I'm 21 y/o.I've been married for over a year now and we just recently had a child. Shortly after his birth I start think about my first love. We dated for two years. We started dating at 15 y/o. We sort of kept in contact after we split until we were 19. Then we had a big falling out & we went our seperate ways and move to diff. states. Anyway like I said, I've been thinking about him a lot lately. Remember how we were and how in love we were and what might have been. We were eachothers first loves.
Our families live in the same town so they sometimes bump into eachother and talk about the both of us to eachother. Well my mom found out that he recently got married and is expecting his first child. This just made it even worse. I'm thinking about him even more now. I want to write and congratulate him but I don't think he would respond b/c of our big falling out and b/c I'm afraid of my feelings.
Is this normal if I'm married? I love my husband to death. What should I do?
2007-08-15 08:02:09 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let it be what it is. Dreams, fantasies, and the occasional look back is healthy and normal. Now focus on your family and the love and rewards that are there.
2007-08-15 08:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal, but mostly bc that is your last love relationship. Do not think of what could have been, think of what is being right now. He could be a really big jerk now. People change, and I am sure he is a TON different than he was then. Keep him as what he is, an ex and a memory. Let it go and focus on what you have now. When you are that young, you do fall head over heels, or at least you think you do, and with it being the first one that you loved the way you did, you will naturally think back to it. Do not congratulate him, it could cause problems in your marriage as well as his. Keep things as they are. If it was meant to be, then it will be. Since you are happy now, keep it that way. Love takes work, and you are going to have to work on this. Do it for your husband and your child. You have your own family to worry about now. About the only thing I can tell you about your thoughts is every time a good memory passes through your head, replace it with negative memories instead. Remind yourself of all of the reasons you are not together. Keep moving forward, do not turn back. Leave the past in the past hun. Good Luck.
2007-08-15 08:13:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first love will always remain in your heart unless they did something really awful to you. Many of us think of our first loves from time to time and wonder "what if." It's normal. Fortunately there is so much room in our hearts we can love again but generally not the same way. The confetti only falls for the first love. I would suggest you simply tell your mom to say hello from you and congrats when she bumps into a family member again. Live your life, love your husband and baby and be happy for your memories. Some people never experience this kind of love. They miss a lot.
2007-08-15 08:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by beautifultome 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Memories like this are fine. but they need to stay in the past, and the feelings with them. The grass is never greener. Also, you were in love with him when you didnt have all the adult responsibilities. Are you really thinking about him, or how good it would be to go back to those good old days when you were much more carefree. I'm betting it is the second, because you love your husband. This will pass. Good luck to you.
2007-08-15 08:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either let sleeping dogs lie. Or openly and honestly congratulate him on his good fortune. If he doesn't respond, then would you really want to continue to harbor feelings for someone so damned that he can't forgive?
And a word of wisdom, you don't have to necessarily stop loving your X's, they will always have a special place in your heart...to think otherwise would really make you a hateful person.
2007-08-15 08:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're probably missing your ex partner. although you love your husband, there are things you missed that you cannot find in your husband. The things you've shared before and the way you treat each other. I'm sure,you and your husband's relationship is exactly different from your past relationship with your ex
2007-08-15 08:19:57 · answer #6 · answered by ○believe○me○ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should remember the good times (fleetingly) and continue on with your life. I would also look at my relationship with the new hubby and see what was lacking. It must be something that is prompting these feeling. I wish you the best of luck!!
2007-08-15 08:15:29 · answer #7 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember he is an ex for a reason and you are now married and have a child . stay with your husband you would not be happy with the ex. exes are exes for a reason . good luck .
2007-08-15 08:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's probably a phase you are going thru. dont act on it.....you might regret it later. try not to think about him...it could be hard...but try. i think after a while you will get over him...again. put all of your thoughts and energy into your husband.
2007-08-15 08:09:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
option1 you are a skank
option 2 leave it go
2007-08-15 08:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by wolfchat_2005 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋