I know that it might be somewhat ridiculous to post a question like this on YA, but an objective point of view might be just what I need. I've been with my gf for a little over a year now, and it seems like she just isn't happy. She is very quiet around me. She hardly ever laughs. She seems to just have no passion. Sex is a joke, but that's not the biggest issue in our relationship. The biggest issue, in my opinion, is the fact that I treat this woman and her four year old daughter like gold, but get nothing in return. I can walk in the house and barely get a "hi." I know she loves me because on my b-day, she wrote a very heartfelt note on my card. It talked about how much she loves me and how she wants to be with me forever. She also went WAY overboard on my gifts. Honestly, I don't care about all that stuff. I want her, not material possessions. I love her daughter so much also. I just don't know what to do. A sidenote: she has cerebral palsy, so that may have an impact
2007-08-15 06:01:15 · 9 answers · asked by chickenbeansoup 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(cont) on how she interacts with me. The main problem, once again, is her lack of emotion. It seems like what she wrote to me on my b-day card is completely contradictory to her actions. It's so confusing. She is 31 and I am 25. I am so attached to her daughter, and her daughter is attached to me, which makes this situation all the more complex and hurtful. ADVICE??? HELP??
2007-08-15 06:01:32 · update #1
Its her makeup. Shes expressed her love in other ways. can't have it all bub. Everyone is different. be happy with what you have.
2007-08-15 06:05:15 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't fix this my friend, I am sorry to say. You cannot change who a person is or how they act. You have two choices in my opinion:
1) Stay in an unsatisfying relationship for the sake of your relationship with her daughter, (Which by the way is rather inappropriate after only a year!) and accept the fact that this is who she is.
2) Start extricating yourself from this relationship her medical condition is unfortunate but think about it this way. If you are not happy and there is ANY chance you will not continue this relationship in the future, end it now before it gets any harder on the child.
Neither of you are being fair or thinking about the child in this relationship. You are not married, and I assume the child is not yours. This child does not need men entering and leaving the situation. The heartfelt note is nice but what are words with no action to back them up, it sounds manipulative. She is giving you just enough to keep you around but not enough to keep you happy.
And one last note, if you have only been there for a year you made a bad decision when you formed such a strong relationship with the child before you knew if this was going to last.
Take Window number two it's what is best all around.
2007-08-15 06:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by Average Joe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably just doesn't feel safe conveying her emotions. If you are interested in having a wife that demonstrates how she feels and is more outwardly loving,then you need to keep looking. This doesn't mean that the way your current gf handles things is wrong,it's just not what you are looking for in a wife.
You can either handle it forever or you can't.Why date someone anymore you only want to change. You can't change her. My best friend has CP and it doesn't really have any effect on how she deals with relationships. Don't know about your gf though. Maybe she had a rough time as a child dealing with it.
2007-08-15 06:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you love this girl a lot, and she is a lucky lady. I don't know enough about cerebral palsy to comment on this honestly, but it COULD be a factor, maybe her medication is affecting her emotionally? I would advise having a heart to heart with her, tell her that you want her and you love her being affectionate with you, perhaps she is just better at expressing her emotions on paper than in words, but the only way you will know is to talk to her, tell her that you hate seeing her sad and if there is anything that is bothering her she can always tell you.
2007-08-15 06:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definition of Relationship to you and to her are different.
She needs someone who is just like you.
You are attached and you are happy but partly but happy.
In most relationships it's not always give and take, some relationships people accept because of their emotional or current needs.
Are you getting what you need ? talk to her and tell her exactly the words you have written here, she will give you the best answer. I am sure she will... go try.
2007-08-15 06:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first step woud be to talk to your girlfriend and ask her what is going on? Maybe she just feels insecure and doesnt know how to handle the situation. Talking openly about a problem and resolving it together will strengthen the relationshipbut often its hard to talk. Good Luck.
2007-08-15 06:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she is depressed? Is there something weiging heavily on her mind? Have you talked to her about seeing a doctor about depression? Could these symptoms of apathy be coming from her Cerebral Palsey medication? Definately have a talk with her about maybe asking her doctor some of these questions.
2007-08-15 06:15:55 · answer #7 · answered by Saphira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her being sick may make her want to be distant with almost everyone. She probably thinks that she doesn't deserve you. Be open with her and explain to her how you feel. You have to have good communication in relationships. Let her know how you feel in a non-confrontational way. Listen to what she has to say too.
2007-08-15 06:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by sun day 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
vacation, take lots of pic
the idea is to have stuff to talk about, so a vacation might be what you need to start a converstation.
2007-08-15 06:05:11 · answer #9 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋