Or so I've heard from some friends (and from some of my experience) particularly on the scene ... where many times you are expected to be young and fashionable with a slim or gymfit body ... and people who do not fit this stereotype are often discriminated against.
Have you had an unpleasant experience on the scene? Or on the contrary do you find the scene very accepting of LBGTs who do not "fit the mould"?
I'd like to hear your experiences.
2007-08-14 22:59:41 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey, Charlie!!!!
I drive a Ford Ranger and I aint a butch lesbian!
And, yeah, there is defo some discrimination on the gay scene, most particularly by the typical stereotypes: those who are young, skinny or gym-fit and wear fashionable clothes!
It seems so much that if you don't fit a preset list of prerequisites, you are on the shelf.
Since I don't fit any of the criteria (I am 43, slim and dress as I please) I have been banished to the land of banishment.
The gay scene is not a happy place
2007-08-15 08:54:51 · answer #1 · answered by Room_101 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I answered a question similar to this a while back. I have always been told that I dont look like a Lesbian.
I finally asked someone what a Lesbian is supposed to look like.
The response was a descriptor of my ex, who was Stone Butch, ( short hair, mens clothes, drove a Ford ranger pickup, etc.) So I explained to this person, ( who is now so proud of the knowledge) how many different types of Lesbians there are. That was both in and out of the LGBT community.
I also dont "live" to be Gay.
I AM Gay, and I am secure in my lifestyle, so I am not out screaming to the world that this is the life I live.
I have been "scolded", and reprimanded by some in the past in the LGBT community that I am not involved in every aspect of what they deem to be our way of life.
I am very passionate about our rights, BUT I have not agreed with everything. This has made me a "perpetrator "in some in the communities eyes.
Anyway, our community is broken up into so many different groups and lifestyles, and YES I have seen blatant discrimination; some dont get the Butch+Butch dynamic, Trans gender is a huge issue, I know alot of folks who cant stand Stone Femmes as they believe they are also phony, and are "luring" our Stones away from us.
There is also the whole Lesbians are not supposed to get along with Gay men thing. I see and hear that at times, and I think its b.s. as I have such a large diverse group of friends in the LGBT community.
I cant and WONT fit into anyones mould, of how I am supposed to dress, and whom I should befriend.
2007-08-14 23:40:17 · answer #2 · answered by charlie B 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 41 y/o, 6'6", 250lbs gay man who doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs of any kind (never have), dresses comfortably (jeans and polo shirts), gets a $10 haircut... and is also a Christian.... so I definately don't fit the "scene". But I've also learned that anyone who cannot accept that I'm not a 30 something who goes to the gym 6 times a week isn't really worth my time. I am who I am, and I'm happy about it.
2007-08-15 05:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by Tim A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being discriminated against by a clique is not the same as being discriminated against by the entire community and that is what you are describing. There are many groups of people who don't fit into the plastic, gym bunny, fashion orientated stereotype, perhaps seeking them out would help.
2007-08-15 00:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always felt that I had to be real skinny to fit in but I don't I have a little tummy My friend is real pretty and her tummy doesn't stick out so I use to hate going to places like the mall with her because most boys notice her first and not me. And I've said I'll try and loose my tummy but I never do it makes me fill not discriminated against but simply left out so yea I some what know where your coming from.
2007-08-14 23:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by MrsValo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everybody discriminates no matter who they are. There are just certain people who are more accepting than others. It's the same way for straights, and other races and as I'm sure you've noticed, definitely with religions.
2007-08-14 23:22:07 · answer #6 · answered by IndiHippi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thankfully I have never had this experience.But I seem to notice very compassionate gays who aren't judgemental like other people tend to be.I guess it has to be looked at this way.In every culture,clique,group,etc...You are always going to have someone who can't except you.No matter what you wear,say,or do it will not change anything.No one can change someones point of view except the person itself.I have been through this too many times to count.Trust me no matter how hard you try to change yourself to please someone else it will never make a difference.It will only change who you are and that is not staying true to yourself.
2007-08-14 23:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by kenn d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there
From my own personal experience, yes you can get discriminated against, i often get called p@ki and my girlfriend, (who is white) isn't allowed in the Asian night gay do here in Birmingham!! Jokers or what??
I personally do not have anything against, size, shape, colour etc etc, just my freaky ex!!!
Pav xx
2007-08-15 04:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by Pav Akhtar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure. I can't get a job at 'The Advocate' because they hire predominantly gay people. That's discrimination, and everyone knows discrimination is wrong!!!
Why should I be denied a job because my sexual orientation is different?
I'm suing them, and with any luck, I'll put them out of business.
2007-08-15 00:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Dr Jello 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
most people will find something to be critical about.
i do like to think that because we are a minority, that we are more supportive of "different" folks.
but to respond to your first question, i'd say yes, we discriminate too.
2007-08-14 23:19:12 · answer #10 · answered by midnight 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋