I've been married for two years and things aren't going very well in my marriage. To make matters worse I have a crush on someone else and the guy is nice but totally wrong for me. Why am I attracted to people who are not right for me?
2007-08-15 05:17:13 · 9 answers · asked by ernie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband is verbally abusive and we don't have sex but i suppose that my fault too right. So all of you are saying that you've never fantasized about someone else. I didn't say I was going to cheat, I'm just confused.
2007-08-15 05:44:54 · update #1
Sometimes we have the image in our mind on the type of man that we would like to have in our lives and we meet people that meet our description physically. Physical appearance is not all and I know that a lot of people get caught up like that. "Oh he looks like a nice guy or she looks like a nice girl", underneath that look of innocence is the beast himself.
I think that you need to know what it is you want in a person and find him because now that you notice that your husband is not what you quite expected or what you wanted it makes no sense in trying to change him to what or who you want him to be. Sometimes at the beginning it seems as though nothing can go wrong and everything would be fine he is just what you always dreamed of then you see after knowing the person who they really are. My mother always said to me when I was growing up, "you have to sleep in the chicken pen to know if chickens snore."
I did not always understand what she meant until I got older and got married that she was saying when you live with someone then you would really know who they are. My husband was the best thing before we got married and now he is not like the beginning now he is even more wonderful. Most times it goes the other way around unfortunately.
Try working things out with your husband if you know that this is what you want a marriage is about love, commitment, understanding and compromise. Put this guy out of your mind at some stage these things happen but don't give up.
2007-08-15 05:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love? What is it? It is in human nature to take things for granted and forgeting the feelings of how it was back then when you guys were dating. (its very sad, ppl can really forget abt another person completely sometimes worse) Similarly, the new crush that you have will not stay long. In a marriage, things usually don't work out when the most important element of love is missing. That is respect. Respect what he likes, what he wants or you want. Love him the way as you want him to. Of course, he will not be your priorty if you are just an option in his life. You can go for a short separation to reflect on things as only you know what had happened.
2007-08-15 05:42:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea you have to know what you are worth. I mean you have to set standards and boundaries for your life. When you know who you are and what you are worth than the very people in your life will see it too. Don't settle for less, you are married try to work on it. See what you invest in a marriage or relationship is what you will get out of it. Stop seeking for love in this other guy and start repairing your marriage. I promise when you do that you will find your purpose and all things will be made clear to you. Good luck!
2007-08-15 05:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the excitement. If things are really bad in your marriage you need to figure out what went wrong and do you find yourself dating the same kinnda guys. You might need to take a step back and look in the mirror.
2007-08-15 05:26:24 · answer #4 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a real jerk. Take responsiblity for the problems in your marriage. Don't blame everything on your husband and make it sound like you are some sort of victim here. Your marriage sucks because you are a crappy spouse.
2007-08-15 05:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your husband about the things that are going on in your marriage and work on them. If you are unable to resolve this problem, you need to move on. Then you can persue a different relationship.
2007-08-15 05:28:05 · answer #6 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you attracted to the person you said you'd love forever? You need to attach yourself to your spouse and forget about some fantasy person!
2007-08-15 05:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by Sassie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the excitement, people need that to keep there blood flowing
2007-08-15 05:28:30 · answer #8 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dunno, border line personality disorder perhaps.
2007-08-15 05:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋