I did not believe in love, and found emotions messy and illogical, so when I met a nice grounded guy I married him, knowing that I didn't love him, just wanting to get out of the dating game. I went to therapy when I started having problems with repressed emotions, and now I want to embrace love, but do not love my husband - I married him specifically because I knew we would spent a lot of time apart. Should I stay with him out of duty, or be honest about how I feel and leave?
2007-08-14 22:47:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for being so supportive...
I had my reasons for doing what I did, at the time it seemed right and logical...not everyone learns the value of emotion and love straight away.
2007-08-14 23:06:43 · update #1
Be honest. You're only going to end up hurting everyone more if you stay with him out of duty, especially if you have kids in the future.
2007-08-14 22:59:34 · answer #1 · answered by h1u4sxda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your husband know you didn't love him when you married, or was it an arrangement you had with him? If he thought you loved him then he has a right to know he was married under false pretenses. I'm sure in that case he will want to separate but you will have to break it to him gently. If it was an arrangement between the two of you then it's more of a business deal so you shouldn't have any worries telling him.
I think either way you owe it to your husband to leave - if he's a nice guy that fell in love with you then he deserves the chance to have a relationship where his wife loves him back. And even though it wasn't right to marry him like you did - you still deserve happiness too. Good luck, and good for you getting counselling.
2007-08-14 23:01:44 · answer #2 · answered by Janey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a loser or idiotic - only the people who said this obviously have nothing better than to abuse people who have genuine questions.
It sounds to me like you were very young and niave to got yourself into this mess, however now you have learnt what love can provide you cannot remain in a loveless marriage, you are being dishonest to yourself AND your husband. You need to talk to him seriously about this he may want you to stay but you have to work through it. If you cant bear the thought of staying then dont - just be honest about it to your husband. There may be a lot of hurt but honesty is always the best policy in emotional situations such as this. Good luck.
2007-08-14 23:50:59 · answer #3 · answered by Buggirl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Love is just not a emotion that you express, it is felt by your soul... love is not happening to you for your husband coz u feel that u are in this blessed relationship with a no love notion. Stop sonjana..marriage is just not emotions in tangle or mess. It is sacrifice yr ego of not falling in love with your husband should be earsed, begin your first steps and move towards him with the pure thought of love. remain in this marriage, make it work with love and you will be loved. What if you met, one, two, 3 4 5 6 7 & 8th man and never fell in love?? Make this magic happen with your first man...shut your thoughts to other men....if any?
2007-08-14 23:13:09 · answer #4 · answered by sky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have one hell of a situation. I can understand why your so torn. But in honesty, life is about being happy and content with yourself. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with a man you married who you do not love. Or do you want to leave him and find love and actually do something for yourself that i believe every person deserves?
Just follow your heart. Do you think you'll ever find love with your husband? Or do you think its absolutely not possible? I mean i can tell you exactly what to do, but its not my place, nor is it anyone else's.
and who knows, maybe if you start hanging around your husband more often, you just might fall in love with him.
2007-08-14 23:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by soul 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it isn't the answer you want, but you made a vow...a committment...a promise. Maybe if you spent some time thinking of why you do care about your husband instead of thinking about how you don't love him, you will find he means more to you than you thought.
2007-08-14 23:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband about wanting his love and compassion.May be he feels the same way so you both win and can keep the marriage in tact.
2007-08-14 23:06:12 · answer #7 · answered by noona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well that is certainly sad. if you aren't happy and now find maybe you can build a life now well i guess the only thing is to tell him but sure he won't really understand. that is going to be hard for him and just get a new life and be happy.
2007-08-18 17:30:37 · answer #8 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need your heart to be well. You should find someone to love, but not complicate any separation issues by looking prior to divorce.
2007-08-14 23:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by duanehofner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if ur not happy then y put urself threw that tell him and that was a mistake for doing that gettitng married just fo the hell of it
2007-08-14 22:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋