What do you think of this old, Chinese dragon-related poem I wrote?

Question

Soaring through the puffy clouds, twisting through the air,
Regulating precipitation is my designated care.
With five-clawed toes and a wingless snaky length
I am regal, Imperial: gifted with Dragon strength.
The atmosphere is my open, continuous lair.

Imperial China is great, vast, monumental:
The Emperor expects me to be sentimental.
“Uphold the divine honor of the dynasty in power!
Exult in its glory; guard it like a precious flower.”
I mustn’t ignore His Highness when he gets temperamental.

Insurrection erupts on a far-flung plateau,
A few rebellious elements disrupting the flow.
Yet these are mortal concerns; I make rain for the crops.
Frankly, I don’t give a damn about ideological props.
The peasant families need nourishing harvests to sow.

The Emperor summons me to the Forbidden City, in Peking . . .

(Continued and completed here: http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/libr/p/j/pjdoyle/chinese_dragons_dilemma.htm.html )

Answer 1

that's awesome!! i'm going to steal a line from it and use it here, to show what i think of all the non-answerers:
"The rebels are cowards and will never show their faces"

i like it.


*sigh* you know, pauly, if you'd asked "OMG! did you see Paris' new nail polish?" you'd have gotten 150answers, and 100 would have starred it as interesting.

Answer 2

in case you have been to jot down a determination of poems that each and every person tell a tale, have it printed... i could definately purchase it from the shelf of a e book shop & or while you're having a e book signing i could choose an autographed reproduction of it too! Your tale poem is superbly written & so some distance as that is length is going human beings ought to take a seem on the dimensions of lots of the main in call for poets for the time of background. there are various categories of prose & verse in poetry. lots of my favorites are those that tell a tale. There should not be any obstacles positioned upon the dimensions of any poem. a brilliant poem will end while that is finished. And the poet will understand while it feels top!

Answer 3

You've done a fantastic job with this. You've missed a beat here and there, but nothing you couldn't easily fix. For example, "the emperor expects me to be sentimental" might have flowed better as "the emperor expects me to be more sentimental"...try it and see how it rolls of your tongue. There are only a few other places like this in your otherwise exquisite poem. Very well thought out, very well done.

congrats...keep writing

Answer 4

So DRAGON second to say job well done

Answer 5

I think I said this before, you have skills...Are you famous?-LOL,Rogue

Answer 6

Ooooh....deep.

Now my brain hurts.....thanks!