After a very very trying weekend of my husband and I verbally attacking eachother, I snapped and told him it was over and gave him my rings back. Now, I did NOT mean this at all, and the sane part of me knew it was terrible, but I still did it.
My husband put my rings back on my hand and we have been very intimate and passionate since then. I am very sorry for the cruel thing I did to him, and want him to know he can trust me again.
Suggestions and advice are very welcome, but please do not chastise me.
Thank you.
2007-08-15 02:38:52 · 12 answers · asked by C K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look into taking some anger management classes. Doing or saying things that you don't mean is an unhealthy and dangerous way of dealing with your anger (as you've discovered). Taking a course to help you find constructive ways of dealing with your anger will show your husband that you're serious about making amends, and it will also help you to handle your anger better during future arguments. Even getting a book on anger management techniques or buying a DVD or CD of anger management seminars would be a great start!
2007-08-15 02:51:33 · answer #1 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't condone what happened, but it sounds like your husband is stressed out--perhaps from being overworked, particularly now that he knows your unemployment has run out. If it was the child's bedtime, why hadn't you put him to sleep? How long does he stay up past his bedtime, and whose idea is that? Why did you threaten to call the cops, when that wasn't your intention? And why are you the only one who can make the child go to sleep? Since you knew that your unemployment was running out, what plans have you made for going back to work, or is it your intention to be a stay at home mom and drop the financial burden on your husband? There are a lot of grey areas here and I'm not going to be so quick to take your side. You may very well be the controlling wife your husband says you are.
2016-05-18 03:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know there was a question on this post where a woman's husband does this exact same thing when they argue. He said hurtful things stomps off and then comes back for forgiveness.
Why is it when a guy does it all the women say ITS ABUSE. but when the women do it?
I have the same answer. Get some therapy and learn some conflict resolution techniques.
Anger management is not the answer. Anger management is a crock of BS.
Learn how to resolve your conflict WITHOUT THE ANGER!
That is the key.
2007-08-15 02:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People who over dramatize every little situation are looking for attention. You and your husband need to learn to communicate appropriately and learn to fight effectively. I would suggest some short term marital counseling for just that purpose. Your marriage isn't in trouble now, but a couple of decades of that nonsense and you are going to wind up to old to leave a relationship where you both hate each other.
And there are plenty of people who enjoy the "making up" after an argument and sometimes instigate things for just that purpose. You might want to explore that.
2007-08-15 03:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen people say things in the middle of heated argument that they feel bad about. if your husband has forgiven you stop beating yourself up. I suggest the next time you watch what you say cause this could do great damage to your marriage. Best of luck
2007-08-15 02:51:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not chastise you? You deserve it for being such a drama queen - now stop it and grow up. BTW, you and your husband might think about getting some counseling
2007-08-15 02:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and loyalty issues are VERY important to men. When you violate that trust, however slightly, it can rarely be repaired. In the back of his mind, he has doubts about you now. He will quietly speculate whether you are having an affair and how to divorce you and keep his assets. Frankly, in the long run, I don't think there is hope for you after this violation of his trust.
2007-08-15 02:48:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Time will heal the wound.
Other than loving him, and making sure to never behave in that way again, there's not too much you can do. It's impossible to force healing on him.
I wish you the best!!!
2007-08-15 02:47:44 · answer #8 · answered by diva_500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me there isn't a problem. In fact, it really looks like YOU are making a problem where its obvious one doesn't exist.
Quit delving into it and keep the intimacy and passion going.
2007-08-15 03:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal and my wife has done this a few times. I wouldn't worry about it if things are back to normal. Guys know their wife might say crazy things sometimes, just let him know you are glad he understands you.
2007-08-15 02:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋