For nearly two years my wife has denied an emotional affair with her Ex-husband that start while she was pregnant with our daughter. During the 2nd session with our second marriage counselor she has admitted it. I have asked her to choose between her Ex and his family and me with the family we have now. I told her there was no half way on this issue. I told her that the only interaction with her Ex should be directly related to my stepson. She says she needs more time. I’m thinking that kind of speaks for itself. I am only asking her for what she vowed when we go married. Should I call it quits and go to my lawyer or give her more time. My stepson is 8 and my daughter is 23 months. For more background check my previous questions.
2007-08-15 05:42:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your marriage counseling and efforts to rebuild your marriage will remain stalled as long as she keeps three people in your marriage.
You have every right to ask her to end any unnecessary contact with the exH. If she wants to keep your marriage, then she needs to commit fully.
Has she forgotten why she left that man to begin with? Obviously. Since she doesn't have to deal with the real life problems with the ex, it all has a fantasy aspect now. If you give her any time, make it very limited and definite.
It may shake her into reality if she starts to see that she might lose you. Let her know just how much you love her, but that this is hurting you to much. Tell her you will be seeing an attorney to see just what you might have to expect.
Some support groups that might be helpful for you:
http://www.lifesaviors.com/SI/
http://survivinginfidelity.com/
http://marriagebuilders.com/
2007-08-15 16:25:25 · answer #1 · answered by joyh 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife certainly is very confused right now i agree with some of the writers it is not easy letting go of someone you once loved,Did you guys get together too soon after she had split from her Ex? this emotional afffair definately started because something was lacking in your marriage or your marriage had somewaht degenerated to a state where she started to feel things for her Ex(Not trying to blame you she is still accountable for her action) My advice is you guys need to get to the root of why she started to get emotionally involved with her Ex in the first place she is not in love with him she is just very carried away right now to the point that she is not completely logical. I would not advice you to force her to choose to avoid resentment later but rather help her see what she is doing and what she might lose if she continues this path If she loves you she will make the right decision. if you try all this and it does not work then seperate because you deserve to have your woman's full attention no matter what don't give up do your best frist before throwing in the towel. cheers
2007-08-15 06:16:52 · answer #2 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact she didn't say you the moment you said that would have told me right their it's time to talk to a lawyer. I will not compete with an ex. To me it isn't worth the time and aggravation. You have given her all the time she needs to choose and she can't. And honestly how can you trust that it was only an emotional affair. If it was me she would have been gone awhile ago. But these are my opinions, The way I deal with stuff like this is black and white, their is no grey. Me or him you can't choose I'll do it for you, And I hope you two are happy. Know what I mean.
2007-08-15 06:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by ogrething2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but here's what I would do tell her she has to a certain time to decide if she doesnt then your out of there period, and stick to your decision why would she need more time it didnt work the first time they were married she should have already moved on. Keep this in mind just in case it comes to a divorce (If she admitted to cheating on you ) then you have a good chance of getting custody of your children, of course the marriage counselor would have to testify. Good LUCK
2007-08-15 05:55:18 · answer #4 · answered by rebeccaangel2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How sad for you that she must have married you on the rebound. I hate to tell you to kick her to the curb since you have a family but I say let him have her if that's the way they are going to treat you. She'll be getting what she thinks she wants and then she won't want that either. That's how some women are.
2007-08-15 05:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by jacquie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting go is a hard thing to do. My husband passed away and it has been very hard for me to let go. My new husband has pretty much asked for me to do this very thing myself......People are hard to let go of.......For women it's hard to walk away when your Heart is so involved.....
I am not justifying her actions but she may need more time. She just now admitted that she is still emotionally attached to her ex........and you also need to come to grips with the fact that part of her will always love him......because before you came along her heart belonged to him.......
2007-08-15 05:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right. her answer speaks for itself. Dump her and let the ex have this worthless mattress.
She doesn't need more time as the answer should be immediate. And it was. There is no questions as to what you should be doing now.
2007-08-15 06:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The hormones involved in pregnancy can keep a mind confused for some years afterward.
The counselor won't make any money telling you that.
Talk to the ex and tell him she is yours now and to butt out.
2007-08-15 05:48:37 · answer #8 · answered by Here I Am 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
emotional affair? that's still cheating...dump her, find a lady who knows what it means to be faithful...no matter what! good luck...yet, if she really loves you, she will cut off ties to this man to just talking to him when he picks up the boy and when he brings the boy back...no time needed! and will talk in front of you...unless there is an emergency w/ the boy...and that's that...! =) best wishes...and God Bless
2007-08-15 05:58:55 · answer #9 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you giving her so much power over you?
*She* is the cheater and she decides your fate?
Oh HELL NO.
Lock and load that skank-a$s b*tch and fire at will. Kick her cheating a$s right out of the house.
There are plenty of great women out there.
2007-08-15 05:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋