So, a better way to go out than "with a bank"...?

Question

I'm not gonna make any excuses. I'm in a horrible position in my life because of myself, and I've got noone to blame. Honestly, I've thought about just giving up for quite some time now, but now, everything that's ever went wrong, every person I've had some sort of traumatic experience, seems to just be all around me (not figuratively; i mean literally).Ever since I was a kid, I've had poor self-esteem, and every day, *somebody* bashes something about me, to the point I actually wish I were dead.

I guess the stupidest part, though, is that the only reason I'm still hanging on, is because how much I love my family. I've brought up that I've had the feelings in the past, but they always seem to just totally dismiss it. Now, I'm broke, the only woman I ever cared about (and broke my heart) is moving back, and noone seems to even give a **** that I don't want to be around her. But the thought of my family being sad, because of me, makes me feel even more depressed. How can I start over?

I'm just tired of being depressed every single day, and people always telling me "be more confident", yet constantly point out my flaws. I just wish I could start a new life, in another state, one that I could call "mine"; all new people, friends, everything. But here in the town I live in, everyone seems to be connected, so it's basically impossible for me to start "a clean slate".

I'm too overweight to get into the military. Are there any other options, that don't require money, or much education? (I got pulled out of school only, and had to get a GED; not by choice)

Answer 1

pop a prozac, go to community college, get a job.
MIKE

Answer 2

Aw, that really sucks. I know how you feel but think on the plus side, at least you have family. And maybe they dismiss your feelings because they are too afraid to lose you or maybe they just think you aren't serious. You should sit down and have a serious chat to one of them or all, then they might really comprehend that it's serious.
But don't give up or do anything, your life is still worth it. As far as women, go there are plenty more fish in the sea, as hard as it sounds. And, I'm sorry to hear so many people are cruel to you, people make me so mad. But you have to just try to deal with it, people are people. BUT, there's a chance to find a new love. Maybe just get a part time job and save some money so you can go on a working holiday? Like backpack or something. Just to get your head in order.
Or become a trawler? Like people that work on boats. Or do a trade. I'm sure there's plenty of things you can do and if you want to lose weight, you just need motivation.
Good luck, you can do this!!!

Answer 3

You should talk to your doctor and see a therapist. Self-esteem is confidence built from COMPETENCE. So, what are you good at? What can you do? Who can you help? People (your family) love you, so you obviously have some value to others.