I think I may need major help!!!!!?

Question

I have posted many times on here about my break up. Me and my ex partener broke up over 2 months ago, and it is getting worse for me. I keep getting upset over it and really struggling to get over it. I thought I had hit rock bottom but it is getting worse. I feel so depressed and last night I even had thoughts of killing myself. I wouldn't do it, but it scared me to death. I was under the impression that time would make it better not worse. God i am a complete mess...

I have just booked in to see a counsellor when I finish work. I have done this before and found that it did not work. This guy is the love of my life and I see no real point in living without him.

Everyone has been really sweet with their answers. I understand that people come through things like this with time. My last relationship was for 4 years and I came through that. This is different. I have no idea why. I tried to go out on a date and that was a complete disaster. My friends are our friends and I am really struggling to trust people with my feelings. I want to be able to tyr and look at things with a positive approach but it is just way to hard. I love him so much, which he knows and I have let him go as he was not happy with me. but what I am left with is myself and these feelings. I have had it.

Answer 1

You are not alone and you are not unusual. This happens. You need to get some counseling. You can look in the yellow pages, or maybe call your church, or talk to your doctor. Whoever you trust.

You'll be ok.

Answer 2

Start by not thinking about how it's getting worse & think how it can get better. I know exactly how you feel. I went through the- ever deepening depression, but I stuck w/friends who cared, focused on some new goals I made and flirted w/every cute girl I could to help boost my ego. It isn't easy but take this time to improve yourself & learn from this. Life throws everyone challenges and the bigger the challenge the bigger the rewards.

Time can't do everything for people. A house will not be built, no matter how long the logs sit in the yard. There needs to be someone to carry the nails & use the hammer... get my drift?

Take up a new hobby. Write. Travel. And I am guessing you do not need major help... find new friends to hang out with. You'll be okay.

Answer 3

Calm down, it happens to everyone at some point in their life and we humans survive and get through it, just round the corner is something ten thousand stimes more special than what you had- but you need to let go of the lolly in order to pick up the cake ( I made that up, quite chuffed really).
Try to look at it logically and reassure yourself you are a normal sane person.
A) It broke up for a reason
B) If they broke up with you they aren't going to ever give you the time of day you deserve. They don't love you.
C) You cant' do anything about people who don't love you.
D) You are a cool person with individual talents and characteristics that people will love-you don't need a partner.
C) This experience will only make you stronger and if you start looking at it as a blessing you will mature.
D) Go out spend time with friends and think positive-don't dwell on the past.
E) You never know, once you've moved on the ex might realise what a listake they've made.
F) Most importantly- you need to break all contact for at least 3 weeks!!!! with your ex that is- you will not get better if the bullet is still in the wound.
Hope this helps, I'm quite impressed with myself really ....lifes too short to feel sorry for yourself- you are an awesome person adn theres noone like you!

Answer 4

Hi Jamie, I have read through your other posts and I have gone through this before too (ex saying he didnt love me anymore). I felt absolute panic when he moved out... I wanted to beg him to stay. After 3 1/2 years I truly loved him more than anything how could he not feel the same?! BUT... as much as I thought I would never meet someone that would come close I did. I am not married and so happy that my prayers were not answered for him to come back to me. You see, better things are going to come your way and you'll be happier. But in the meantime, they say it is 1 month for every year you have been together to make you feel any better and you've only given yourself 2 months. Plus you can't really consider the time you were still living with him after the break up because you were still seeing him everyday and he had told you he still had feelings for you so he was giving you mixed signals. I guarantee he will want you back one day... the problem is that when he does you will have moved on and will be happy. His loss. If you would like to talk / email feel free. Good Luck and keep your chin up. Oh... also I joined www.makefriendsonline.com and that really helped me too to meet some great friends and kill some time.

Jodi x

Answer 5

When a relationship breaks up, it can often take many months to recover. So I'm afraid that 2 months isn't really long enough to give yourself time to get back on your feet. The more pressure you put on yourself to be 'over it', the worse you are likely to feel.
It sounds like you desperately need to talk to someone about this - maybe a close friend, or member of your family? If you can't do this, then maybe keep a journal or diary to help you through the low points. One day you will read through it and think 'God, I survived that, and I'm such a better person now'. Honestly - it sounds like cliched rubbish now, but believe me, it's true.
We've all been there are some point, but you DO get over it. It may take you 6 months, it may take you longer. But try to stay positive and keep strong. Don't expect miracles and allow yourself as long as you need to grieve
Good luck. x

Answer 6

I am so sorry for what you are going through.I know how you feel.(my ex husband left me after 25 years of marriage).You say it has only been 2 months since the breakup, that isn't too long.You need to feel the things you are feeling.It all helps to get everything out.You need to talk to trusted people in your life,maybe talk to a professional.Most of all pray about the things you are going through.one day you will wake up and say to yourself" this is enough,I have to get on with my life". you will get on with your life and you will meet someone so special that you will know why things didn't work out with the other men in your life.Sometimes it's hard to think about what is waiting for you in the future when you are so caught up in the past or in the present. Take all the time you need to get over this.You will learn alot about yourself.You will see how strong you really are.It just takes time.Be patient and really work through it.You will come through this a better person.Someone so special is waiting for you in the future.You will know then why it didn't work out with all the other men in your life.I know this from experience,I remarried 3 months ago. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

My heart goes out to you! It is painful , it is agony and unfortunately the old cliches do apply - time heals. I haven't seen your post before so don't know the history. Not sure if they left you or you left them.

If they left you it is always tougher - you weren't ready to end it , you may not understand it , it makes you insecure and puts a hole in your pride and ego. IT HURTS!!

What you are going through is normal & painful and necessary. Grieving is part of the process of getting through a loss - if you don't do it you will suffer later.

I used to write poems and letters and post them to random addresses and honestly felt like I had got rid of a huge burden. ( felt sorry for the person receiving them!!)

What I can tell you is that you are an individual and not an extension of the other person. You need to find what makes you tick and almost rediscover yourself. Keep yourself busy - do things that you weren't allowed to do in the relationship , join a salsa club , have nights out with friends.

Be yourself - take your time and you will be OK

Answer 8

I know how you feel the way I got a handle on it was by writing it all down each day filled 4 a4 writing pads,that was a lot of stuff that kept going around in my head .Now its 10 months it still hurts even though I asked him to leave.When I look at what I wrote I cant believe how much I have moved on,try it sounds a bit weird but it worked for me good luck I will say a prayer for you.

Answer 9

Everyone experiences heartache and, with time, they move on to better things. One thing you should know is that there will be another person that you will meet, this is a sure thing, regardless of your looks, sexual orientation, etc.

In the meantime, try to occupy your mind and soak up time by doing fun things with friends and family and also through hobbies. But I know that having good friends around during this vulnurable stage is very important. Try to do things with them, whether its hanging out or more social things. Before you know, a month has passed, and then two and before you know it, you've already met someone else...

Answer 10

Jamie for goodness sake no ones worth it yes you are down but you will pick up there is more to life than having a partner like this there is a big world out there waiting yes waiting for you?plenty more fish in the sea,its time to move on,and stop this moping about get out and enjoy your life and be glad you are well and alive and have time to enjoy it?you must get to grips its over and no going back start afresh a get new friends someone special will come into your life again you will reflect and think on how stupid you were we all do this its part of life you will heal don't go down the road ,of medication and getting down and down get on the up?go for a massage/reflexology that will perk you up swimming and take care of you and your body this guy don't let him ruin your life take care,and enjoy your life

Answer 11

Hi Jamie!
It has only been two months and sometimes when you are really in love it takes sometime to get over that person. I think that you should see a therapist or a counselor about your feelings of committing suicide. You are a wonderful person and you will meet someone who appreciates you for you. I hope that you will consider speaking with someone about this. I wish you the best of luck!! God Bless!!