what is the best present you give your wife (feeling ! romantic one)?

Question

I cheated around ( i admit its a mistake) .. what can i do to make myself having peice of mind: my wife did not know.. what shall i buy her ?

i mean peace of mind not peice of mind!!

spell mistake!

Answer 1

I disagree. How about Marriage and individual counseling. There is a reason you fooled around. Something was wrong with your marriage and throwing money or gifts at it isn't going to fix the original problem, nor is just fessing up. You've got to get to the core problem and fix it first or it's going to happen again.

Maybe she's just as unhappy as you but hasn't strayed. Maybe she has. Who knows. Have you considered the possibility of her fooling around as well? If you aren't happy then chances are she's not either.

If neither of you are talking about any problems or that there are any that even exist there is a HUGE white elephant in the room and you all are just cohabitating and coexisting. Your marriage is in deeper trouble than you think.

I would get on the phones immediately, find a marriage counselor, make an appointment As soon as possible. If you have children look for someone to take them for a day or two. Then ask her to talk. Television off. Radio off. Phone off. Cell off. Etc. Actually have a discussion. Just the two of you without distractions. Talk about the relationship. If she's happy. What she thinks. Tell her you've made an appointment for individual and couple's therapy. Tell her why. Tell her if you love her. Tell her if it was actually a mistake. Tell her why you did it. Tell her if you still love her. Try to explain to her if you love her why you would put your relationship at risk. Only you have the answer to those questions. She's going to ask them 101 times, and you need to answer. Calmly.

You can't get angry. You can't lose your cool. You did it. Not her. You are going to have to walk on egg shells for a bit, while this sinks in. While she is in shock, while she cries, and mourns. While she goes through the process. She's going to get angry as well. Hopefully by that time you all will be in the counselor's office.

Whatever you do, don't blame her. Don't be nasty to her. Be patient, be kind, be loving, reassuring, apologetic, and sincere. She has a lot to think about.

Also, make arrangements to sleep somewhere else in the house besides your marital bed for the next few days or weeks. Whether it's the couch, a guest bed, a friends house, or a hotel. Respect her.

If you lose your temper and go off on her, it's only going to be worse for you, your marriage, and your family in the end. The damage you've done is going to be hard pressed to over come. However it can be done. It's how you deal with the fallout that is going to either put more or less pressure on the marriage.

Answer 2

Whatever you do, DO NOT TELL HER WHAT YOU DID!!!!

This sounds like like a bad and dishonest thing to do, but let's consider it: What happens when you tell her? YOU will feel better and SHE will be in tears. Why should she feel bad because you messed up? And consequently, what makes you think you have earned the right of making yourself feel better at HER expense? Get the idea?

If you feel bad, well, it is your mess. Learn to live with it. Having to look at yourself in the mirror should be punishing enough. Don't punish her as well by telling her she's been living a lie. You will have to give this a place in your head and your head alone. If you feel remorse, do better next time. If you don't, well, why are you still married?

Also, and trust me on this, not a single present will make her feel better. A physical present will not repair the emotional damage. In fact, it will do the opposite. Again, you might feel better because you 'gave her something to ease the pain'. Yeah....

Turn the situation around: imagine your wife comes home and tells you she's been going at it with another guy. But hey! There's good news: she bought you a car! I don't know about you but for me the car would only serve as a reminder of her infidelity for as long as it would be in my possession. I wouldn't even want to drive it.

Answer 3

Give her a written legal document, saying that she can gain possession of ALL your assets and belonging, if you cheat again, while in a relationship with her. :P

Seriously though you really should show her and swear to her that you won't do it again.

This is just me, but I find that food really makes me happy (I'm a big food-lover. It's a wonder i'm so small haha.)

Take her out for the most delicious food you can afford, show her a really nice time out on the town. After that, take her to a beautiful hotel. Or take her to the country for the weekend (or the whole week is even better ;D).

It doesn't have to be a material thing, just wonderful, bonding and romantic experiences like that I'm sure would really help the situation.

Answer 4

i dont think you need to buy her anything. if you want to have peace of mind... the only way is to tell her what you did. she might *or actually... she will* get mad at you... but she wont be as mad as if she found out without you telling her. distrust will follow... but at least you told her. buying things for her wont make your guilt go away... you would be just decieving yourself.

dont get me wrong... im only saying this because my parents were divorced because my dad cheated on my mom. she found out without him telling her. and it didnt end well.

but if you MUST buy her something... buy her something from your heart. something you know she would like. you most of all should know what kind of person she is... and what she would appreciate the most.

good luck

Answer 5

Why don't you tell her the truth first.. I know I would be very painfull.. but you made a real big mistake, just be honest to her and give her a surprise dinner, and cook for her if you know how to cook...