i volunteered at an old age home today....?

Question

Older people are generally nice, but some didn't have great manners. I know that many people think that old people at some point start becoming like when they were little kids(need more help,etc), but arent things like manners learned when people are young and then not forgotten?? i walk with a limp from Spina Bifida and they were all staring at me in disgust. And also, when i sat down at the dinner area, i saw many whispering about me to each other and the ones who were hard of hearing were yelling to each other "whats with these school kids, they cant help us, why do they volunteer?". why dont these people realize what they are doing? they should know how to act towards other people, especially people like me trying to help. its like they learn manners as children and use it when they are adults, and then it all goes out the window when they get old. im 17 by the way.

my blog: http://www.brightideasofateenager.blogspot.com

Answer 1

Thank you for caring enough to try to help.

Generally the people who end up in old age homes are the ones who can not take care of themselves. They meet that criteria either because their minds have slipped enough that they can no longer make good decisions, or they are physically challenged enough that they can not do those daily things they need to stay well, without help. Either way, they should not have been saying those things about you.

But rude people are rude people.

Chances are these people who were whispering about you were always those to find fault and to make snap judgements. It isn't something they have LEARNED in old age. They have just lost the ability to dissemble about it!

Learn to ignore the nastiness, and to meet each new person with a big smile. Look beyond the surface, and EXPECT them to treat you well. Chances are that even they will get the hint, and start treating you better. Kindness can and will be repayed with kindness.

Stick with it. Give yourself a month to learn the ropes and get to know the people. If at the end of that time, they are still being as nasty to you as before and you don't feel like you are being appreciated, then quit volunteering there and get yourself a volunteer position at a place that CAN appreciate the unique and beautiful girl you are.

It is too bad that even a small minority of other 17 year olds can't follow in your footsteps and volunteer in places where their presence is needed. You are a shining example of what COULD BE for your generation.

Answer 2

First of all let me say that you are doing a wonderful thing and I truly do hope you stick with it. I am 55 and I have worked with these people since 1971 when I graduated from practical nursing. These people are lonely and many have been mistreated by the very people that were there to protect and care for them. They have an obvious lack of trust for good reason sometimes.
They will warm up to you with every passing visit, just be patient and give it time. Smile a lot and mean it. Show them you care and that is why you are there. Dont forget ever that they have disabilities also and are trying hard each day to live with them. Be nice to them even if they are not always nice to you. They will soon love you as you will them.

Good Luck you are an inspiration.

Answer 3

I commend you on volunteering for the elderly. My mom is in a nursing home. The older people who aren't well in one way or another, get like that. There will be more things you will notice about old folks in nursing homes as time passes.

Don't expect any ting and you won't be disappointed.

Just have fun with them. Tell them how nice they look. Smile and give hugs. They are starved for special attention. Take them away from the inside where they always are. Even if it's just a wheelchair ride around the grounds. Bring in old music by Frank Sinatra, Glenn Miller, the Andrew Sisters. They love it. I've even seen them dance in their chairs!

Being polite is not always a natural thing to do even if you were taught it very young. Some elderly people just live minute to minute and forget the small stuff. Please don't take it personally. If they talk about your limp and you hear them, smile and explain it. Maybe they can relate their problem to you. Hang in there. You are more appreciated than you expected to be.

Answer 4

I can see where your coming from.
I work at a hospital and see older people all the time.
I can see some people beeing this way but just as we cant label all guys pigs and all girls prissy we cant label all old people rude.

I have seen the rude ones but I have also met the extremly nice ones. the ones who love to yap your ear off cause it seems they have had no social contact for ages..

the ones who smile at you and adore your youth and seem to imagine a time before when they were as young as us.

The ones with a crazy careless since of humor that can tell jokes to make even the craziest person blush.

what im trying to say is im sorry that you had a bad experience with some of the elders in which you were volunteering your time but believe me there are elderly people there that would love to talk to you and just see you.

Dont give up your good work and help. This is awesome work that alot of people never even think about doing.

I promise you if you go back you will be able to make someones day. You will bring a smile maybe even a toothless smile to someones face and the feeling you will recieve from that moment will be priceless!!!

Good Job!

Answer 5

First, thank you for voluneering. It is a noble thing to do.
Don't be too hard on the elderly. Often they are suffering various degrees of dimentia which leaves the confused and angry. Some have been badly neglected by their families or have other issues that cause them to lash out at others like toothless tigers.

My Grandfather was in an old aged home in Up State NY. One of his sons was extremely wealthy and placed him in this rather exclusive and comfortable place when he could no longer function on his own. He was in his late eighties and he really liked it there.

Every weekend some of our family would make the trip up to visit him. There was never a single weekend when he did not receive visitors. Now this was an expensive place and everyone there was of some means.

Yet, there were these old women, perhaps a dozen or so who would get all dressed up in their finest dresses and would sit in the lobby with various presents awaiting visitors who never came. Every week they went through the same routine and sit for hours and then the staff would have to bring them back to their rooms sobbing with grief.

To be old and forgotten is a terrible thing. That is why you are so important. They may be difficult to get to know but please make an effort to get to know them. When they open up to you you may understand them much better.

Bless you!
You are an angel.

.

Answer 6

Well, first let me commend you for volunteering at a nursing home.

Just because they are old doesn't mean they are nice little old ladies and gentlemen. Many people never learn how to treat others with respect. These old people were probably
ignorant and stinkers when they were younger and have just continued with their bad manners.

But, just realize that there are probably many of the old folks at that nursing home are very sweet and nice and appreciate
your coming in to volunteer and would love to talk with a young person such as yourself and you would really make their day as they probably are lonely.

Answer 7

There are those that at a certain age,Alzheimer's, etc. do forget manners and can even become mean. Are maybe some just feel angry for being placed in a nursing home in the firs place. Don't take them too serious,you know sometimes elderly (like you said) are like little kids, so maybe explaining your health issues to them would have made a difference. it's sad to think about, but many of us as we age regress to the likes of a child, but that is part of life. If you volunteer at a nursing home again, talk to them even if it means treating them like a child.

Answer 8

Many people who have had a stroke suffer a personality change and they often become "rude". They lose their learned and natural inhibitions about blurting out things or doing things "inappropriate" - such as eating with their hands, saying rude things to people.

My mother had dementia and when I took her to ER and the doctor came in to see her she said "you're that idiot who killed my husband", she slapped the nurse who was doing her heart monitor and she called the doctor who had done her lumpectomy, (a kind, beautiful gentle woman, she is my surgeon too) a "mean *****".

I spent all day apologized for her, the nurse she slapped said "well you are a nasty old bird arent you, slap me again and I will slap you back" She apparently understood that because she stopped acting up.

She asked a friend of my son's "You're awfully dark skinned arent you? What are you?" It was really hard to be around her.

And some people have always been rude and nasty, Lord knows we see enough rude and nasty young people here and they will grow up to be ignorant, mean, nasty rude seniors too I imagine, unless something happens to put them in the place of the people they insult all the time.

You did a good thing, dont let the nasty ones get you down.

Answer 9

It's great that you were there! Working with anyone who needs help is not a cake walk, and you're brave and considerate for doing it!
Older people harbor a lot of anxiety also. They've raised families, and had full lives until recently. Many just do not like being dependent on anybody.
You'll gain their trust in time. For some, it'll take a long time.
Just be proud of yourself for caring. Be respectful, and honest, and have help nearby. Know your responsibility and your roll as a volunteer. Just for your sake, so you won't think you have to do everything.
Sometimes, you really just have to be a duck and let things slide off your back, you know?
The hardest part of taking care of people is to not "bring work home with you".

Answer 10

There is no reason for you to think that just because someone is older they are nice. These people were probably rude butt holes when they were young. Stay away from the ones who are unkind and befriend the ones that want you. Most likely if I were stuck in an old age home I would not want young people that I don't know visiting me either. I would rather it be someone my own age or at least close to it.
It is nice of you to volunteer though.