I'm in love with my boyfriend. He is my soulmate. He is everything I have dreamed about. But problems.......

Question

I have met my soulmate. I laugh sometimes, unbelieving what a great man I have found. I sincerely love him and believe there is no one else ANYWHERE, who is as good for me as my boyfriend. We are meant to be together.
But, we have problems.
Number one, we haven't been intimate AT ALL in the past 4 months. We were very "active" during the first month, then, it just stopped. We barely even kiss anymore. And, most of the time, we sleep in separate beds.
Number two, he thinks our relationship is perfectly fine, and he claims not to remember the first month we were together, when he was everything I've ever dreamed of. He DOESN'T remember. That bothers me so much. How can he not remember how happy we were, how we planned to get married as soon as possible, how we've talked about adopting kids, etc. He doesn't remember.
He does have a sleeping disorder, he has mild sleep apnea. He also is bipolar.
Do I stay with him and hope things get better, or do I try to move on?

Answer 1

It is most likely the Bipolar Disorder doing this.. My ex husband is severly BP.. He says things and forgets sometimes the very next day..And he will swear he never said it..
Many bipolars have pscosis ( pschotic episodes) as well.. my ex does.. He can be ok one minute and flip the next..
It can be very scarey to deal with at times.. especialy if they go off meds..Does your lover take meds? alot of times they forget or feel better and think they don't need them..
It became with my ex I was his caregiver.. he can't handle any kind of stress at all..
Like I said they can be very scarey people..
If I were you i'de search info on bipolar.. its not the sleep apnea that is doing this.. and hon chances are he really doesn't remember that first month as he was probably in a manicy phase.. where emotions are like elated.. they tend to be either extremly happy or extremly miserable.. with those i've known anyhow.. there is no normalcy.. no middle line so to speak..
I personaly couldn't handle the not knowing which of him was going to wake up everyday.. it seems to of gotten worse over the years.. my daughter wants nothing to do with him.. she is scared to death of him.. because he threated her once.. of course he doesn't remember it and swears he didn't.. this is how bp people w/o meds go off and go postal at work etc.
Many BPs do lead pretty normal lives.. but there will always be the ups and downs going on.. andthe not remember them..
So hon the question is.. can you handle it?.. is it what you want?
Blessed Be and you will find the right choice.. nobody can do it for you
Moon

Answer 2

Usually, I would recomend staying with someone you claim to be your soul mate but this guy refuses to recall or even acknowledge the first month the two of you were together. And since that month, your intimate moments have gone from frequent to non-existent... The fact that you both sleep in seperate beds only four months into your relationship is a tell tale sign that all is not right in your Utopian world.
I would pack my bags and leave while there is still some diggnity left for you to cling to. You may view him as your soul mate but it appears those feelings are one way only. I mean, he believes your current arangement is just fine and... keeping in mind that you are a gay couple... no sex with each other for four months is a little off. Keep in mind that a sudden change in sexual urges and actions is an indication of depression... and if this is the case, you are just as affected as he is.
But if you do insist that the two of you remain together, insist that he goes to get some therapy... and purchase him some of those memory pills seen on TV. Living with someone suffering from the Bipolar disorder has to be intersting to say the least and since you claim to be so in love with him, that aspect does not seem to bother you so much.


I wish you the best of luck with the decision you have to make. Despite my recomendation, I do hope above all else that the love you two have will work out...

Answer 3

Perhaps you should stop sleeping in separate beds. Find a way to sleep TOGETHER even if you need earplugs. Talk with him about how things don't seem "fine" to you and you miss the emotional connection between you sexually. It's not all about orgasm - it's a healthy part of all relationships to bond and get intimate through lovemaking. I don't know how old you both are or how long you've been together, so I cannot advise you on whether I think you should or shouldn't stay with him. I WILL say this: All relationships takes work from both of you if you want it to last. Good luck.

Answer 4

You will have to follow your heart but don't let it lead you into dispare. We always want to be Loved and in our imagination, we create a fantasy that that person Loves us just like we Love them. It is called denial and we put up with a lot hoping that things will change back to what we think it should be and it doesn't sometimes. So what are the signs. Do you feel it like you want to. Some relationships are just about sex. That is temporary. Everyone puts on the dog when they first meet. Our passions run wild. You see there has to be something more than sex in a relationship. There has to be a common friendship and respect. If a relationship is not serving you, get out and get on with your life. It will hurt for a while but there is possible another train coming down the track for you. Sounds like you want him to be your soul mate. Maybe he is, but you see you can have about 1000 soul mates. There is one soul who is called a twin flame and only one. Perhaps he is not the twin flame you think he is. Also if he is, it doesn't say that you are supposed to be together. You may just be in this temporary relationship for lessons and then moving on! snap.
Best to you and don't let others treat you differently that you deserve to be treated.
Rev. TomCat

Answer 5

Sounds like you've already passed the 'honeymoon' stage of the relationship.

If he's told you the relationship is fine you need to take him at his word. But if the current situation isn't doing it for YOU, you need to discuss it with him. If after this and repeated discussions no progress seems to be made, you're probably better off moving on because you aren't meeting each other's emotional and physical needs. Yes, there will be no one else like him in the world. But, fortunately, there will be others who are just as good a match. Maybe better. Good luck.

Answer 6

My Mother is bipolar and it was know picnic to grow up around her. She would cry for know reason yell at me for the tiniest things etc. so if he is not on meds then he should be it will help so much my mom just started taking med 2 yrs ago and its made things so much better. Maybe with his bipolar disorder he has trouble recalling good time you may one to give him more time and see what happens but don't ever let your hole life pass by being miserable if he does not change and you can't deal with it by all means move on.

Answer 7

I just read your problem while ago, and i really don't have any solution for this and i walked away, but i just seem this is problem is more horrible and awkward, but I'm sorry and I'm going to have to say that he might be wont have the feeling with you anymore, or he just a player or who isn't a true lover, and he doesn't right for you, i hope i didn't hurt you, but that is just i think it is.
- all i can do is wish the best on your relationship, and i also hoping that it going to workout for you guy.

Answer 8

If he's bipolar it won't get better, so leave now. My aunt is bipolar and a couple months ago she was screaming and ranting up and down her street in the nude. He might be really good and nice now, but he's gonna get a lot more unreliable and erratic. That's what happened to my aunt anyway....

Answer 9

That's a hard question. My best advice, is to stay with him for a while, and if things don't get better, try to move on. I know it can be hard, but you'll find someone else.

Best Wishes!

Answer 10

Please go under "add additional details" and state how long you've been together.

If you have only been together for 5 months, then the bloom has fallen off the rose too quickly and you need to move on.

If you have been together more than 9 months, then that's life.