i did a really bad thing?

Question

everyone on here is going to hate me probably but
i left my wife 7 months pregnant, its been a week now
when i left i just said i needed a little time to think things over, she didn't want me to go and ran after me but i left her there crying...
i went back to spend some time with my friends (when i was about 18 i lived with 4 or 5 other friends sharing a house) it was cool for like one day and then i basically realized that i was way past that stage in my life. i had already gone to college and gotten a job and they were still eating day old mcdonalds and playing video games all night. i want to go back to my wife but i know she wont take any crap so what can i do? after spending a week with the friends i used to live with it made me miss my wife and i realize that all i wanna do is live with my wife again.. i know ill have to spend tomorrow searching for my wedding ring (one of my friends threw it out into the backyard), how can i get back with her?

i feel/am so horrible for leaving my wife when she's 7 months pregnant, i abandoned her :(

Answer 1

Men will always be boys deep down inside......YOU got scared. The thing is this.......You will always have someone to play with. Your child will always look up to you.......

You are becoming a man.....a real man.......just go with the flow and just admit to your little lady that you were afraid.

She needs to know that she is secure. She needs to know that you are faithful and that you love her.

Answer 2

Ok, first of all, good thing you realized pretty soon you miss her and not 10 years from now when she's in a new relationship, or you for that matter. Your timing is good. What you could say goes along these lines:

You are an emotional wreck, bringing a baby into this world is not an easy thing to do and you got scared and needed some time to sort out things for yourself. You sorted them out, and now you are ready to take this commitment 100% and you definetly want to be a part of her and the baby's life.

Sometimes women talk so much about marriage it may seem to an alien that we enjoy every aspect of marriage while the man views it as 100% sacrifice. But both parts enjoy some things and both parts sacrifice some things. If you were unsure about married life and parenting, I can assure you she's got the same fears and doubts, and she is pregnant, she is hormonal, so she is in an emotional rollercoaster. Remember this when you talk to her, remember she might view things as 100% more dramatic than you do, and she may say things she doesn't really mean. Plan this meeting around the worst things she could say or do, and be prepared to recieve the best if it comes to that.

I wish you the best of luck, and I congratulate you on deciding to take the harder road. In the end, you'll be rewarded in ways videogames and mcdonalds cannot.

Answer 3

It's a good sign that you are repented about it. She deserves the best and you broke that trust in you as her provider and source of her strength.

You definately need to express in every way possible that you understand exactly what you did to her. I'm sure the vision of her crying running after you haunts you.

You really need to open up, and give her any and every assurance that you will never do this again. Be prepared to be blamed and blasted by how much it hurt her, but that will be a good sign, if she opens up to you. Hopefully, she will at least do that.

You also need to make her the highest in your life and with everything in you rebuild the trust that you broke. Extra grace and understanding is imperative. She will not get over this overnight, and the fix will not be overnight. Emotions of abandonment will haunt her.

First things first, contact her and see if she will even take you back home and you want to work things out, and you are truly sorry. Reassurance is imperative that you will never leave her again. If / when she says to come home, bring things for her AND the baby. =)

You have much work to do to rebuild a broken marriage. But it will be up to her to allow it.

http://www.housefellowship.org

Answer 4

Alot of men go through this. The thought of a new baby and the responsibilities that go with it are sometimes overwhelming to a man. It's a temporary feeling and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. Go on back home. Your wife loves you and she needs you with her now. You've hurt her deeply, but women are strong and they get over these things. Only go back if you're sure this is what you want, though. Don't play games with your wife. She doesn't deserve that. I hope you find your ring and that things work out for you (what kind of a friend would throw your wedding ring away, even if you told him to? Very immature thing to do.). You told your wife that you needed time to think things over. If you've done that, go back home to her.

One more thing: if you don't love this woman and marriage is not for you, find the courage to tell her that and move on. You'll have to take responsibility for your child, of course, but you don't have to stay in a marriage you don't want. Here again, you've got to think things out. Don't worry about what other people will say, because those who love you will understand. Your wife will be hurt, but in time she'll understand, as well. I'm telling you this, just in case you really don't want to be married. It's better to get out now and give this woman a chance to find happiness, rather than stay in an unhappy marriage. You have a good heart and I sincerely wish you well.

Answer 5

You're a class A Moron!

You left her crying, 7 months pregnant? Cold Hearted Jerk!

Do you know what kind of emotional and physical stress you have put on your wife? She has to be strong in order to take care of her baby - and you jeopardize her mental health because you're selfish?

You are a grown man making childish decisions. Grow up, be a man, don't walk away from things because they may be hard at the time - face them head on and deal with it.

If she takes you back because you grovel like and idiot and kiss her feet, it may work because of all the hormones and emotions she's dealing with. But in the end - you messed up BIG time and in no near future is she going to forget, let along forgive.

Men - so weak and stupid!

Answer 6

Yes, you sure did!! What you do is everything and anything to get her back including buying a new ring. You will be humble and you will probably do some groveling but most of all you need to figure out why you would walk out on your wife at 7 mos. pregnant so you don't keep screwing up. Get some counseling so you can grow up a little more to be the husband and father she expects you to be.

Answer 7

Well at least you feel bad, and you want to go back to her, so try not too kill yourself over it, instead concentrate on her and the baby, say whatever you gotta say to get back with her, (don't lie)....and you're right your life is not what it was back then with your friends, that was a different you and different stage of your life, now you're beyond those things, you out grew them. Just tell your wife you've been stressed out and you needed time to think about things for awhile, that this is all new to you and you got scared, and apologize to her, tell her you love her and the baby. Don't start thinking negatively about what or how she may act, because you'll defeat yourself, and you'll be setting up for failure....just go back ASAP and get it over with....the longer you wait the harder it will be.....

Answer 8

Wow, you just finally grew up in one weeks time. Sometimes it takes these things to see what really counts in life. You are going to have a lot of sucking up to do here and why should she take your crap. You really shouldn't be dishing any out, should you and the same can be said for her. Good luck and you may have to woo your wife again like when you were first dating because you have hurt her terribly. Better get a florist on speed dial.

Answer 9

yeah that is a really bad thing but maybe if you talk to your wife and explain why you did what you did she would understand. You are right I'm pretty sure she won't take any crap from you so you might just have to grow up and except yur responsability of being a dad/husband and a life partner. Remember a marriage is a partnership between two people combinding as one. Good luck

Answer 10

i think you'll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again! if i were her you'd be yesterdays news. i mean just for one minute think about something other than yourself. because throughout this entire question all i have heard is you you you! you helped her make that baby and you run out? i mean what the hell? does she have that option just to drop everything and run off. and what do you have to think about? that is YOUR wife and YOUR baby! take some resposibility. you made a commitment to her. for better or worse right! or in your case is it just until i want something new. she has the right to be angry with you and i would hope to god she'd have a brain in her head to not let you back in that door. i'm sorry if the truth hurts but like i said at what point did you think about what you put her through?!? i mean what if you caused her to go into labor? did you think about that? oops. nope. once again thinking about you! sorry i forgot! good riddens to you!

Answer 11

well my guess is you're having a hard time facing the fact that you have to grow up now. It i shard to accept the fact that now your life revolves around someone else, even more so with a child. now though it's time to step up and be a man. Be strong enough to overcome your fears and live life like the respectable guy I'm sure you are. If you continue to struggle with these fears go see a counselor, do not leave your wife again, PLEASE!