after 25 yearsof marriage and alot of up and downs we were at his mothers house having dinner and he tells everyone i dont come down because im embarresed.Looking straight at me as he does so.I made a excusee my tooth was hurting and left very nicely so no one new i was upset but my husband he comes back to the room adn tells me he dont care how I feel and to get over it. how do you handle that
2007-08-15 04:20:10 · 9 answers · asked by furby_lost 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he said the reason he never came to visit is because he was emaressed. not about sex. its about his family...
2007-08-15 05:59:19 · update #1
I'm sure you're leaving out a LOT of little puzzle pieces here!
But in general, what he did was embarrass you in front of other people, and then hurt you with uncaring talk.
You need to find a good time to communicate... when you ___ it makes me feel ____. I'd rather you _______.
That may help. If he still doesn't care about how you are feeling, you may want to see a Marriage Counselor with him. Somehow, he needs to wake up that it's not about "getting over it", but about how his actions and words are making you feel.
Also, men are good at analagies. Find a very good, relatable parrallel that would affect him, and then explain, that's what you are doing to me when you ____.
http://www.splashdesignworks.com
http://www.housefellowship.org
2007-08-15 04:33:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
25 years of marriage? I don't get it. You've been married to this idiot for 25 years?
Well, you definitely have a problem if you're going to ALLOW him to treat you with such disrespect. If he doesn't care about you, then what the hell are you doing with him? Do you care about him? You shouldn't!
YOU CANNOT LET SOMEONE, ESPECIALLY YOUR HUSBAND TREAT YOU LIKE THAT. When someone treats you with disrespect, it is because they're the one with the insecurity problem and that's why they're trying to put you down! He has the problem! Not you.
Hey, get your self respect, pride and dignity back. It's time to pull this jerk over the coal. Threaten that if he doesn't care about you, HIS WIFE, then you choose to no longer waste any more time and ruin the excellent life that you could be having with a real man that knows how to treat a woman and you want a divorce! Do it! He doesn't deserve you.
That is when you will see if what he said is alot SHT! That's when he will show you if he really does care and if he loves you. If he doesn't care and he doesn't love you, then continue and file for divorce. You could live a better life. Good Luck
2007-08-15 04:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By kicking him square in the nuts...thats how. He's a bully and an ignoramous. Shame on his mother for not reaching across the table and backhanding her own son for needlessly embarrassing you in front of everyone.
If he had any respect for you he never would have done it. Best make this an issue and toss it in his face. Sure it'll cause a rift but know what? You stood up and let him know you're not his personal doormat. If he makes a real issue out of it and gets mouthy....then either make up your mind it'll never improve and look to dissolve the relationship or stay with him and let him wipe his feet on you.
There are only 2 ways this can go. Tell you what thought...as long as you think ahead and make the decisions on where to go with it you'll always be in control. That in and of itself will be enough to drive his tiny, egotistical mind over the edge. Men like that can't stand the person whom they slap down to have the upper hand. Emasculates them in a way.
Happy neutering baby! Go for it.
2007-08-15 04:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband screw himself litterly! No husband has no right to demand and humilate his wife in front of anyone. He doesnt care how you feel why should you care how he feels. Why are you married to this man. Give him the boot you deserve better. My family has a saying -- "if your gonna get married is to live a better life with your partner, but to live a life of misery better off being by yourself.
2007-08-15 04:28:54 · answer #4 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think there is a lot more going on here than just this one incident. why are you staying upstairs? do you have issues with his family? my hubby has done somethings recently that makes him very embarrassed to be around my family. he doesn't want to go in the house to drop off or pick up the kids because he doesn't want to face my parents. all the things that he is embarrassed about he brought on himself, so i tell him that i don't care what he wants and that he can't hide out from them forever. if you have issues with his family, you need to talk about them.
2007-08-15 04:26:49 · answer #5 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does "don't come down because im embarressed" mean? As in, you don't give oral sex? He said that in front of your in-laws??? I'm confused by your question. Your husband sounds like an insensitive jerk who was trying to make a fool of you in front of him family. Sorry.
2007-08-15 04:25:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put a 45 to his head and pull the trigger!
2007-08-15 04:31:03 · answer #7 · answered by Haidee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya SHOULD have thrown your plate at him and told him that he was right, you were embarrassed to be seen with someone with food all over them.
2007-08-15 04:28:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you both are immature.......Embarrassed about what????
2007-08-15 04:26:19 · answer #9 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋