woman of domestic viooence please help me figure out whats happening..?

Question

so my husband is in jail for DV> i want to bail him out but first i want to see what happens at court today. if its there first offense does anybody have an idea about wehter or not they will just let him walk? or more than likely are they gonna lock him up longer?

Answer 1

get out of it dont let anyone hurt u !!

Answer 2

My dear Danielle, Don't fall into the vicious circle that is the battered wife syndrome! You are the victim of one of the most cowardly and senseless crimes in the US today! Why on earth would you want to bail him out, you put him there! Let him stew in the slammer until he goes to court. Do not desist from filing any and all complaints against him. His behavior WILL NOT improve once out so if it is within your power, through your testimony, don't let him out, period. File for divorce ASAP and get as far away from him as you can right now. Rehabilitation for these troglodytes is 1 out of a million and I doubt he'll be the ONE! Do whatever it takes to keep him as far away from you as possible because if this is his first offense and he gets out, he'll come at you with a vengeance. If you have any kids, more so! They don't need to be part of any of this.

Answer 3

In jail for DV. To you no doubt. And you want to bail him out.

You're both sorry losers. Hope you have a good dental plan or have made pre-funeral arrangements with your local mortician because you'll need at least one or the other.

Love is a beautiful thing.

Answer 4

Odds are he'll get a slap on the wrist and walk. Please do not bail him out. He'll do this again and each time it will get worse until he finally kills you or worse. By worse I mean he'll leave you in a wheelchair. He'll come out of jail and tell you how sorry he is and how he has learned his lesson and he will treat you like a queen until one day you do something that p*sses him off and he'll beat you within a inch of your life. Then again he'll apologize and tell you how much you mean to him and then again you'll be the queen of his world, then you'll p*ss him off and it'll start all over again. PLEASE understand that his behavior is in no way your fault or a reflection on you. He needs help, and you need to get away. It will not get any better. Try to remember if no one else loves you, you love yourself. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You DESERVE love and peace. Whatever you decide I hope and pray that you make the right decision.
Good Luck and God Bless You

Answer 5

I understand how you can be be confused about whether to bail him out or not. To me, the decision would have to be based on the circumstances and the level of violence. Both of which you did not go into detail on. If your gut feeling says it was an isolated occurance then perhaps you can continue the relationship. As far as bailing him out, if his job and security are not in danger leave him there.

I would caution you though on letting yourself be drawn into the the world of victims who feel it is their fault. Never do you have to accept any violence towards yourself or your children. Get out of the relationship fast if it is a re-occurring event.

Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I feel very sorry that you don't have better self esteem than this. There are places that will help you get away from this man. This is not the last time this will happen. I hope you know that. You may think oh he won't do it again, but chances are very high that he will and hurt you so bad or even kill you the next time. You may be thinking oh my husband won't do that. They get a taste of what it feels like to hit and the next time you get on his bad side you will be the brunt of his anger.

Please do not bail this man out. If you do you have no one to balme, but yourself for allowing yourself to get into this situation. Most men are not like this.

Answer 7

never been a victim of domestic violence, but why would you want to bail him out of jail. If he did the crime let him do the time, whether it is his first offense or not, if he did it once he will do it again. You need to watch the burning bed with Farrah Fawcett its an old movie, but she played a women of domestic violence, if you have children you need to think of them, and I know that this is not what you want to hear, but I am sorry, I have seen to many of my friends, and have counseled to many victims on this subject, only to see them in a coffin or children taken away. IF HE HIT YOU ONCE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH HE WILL TELL YOU THAT HE IS SORRY AND THAT HE LOVES YOU AND WON'T DO IT AGAIN, HE IS LYING, AND YOU ARE NOT AT FAULT FOR HIS BAD BEHAVIOR, SO PLEASE LEAVE HIM IN THERE AND RUN.

Answer 8

i am a woman of DV and I can tell you that he needs to seek counciling and you need to get to the very bottom of what is making him hurt you. It's so hard to say for your situation but I would say that there are a lot of factors that play into whether you are safe or not. they don't put guys in jail if they just smacked you around , where I live they put guys in jail for really hurting someone. it's your call. Good Luck and I hope that he doesn;t hurt anyone anymore. He needs to get his anger under control.

Answer 9

if the DV was against you LEAVE my Ex abused me I thought I could change him well this is one of the reasons why we are getting a divorce. My son was watching when he hit me so I had to get out!!! If they hit you once they will always HIT you

Answer 10

DV fence toward you or what........?????
Why you want to bail him out.......You have gotta be strong for your kids, if you have any........but hey..........you should not bail him out at the first place. He needs hard lessons.

Answer 11

Get the hell out of the state!! Do not bail him out, do not have physical contact with him ever again, mail the divorce papers