I discovered that my husband has a girl in china and he admitted it and asking for forgiveness,he said he want to save our family so he is asking for another chance,we have a 5 year old daughter,his girlfriend is a 25 year old working in a club and their relationship is about 6 mnths. What should I do? What if he already fall in love with that girl?
2007-08-14 17:35:01 · 31 answers · asked by jlo1206 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Where is your husband now? Of course you have to forgive him if he knows what he has done is wrong. The girl in China is a club girl obviously trying to squeeze him for money, she doesn't love him nor does he love her. He just want her as a sexual companion only. You and husband has a nice family already.. They isn't anywhere to know how much he has fallen in love with the girl, or you will know when he doesn't come home anymore. You should starts to see how to improve your attention on him, are you lacking something that the other girl has? Men always look outwards when their wives ignore them and the other girl outside know how to makes him happy and contented, ah, thats the beginning of the end, if you still do not improving yourself. It is usually after marriage, the wife do not pay as much attention to the husband as before their marriage, the women always thought that she has secure the man already, so no need to be so nice to him now, which is wrong. So one day if he happens to meet some nice and understanding woman, you guess what would happen? Well, its still not too late because he is asking you for forgiveness, so the marriage is still intact. Good luck to you!
2007-08-19 20:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by mako 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmmmmm he has a girl in china? where do u live? because if this is just a romance say through the internet, thats bad enough but it wouldnt be physically cheating although its emotionally cheating but alittle easier to get over.. then an actual physical relationship, but either way u need to figure out if this is something u can get past or not.. if not then u are just wasting each others time, even though u have a daughter together. I personally wouldnt be able to get over that.. but thats me.. so only u know ur heart, and u know ur soul, and u know if ur husband can actually be faithful to u or not, or if this is just a ploy to get u to forgive him until he feels like cheating again.
2007-08-14 18:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that he dishonored you and disrespected you by cheating, should be something you consider before giving him another chance. Some guys take forgiveness the wrong way and basically just use it as a "license to cheat". If you give him another chance, he may just do it again or continue this long distance relationship. Even if you do not give him another chance, he can still be a father and be a big part of his daughters life if you will let him.
Good Luck
2007-08-14 17:49:54 · answer #3 · answered by ang1492 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, six months is a pretty long affair to keep going. You should take a break to think about what you really want, and things like, what other secrets is he hiding? Would this be too much for your daughter? Did you do anything to make him have to find someone else? And, most important of all, can you still trust him? Personally, I would have left him or kicked him out as soon as I found out.
2007-08-14 18:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by h1u4sxda 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I firmly believe that if a person loves you and expresses to you that they do, that they should stick by their word and let nothing sway them. There is a problem today with more people than ever that makes society think that it's okay to be with more than one person. When you marry someone, you're supposed to turn over your heart, mind and life to this person. You work together as a team to make one another happy. For some reason, he's under the impression that you're fine with him fulfilling needs elsewhere. The abuse has to stop somewhere. If you don't do it now, you might never do it. This isn't about him anymore - he messed that up when he thought of himself. You have to think of what is best for you and your little girl. Don't give her the impression that what her daddy did to you is okay. Stand up for yourself and for her future.
2007-08-14 17:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by eharejay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a second chance and make it clear there won't be a third. You should negotiate a good deal like making him promise to never ever see the other woman again. He is risking not only his life but yours too by hooking up with that girl from the club. Finally, take a reality check. Ask yourself if you might have given the hubby a reason to stray.
2007-08-14 17:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by the asthmatic assassin 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would try. For the sake of your daughter and I am sure you still love him. He will have to understand that he broke your trust and will be subject to you scrutiny. He absolutely desearves that and should understand your distrust. He will have to regain your trust. Trust takes time. He also can have no contact with this women or it is over. GOD I am so sorry you are going through this. How can a women that knows a man is married do this? That is if she knew. It undermines all women. We need to look out for each other. Good luck and god bless.
2007-08-14 18:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is truly a tough and hurtful situation, however you need to remember you married him for a reason. Marriage is supposed to be through thick and thin. I say give him another chance with the promise of marital counseling. I agree though that that is a horrible thing for anyone to go through. Also maybe take a vacation together and see how it goes.
2007-08-14 17:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive him and if you feel that the marital problems can be solved perhaps with outside help if needed then that is wonderful! But if you feel that you will not trust him ever again and will always be paranoid and questioning his every move(perhaps causing fighting) or perhaps your marital problems have gone beyond repair, consider if it will be emotionally healthy for you. Your daughter adds a different dynamic to the problem but staying together for a child is not going to be good for you or for them. Respect yourself, because he decided this path.
2007-08-14 17:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sunny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 6 month relationship is not just a mistake. It shows he really is not remorseful regarding the affair. I would seriously think about whether you'll ever be able to trust him again. It seems to me he will very likely do it again. Are you willing to live the rest of your life with that hanging over your head? I wouldn't be. I'd divorce him but make sure he is still an active part of your daughter's life.
2007-08-14 17:48:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋