Have you ever dealt with someone that only wants to talk about them self and when you try to start talking (because you are in a conversation) they all of a sudden need to get going????? What the hell is all of that about why do some people do that? I listen to them ***** and moan all the time (trying to be a good friend) and then when it is my turn to give some feed back, I feel as if I'am being patronized and then all of a sudden cut off in the middle!! It is so flippin frustrating!!!! I never get to say anything unless it is in response to her dilemma. The conversation is over the phone and we are states away from each other (I moved 2 yrs.ago) and have been friends for a very long time. Any suggestions are appreciated.
2007-08-14 15:45:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I had the same problem with a relative. What I did was reverse the behavior and I cut her short in the same way she did me. It takes courage. But, it worked. Now, when she calls, she either BEGINS with a civilized greeting such as, "Hi!. How are you?" or "What have you been up to?", or I let her speak about herself for about fifteen seconds and then abruptly say, "It's GREAT to hear from you. But, I'm walking out the door. Looking forward to hearing from you soon." Click.
2007-08-14 16:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, try not to fall asleep and start snoring when this friend is talking on for hours. OK. Kidding aside, I have a friend who has this problem to some extent, and it irritates me that at times she doesn't seem to have a clue about what's going on in my life. Still, she is my dearest friend and lives on the other coast of the US. I wouldn't trade her for any other friends. When I need for her to listen - or just not to jump to conclusions too quickly - I make the phone call myself and tell her that I really want to tell her about something and ask for her opinion. Granted, it's not very often, because I am not someone who loves to be on the phone, while she is. Another problem is that I am married and both a mother and a grandmother, and she never was married, so sometimes she just doesn't get it about my life. I wish she found a good man, and perhaps she will some day, but so far it has not happened. If you never were married and never lived with another person in a committed relationship (gay or straight) for a long time, then you tend to become a bit rigid when you get older. You don't exactly understand why married people might spend so much time doing things for each other and not want to just get into a car and run off somewhere for a few hours.
I have another friend who acts more like your friend. She acts more and more like a user, so I rarely spend any time with her. She doesn't spend time yakking on the phone, but she rarely calls me unless she wants something.
2007-08-14 16:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this person doesn't want advice, just to be heard. its usually a personality trait, sometimes a life phase lasting a few years until the persom matures socially. Most of the time the person has to learn life lessons the hard way. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING listening to them (although it is hard im sure). When the time feels right and if they ask you "what do you think?" just reply "i could answer but you wouldn't listen anyway.." You'll just have to feel that one out.
2007-08-14 15:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, don't you just love those selfish snots?
I'm sorry but I have a relative like that. She is so full of SH*T it isn't funny. The world revolves around her...no matter how many HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS her parents have wasted on her miserable life according to her they don't give a damn about her and are useless...whine, whine, whine....and of course when it's your turn...oops it's not about me anymore gotta run. The worst part is when they pretend like they didn't even hear anything you said...they just put on that stupid blank look until it's their turn to open their mouth again.
Dink, you summed it up just right there buddy.
Wish it was that easy with relatives too.
Start doing that to THEM....that is when you get REAL satisfaction darling!
2007-08-14 15:55:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just selfish idiots who think of nothing but themselves. Your "friend" will always be this way. Nothing will ever change her. I'm 67 years old and have met multitudes of people like this. The best thing to do is just dump them, scrape them off like something stinky you get on the sole of your shoe. Your life will be better for it.
2007-08-14 15:54:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You called her the wrong when U said she is your friend.Your her B---- session coordinator.She talks and U listen till she's vented.Drop her u can have better conversations, with ur self than this selfish person. She dosen't care or she would ask ?'s at least.Move on U can do better.
2007-08-14 16:10:02 · answer #6 · answered by oatesmokid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's not a friend....that's a self-centered, insecure person, who only cares about themself. find a real friend who will take an interest in your life and want to share experiences and care about your life too!
2007-08-14 15:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by kihteacher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been there and to tell you the truth she no longer is my friend.
2007-08-14 15:52:52 · answer #8 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Comfront her. (or him).
Tell 'em your perspective, and that your mad at that... say that if he/she don't change their attitude... your friendship will crash eventually... and not becaus you want it that way, but because it is inevitable
2007-08-14 15:57:09 · answer #9 · answered by Star_ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't respect what you have to say, she doesn't respect YOU. Find companionship elsewhere.
2007-08-14 16:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by picador 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋