how long is enough?

Question

I am past the stage of being patient! I know it sounds harsh, but I have needs! My husband and I are 32 and we've been married for almost 7 yrs. He won't have sex with me. I have started to threaten divorce if he doesn't act like my husband and not a roommate. I have started to nag again. I am just very frustrated. It's been like 4 months!!! I have not changed since we got married. What would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

Oh Hun I'm so sorry for your dilemma. I'm female and if that was my husband I would be extremely worried after 1week! HOWEVER, this is no LOL manner.
Have you communicated to your husband about your concern?
What is his level of satisfaction. 1 x a week? 1x a month?
He may be board? Or he may have other relations somewhere else. God forbid I hope NOT!!! He may be not feeling well? If I were you I would want some feed back. What would be his reasoning? What would be his excuse? Because he sure would be drawing suspicion on his-self. And you do not want to be accusing or threatening him of anything. Now you asked, This is what I would do....
First Communication is Key. Couples who REALLY love each other will always work it out.
2nd State you are very concerned because of e NO SEX AT ALL.
3rd He could be depressed. Men are really hard on themselves and do not extend to others about their mental health.
4th You husband may not know either what he is experiencing. He may be just as frightened or concerned as you.

Answer 2

Nagging is not going to help as you would have come to realise. Why not try marriage counselling?
Your husband may be aware that he is unhealthy and doesn't know how to tell you and therefore not to pass anything on to you, he prefers to avoid having sex with you? Possibly.
Obviously there is something very wrong and although you are in a very difficult situation, divorce is not the answer to everything, specially if you love him!!
So, what you need to do, is to get to the bottom of this.
Surely he is also your friend as well as your husband. So, you would want to help him to deal with whatever he is dealing with?
Maybe he has discovered that he has feelings for someone else? that he prefers men?
Well, the list could go on and on, so the best thing to do is definitely to go to marriage counselling both of you, or even you on your own for a start, or him. Whatever would help improve communication.
Good luck.

Answer 3

What I'd do, is stop the nagging. Trust me that it's quite likely that in itself is a turnoff and he's less (not more) likely to not come around.

If you've had a civil, adult conversation about this (no nagging or threatening) and nothing has changed, the suggest counseling to determine why he has no sex drive (with you). If that doesn't work or he just refuses to go, then you'll need to decide if it's time to turn in your walking papers, or if the rest of the relationship is worth giving up sex for.

Answer 4

Get him a prescription for testosterone. 200mg injection per week. Within 5 to 7 days, he'll be wanting sex all the time.
Testosterone is responsible for sex drive in men. It's 100% safe and millions of men..mostly middle aged, use it. Injections are the most effective and economical, but they do make it in creams and patches too. Funny, how such a serious problem with sex can be fixed with a simple cure.
Walmart sells it for around $100, It will last 2 and 1/2 months.
Email me if ya wanna know anything else.

Answer 5

Well...I know what I'd do. I'm going right out and buying stock in Everyready Battery Company.

On a serious note. Why no sex? What's he say? Have you made this an issue? I sure would. Tell you what though. You keep nagging and you become less and less attractive to him. No one wants to have sex with a pain in the ****.
If all of the above fails....well...go have an affair. Doesn't stop a lot of people and I'm willing to bet the ones who condemn the loudest are guilty themselves.
Best of luck.

Answer 6

Is it possible that your husband is having a problem that he doesn't want you to know about? How is his health? It's unusual for a man his age to not want sex. Are you expecting too much from him, so that he's afraid to perform? You sound very demanding and controlling. Is that why your husband doesn't have sex with you? First, I'd inquire about his health. Then, I'd look at myself and ask if I'm too demanding. If none of this helps the situation, it might be that your man is no longer in love with you. You don't sound like you're loveable at all. In fact, you sound more like the Wicked Witch of the East.

Answer 7

First, quit nagging. You already know that doesn't work so stop it right now. Second, quit threatening him with divorce - that hasn't worked, either, so quit doing it.

Take the pressure off of him and don't bring it up anymore for a while. When you do bring it up again, use "I" statements. Such as, "I would love to be intimate with you as I feel I am losing my connection with you and it scares me," and "Is there anything I can do that would make sex a more pleasurable experience for you."

In other words, quit thinking of yourself and start thinking of ways to make your husband happy. And nagging and threats are not going to make him happy, nor will they get you what you want. You've already proven that.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Ok have you found out why he won't. have you tried counseling? are you sure there is nothing medically wrong with him? are the other areas in your marriage ok? get to the bottom of this before deciding what to do next? what if he's simply depressed and by getting some help he is fina agin. That happened to my husband. Stop nagging him because that won't help but demand some answers.

Answer 9

Tell him that u need to talk to him about something important and juss sit down with him and tell him what u basically typed on here. Tell him that it bothers u that yall havnen't had sex in 4 months (like u said) and that it really bothers you. tell him that u have needs right now and have been patient long enough and that it feels like u are juss ignoring my needs and thats not fair. I shouldnt have to threaten to divorce you bc u are acting more like my roomate and not my husband that i love and married and wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
i hope i helped :)

Answer 10

If you believe divorce is warranted based on your current list of problems and those problems have been on going for 7 years; then you must either accept the marriage with those problems or get out, because the odds of change after 7 years is slim.