my ex and i were divorced and reconciled for 3 years. last jan. she left for another man got engaged and is now married. The problem is she won't let me be. i have worked very hard to get over the heartbreak, but she keeps in contact. The last four days she has been calling and asking for advice etc. We do have kids but her conversations always drift away from them.Yesterday she called and left a voicemail, then a few hours later called four times within eight minutes. When i asked her why she said her cell wasnt working and heard music on the line. Just being married for two weeks you would think i would be the furthest thing from her mind. She wanted me to promise to call her today about somthing,which i shall not do. i really do not want to be friends as i am still healing,but she seems to not let go. She made the comment last week that myself and her new hubby are very similar,very similar..except..and she did not elaborate and i didnt ask what the "except" was. What is going on?
2007-08-15 02:39:07 · 14 answers · asked by pheggie101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she doesnt want to let go but wants what she has too.tell her that you will no longer answer her calls and the only time she needs to call you if there an emergency about the kids.
2007-08-15 02:48:50 · answer #1 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like she is finding out that the grass isn't much greener on the other side... And is probably noticing similarities between you and her new beau and wondering why she really left?? But, personally i wouldn't trust it working out and putting your heart back in that situation, because it would only be a matter of time before she thinks she has found someone better- then you'll be back at square one all over again. Unless of course, she is truly sorry and realizes how much she hurt you and vows for it to never happen again. Everyone deserves a second chance. BUt after that, you are just playing the fool.
2007-08-15 03:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by trisha b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Distance yourself from her. Stop taking her calls, just let them go to voicemail and then call her back only if it concerns one of your children. Keep her on track in the conversation and the moment it drifts away from the kids, get another call, need to answer the door or simply say "sorry, got to go". Keep doing this until she gets the message. Your ex is someone who see the greener grass depending on the side of the fence she is on. You have already fallen for this twice, absolutely do not do this again. And why haven't you moved on with your life? If you aren't dating, then get to it. A girlfriend in your life would significantly put a damper on her behavior. Remember, you do not have a relationship with this manipulative woman, she is simply the mother of your kids and that's where it should end if you are a smart man.
2007-08-15 02:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I under stand that you and your wife was divoice you had children by this woman and she has moved on and married again she should not be calling you for advice. You have been going through some hard times your self to get over the heart ache she has cause you. If she calls you about the kids one thing if she calls you for advice its another just let her know you dont care to discuss her personal life out side the kids. I will pray for you to become stronger. Best of luck
2007-08-15 02:58:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She thinks of you more like a brother I think. That's why she is running to you with stuff other than the kids. Just tell her that you are there for her in regards to the kids but nothing else. If she needs something, she should be talking to her husband now.
She is headed for real trouble in her marriage if she keeps contacting you for non-children related stuff.
2007-08-15 03:06:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how strange, she has been married for 2 weeks and calling you at all hours. maybe already bored of new husband.
tell her to call about the children or do this make up a schedule when you are supposed to have the children and when she is. email to her and new husband.
what she is doing is inappropriate.
keep a log of all the calls she makes. your telephone bill. talk only about children only. if she drifts, tell her you have to go, maybe eventually will get the message. if she persists call her home and leave a message to that effect about the inappropriate phone calls.
2007-08-15 02:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is realizing that she made a mistake. She wants to have her husband and keep you hanging on just in case. Don't allow her to do that. Keep your conversations short and sweet and about the kids. When she starts to veer off, tell her you need to get going. Allow yourself the time you need to heal and don't get involved in her head games. I know that you will find a woman who wll appreciate you. I wish you the best of luck!!
2007-08-15 02:57:10 · answer #7 · answered by frawlicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to run and run fast. she is not over you and wants someone just like you. Be a good dad to your kids and then that is it. Tell her all other stuff is off limits. You can go to court and even get your kids picked up and dropped off to a third party. don't let her get to you and just take care of yourself. If the conversations turn off your kids hang up. Let her know that you are not going to be sucked back in basically to her schemes.
2007-08-15 02:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by chris d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's going on is she doesn't want to feel that she lost you completely from her life..My ex-husband and I are going through a similar thing except he wants me to meet his girlfriend who he has a 15 month old son with who he LIED about...I still have unreslove anger and feelings and can't find my way to move on altogether without having the closure that I need...We have two boys together and they have not met her neither and they also just found out about their half brother, so basically I have alot going on as well...But, I came to realized where you might too, Is that our ex's don't feel complete in their lifes without holding on to us...It's not fair to us as if they couldn't be with us then why want us still there...I hope you find your peace and journey to your NEW life.....
As I am finding mines***
2007-08-15 03:02:12 · answer #9 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude you got to stop answering your calls when its her, its the only way. The more she is in your life the worse its going to be if you get another woman. Plus she wants her cake and to eat it to, and only chumps let there woman get away with that. Your relationship to her needs to only be one thing picking up the kids and leaving, no argueing, but no flirting either.
2007-08-15 02:57:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a nice man to admit this even. I can appreciate that! You have it correct. This may be hard but you'll have to tell her all of this. Poor thing, she may be a little mixed up and not aware. She needs to talk to her girls or a counselor, not you with all respect. She's being oblivious maybe insensitive is all. Hope you patch it up for yourself. Good luck!!
2007-08-15 02:50:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋