect this boy and no matter how mad the dad gets, nothing is going to be worse than letting that boy go with a drunk man. You guys are putting the boy first and thats the best thing. Unfortunitly it is hurtful to the father, but he is an alchoholic and needs to sober up if he truely wants to see his boy. until he does, he is making a clear cut choice for himself to not get to see his son. Good luck to all of you.

Answer 7

you don't have to let this child go w/ him...no matter what this guy says! the mother needs to get a court order that says visitation has to be supervised...anyone can supervise that does not drink themselves...and this man should not be allowed to drink at all around this child, either..., if she shows up w/ alcohol on his breath, then, he should not be allowed to see the child that day...good luck...!

Answer 8

easy court ordered supervised visits. The courts will set it up or go through Catholic Charities and do it. I mean catholic charities will provide the supervised visits with a court order.

Answer 9

If it were me, I would get a court order for him to have supervised visits until he gets approved by some type of court appointed pshychologist or somoen professional.

Answer 10

you go to court and make him take tests or whatever before he can pick up the child and he has to prove hes sober