My Husband Is having an affair, How do you get passed the pain.?

Question

I can't help but feeling crushed. He walked out on the kids and I 3 days after we got back frm Disney Wrld. While there he not only used 2 cell phones to communicate with his soon to be live in whore. He begged me for sex the entire week. He lied and treated me like %&^% for 6 mos prior. He lied about his job and took permenent placement 2 states away. Oh and all this after convincing his Nan, mom and disabled brother to move here in Pa frm Ca. So he could be a help to them. He not only dated, had sex and carried on his lies and affair for mos before I found out, he Shacked up with her immediately after leaving our home that very day. And, to top it off the way he told me was through our son. Yes, the &(&*&( coward called our son on his cell phone to tell him he was cheating on his mother. Nice. Oh, and she Jill Eich left her 3 young baby girls and stay at home husband clear across the country. A mom (excuse me the C*(&*(Nt does not deserve to be called a mom) left her 3 daughter

Answer 1

this is going to get some low ratings, but how could you not see this coming, has he been deceitful and distant from you from the start, is the communication so bad that you could not talk about what I am sure was some problems you 2 were having. It is completely his fault, but since you are here to read this, what can you learn from that and how can you avoid this men and situations in the future. REALLY REALLY sorry for you and your son

Answer 2

Sounds like my life I am reading here. Trust me the only thing that helps is TIME. Your feeling will bounce around they will go from being angry to being hurt, to denial,and start all over again. You will have the widest range of emotion you ever had. The best thing you can do for yourself is to remind yourself that it is his loss. He will regret it! He really will. Let God take care of him and he will. Stay close to friends and family. For at least 6 months, make no decisions without thinking on it for at least a day. Join a women's group, or some type of hobby group to keep you focused on yourself and your kids. Keep a journal. That way you can get your feelings out and away from your kids. I am so very sorry this happened to you! I know that you feel like the very breathe has been sucked out of you. He is rotten and low down, he is a disgrace. He is still the father of your children. That is the hard part. Showing that he is not the winner is key to this whole thing for you, stay focused on that! God Bless you! I will pray for you.

Answer 3

It sounds like you are past the pain and on to anger.

Now is the time to make a plan - get a divorce lawyer, don't use the kids as weapons against him (yes, they should still get to see him even though he is a cheating bastard) and talk to a counsellor. They can help you through some of the more aggravating stuff.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry this happened to you... it's a devastating experience for every woman.. trust me- I know how it feels. I thought I was going to go insane when it was happening to me. Read books on this topic... I bought two books when this was happening to me... one was/is titled How to Survive Infidelity and the other is ... gosh I can't remember- it was 7 years ago after all, ... I passed them both on to others... but there are many good books out there.
Don't forget: you are a woman, therefore you will survive this... it's very important for you to feel angry... in one of those books it said: only if you are capable of blaming the cheating spouse are you later on able to let go or forgive... because without that ability... you will blame yourself entirely instead... and you will think that whatever was done to you , you deserved.
Express your anger in every way possible... it's important for your healing.

Answer 5

I am so sorry this happened to you. It is awful when someone you loved cheats on you. It will take some time to get pass the pain but you will make it.

Please find a good therapist and attorney.You have your children to live for now - not this joker.

Answer 6

It is never easy to move on from the hurt he inflicted on you and your children, but you have to do the one thing he didn't,and that's think about your children and how you will move on from here. You have to be strong for your children. They need you right now. It's like they say, what does not kill you will only make you stronger. As for him, he will eventually get what is coming to him.

Answer 7

You need to take some deep beathes. He's gone and he's no good for you. He has hurt you very deeply. It's going to take some time to heal. Think about your kids. Don't slander their father their father's female friend.

Remember that you can have a very full life without this man. He's nothing to mourn the loss of since he was no good to you. Take care of yourself and your children. Talk to friends and family. Realize the kids need you to be strong.

Answer 8

I cannot even imagine what you are going through. I actually feel your pain. Here's my advice: he sounds like he has the same disorder my ex has. Its called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I'm begging you to read Sam Vak's website, the FAQ's. Read everything on that site. I think it will open your eyes. It kicked me in the gut. Read up also on passive aggressive behavior.

A person who does what he did, has no soul. It had nothing to do with you - its all about him. Maybe try to be glad you're rid of the vapid ghoul. Please read Sam Vak's site.

Answer 9

Grief is a process. Counseling will help you and your children. Talking about it seems to help. Other than that forgiving and moving on. Divorce and get everything you can. Oh and don't let him blame it on you, because he might try.

Answer 10

what a horrible situation for you! I hope that you can see that you don't need him, and you can find someone better...hopefully you move on with your life after all this is sorted out.....please divorce as soon as possible...don't take him back....for any reason....you do not deserve to be treated like that...no one does!