can an ex-girlfriend keep my husbands child from him even though he pays child support?

Question

we have been together for 4 1/2 yrs. now and she wont let my husbands child come to our house because she dont like me, eventhough she has never given me a chance. is that legal or what do we do because it probably makes him think his dad dosent care which is not true. and she tells him that he cant come here cuz i'm a bad mom. i feel i am a pretty good mom. and shes the bad mom cuz she wont let her son see his father because of her jealously. help what do we do

well they were never married so when he set up support they didnt automatically set up visitation. they had an agreement but when we got together that stopped, it was like if he wasnt with her she didnt want him with anyone. im not from around here so she dosent know me at all just my name. all she calls for is money but she lives with her parents drives a brand new car( which we are probably paying for) and gets mad when we dont give her extra. but we have a 3yr old and live on our own but she dosent care about that we pay her more each month than we pay for rent. its crazy.

so your saying he cant have a life or anymore children cuz he already had one. thats crazy, i totally agree he should pay support im not saying he shouldnt. but what he gives her should be enough, she has no other bills we pay his medical bills thats not included in his support its extra and we do that on our own for him.

Answer 1

Visitation and child support are two totally different things. They are dealt with in different ways. If there is no visitation order, she can do what ever she wants. He must get an order. The fee for filing is none to minimal. If he has an order of visitation then you must obied by the order. If she does not than, all he has to do is report it to the court and she will be in contempt of court. So, if there is no order, send him to the court to file for visitation. He has the right to have his child in his home. If you have had NO child abuse or neglect charges against you, then you have nothing to worry about.

Get a visitation order! If she violates, she goes to jail. That is the answer.

Edit: If he is paying to much in child support than request a review. He can do this for free depending on what state you are in every 2-3 years. Otherwise it will cost a minimal fee. And it sounds like it would be worth it. Do the courts know that he has another child to pay for? You two must get to the courts and get this stuff worked out, if for anything, your sanity. Get the visitation order and a new child support order.

Answer 2

If any of you were good parents then the children would come first. If you are not married to the father then you have no rights to that child. If he wants to see his son then he would have you live in your own house. If you leave then he can see his son, you can be a good girl friend and let him be a good father and be with his son.
If he has legal papers giving him visitation then he must see the boy on those day. It's sad he has to visit his dad and not live with his parents.

So you have a child with him too? That is just really great! The boy came first and it does not matter where they live or what car she drives. the child needs support from the father and should get everything he can from his dad. the money is not for her it's for the boy. If she drives a good car better for the boy it's safer and more reliable. You aren't worried about the boy and the father you are worried about you and your kid. You entered in this with knowledge that he had a son and that should of came first and for most. Another child should of not been made if you have such a problem with the other child.

Answer 3

I hope you're not still having sex with him and if you are that you are being careful. more likely than not he thinks you were trying to trap him or trick him back into marriage with the last pregnancy and he's resentful of the child since he didn't want you to have her. Now he knows he can get under your skin by denying the child, so he does it as a way to punish you for having her. personally with that attitude, I wouldn't want him any where near her. there's no telling how he'd mistreat her when you weren't around. Take care of yourself. It really does sound like you'll be better off without him. I'm sorry for any pain you're feeling about the dissolution of your marriage. Take the attitude that this is for the best and there is something better waiting for you once your finished with him.

Answer 4

He needs to get an attorney. He needs to have visitation spelled out in court documents. Then she can't keep the child from visiting just because she doesn't like you. And once all that is in documented court papers I would stop paying her anything extra that is not required by the court, unless he really feels there is a real need that is not being met for his child. She sounds like she is abusing the system and using your husband.

Answer 5

This childs mother is dealing with a bout of selfishness that is damaging this youngster. This child needs a father like you need air to breathe and water to hydrate. Dad must take the initiative here and head down to the self help center at the court house, request a mediation appointment with a court ordered mediator and get some specific parenting time. Children should never be forced to grow up without a dad because mom is punitive toward him. Start by purchasing the mother a book and sending it to her anonymous. The book is called Broken Families Broken Homes by Rick Douglass published by authorhouse. Book ID is 46755

Answer 6

there is a deeper meaning to this situation either something your not willing to reveal or something she knows and you dont either way the only answer is for him to take the "power out of her hands " and take her through the court system and force a judge to decide an exact money agreement on child support and visitation out of court agreements do nothing but cause strife and pain for the child because the adults are being way to selfish fighting amongst themselves to really see that how they think they are helping the child is only damaging the child its a no brainer .....

the 1 favour you need to do for yourself is step back and let him deal with it and also who ever is using the "jealousy" card to quit it and remember they're adults not high school lovers not all decisions are out of jealousy even if you think they are .....

I am a mother of 5 of her own with a step mother who managed to chase his 17 , 15 and 12 year old sons out of the family home and not allow visitation over alleged jealousy and only keeping visitation with our 9 year old daughter cause she's a girl the step mother is also a drug user and child (emotional) abuser how do I know this? she was married to my brother and raised my niece for 10 years my niece is an emotional wreck and I have 2 step kids who have different mothers and have step fathers in my step kids lives because we work well with my step daughter's mother and step father she is a happy well adjusted young lady of 16 we try to work in with my 13 year olds mother but she is like your mans ex power hungry ways.....

Answer 7

When child support was set by the court, there should ALSO have been orders specifying visitation privileges.

If not, he can file for visitation, and he should .

If he's decreed specific visitation and she's denied it, he can take her to court for violating the court decree.

You have to go by what the court decreed.

If he gives support of his own free will and not by a court order, then he can take her to court for visitation and he can prove he's been responsible enough to pay support though not decreed by the court.

Answer 8

Okay... My ex hubby has a crazy new wife, so I can kinda understand you here. First of all you might be trying to hard to be nice and coming off as a bit@@. If that is not the case, then your BF needs to get a lawyer and file for visation ASAP. The judge can order her to let him see his child and she will go to jail for not following the judges order. Call your local court house and ask for the family divison. You will have to say that he is your hubby to get any info but what's one small white lie.

Answer 9

Your husband needs to get a lawyer and take her to court for visitation. Also he needs to document every time she won't let him see the child, this shows he is trying and she is the one messing up the kid.

Answer 10

If support is paid or not visitation can NOT be withheld. I called the cops and went and got my kids. The cops can't make her do this but they may convince her to. Get a copy of the report(s) for court.

Then it's back to court, enough of this crap and your husband could get custody - I hope he does.