Mom and dads, what was the worst advice people gave you during pregnancy?

Question

My wife and I are expecting our first in November and everyone is giving us really opinionated advice, some of it is obviously bad advice and everyone says something different. A lot of it sounds like old wives tales and some of the people have problems with their kids, but they still say it's the only way to go.

I'm asking for myself and because I'm writing a blog http://blog.almostadad.com for expectant fathers on what to expect during pregnancy and how to care for pregnant women. Your feedback will help other expectant dads, too!

Thanks!

Answer 1

oh man. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and get asked all kinds of annoying questions and advised by many people who aren't even parents. A few of the questions I get that I cant stand are

1. Do you have morning sickness?? this irritates me because its usually asked by pregnant women or women who have had kids, and they ask it in a way that says hopefully you have it cause I had to suffer through it, or its asked by never been pregnant women in a I hope you have it cause I'm jealous that your pregnant way. It really irks everyone when I tell them I ha vent had it once ( and I'm not even lying)

2. do you know what your having(boy or girl) I know this is a common pregnancy question but OK, I know what the sonogramer TOLD me I was having, and I know what I think I saw, but its NEVER 100% sure. besides, if I wanted you to know, I would have told you by now. (its a girl!!)

3. I REALLY REALLY hate 'what are you gonna name the baby?' for many reasons, one is that I havent a clue. its the hardest decision Ive had to make in a long tome. the other reason is that WHEN i do pick out a name im telling very few people or even no one. only because ive known people who have had their hearts set on a name and after telling people what it was, changed their mind by the regection it got. when I pick out a name, im keeping it


ok enough with that part. the dads need to understand that pregnant women are crazy (though they must never actually call them crazy, at least not to their face) every women, even every time she is pregnant, is different. just because she was as sweet as pie with the 1st baby doesnt mean shes not gonna be pyshco chick with the 2nd!!

Answer 2

Hi, well I'm a mother and wife with three kiddos and I think that the biggest advice you can ever give expectant parents is to take a lot of advice with a grain of salt..with my first I was scared so I wanted EVERYONE's opinion..I soon realized this wasn't working I was getting to stressed out. So when I really really needed a advice I chose a few family members as people I trusted to always ask or I would ask my pediatrician..they usually give you a real good medical unbiased thought about raising kids..but again nothing is set in stone..you may not always like to here opinions from the same person too...Also a trend I'm starting to see among child bearing woman is to opt out of the pain process of labor..I think I read somewhere that like 1 in 3 woman choose an epidural. I think it is out of fear that it is the worst pain you've ever fealt..and take it from me it's bad but I really was glad I did all natural three times...never had any problems all my children came out healthy not sleepy..so if your wife has doubts from what friends tell her just comfort her. I would not recommend a epidural at all...she will have back problems for the rest of her life. And also try to encourage her to breastfeed for longer than a year really get her excited that she will be feeding your child nourishing him/her.good luck and congrats.

Answer 3

Uhg, I could write a book on that...
I think one of the things I hated most was people telling me what to and not to eat...and how much.
The worst thing though, is my mother in law. She had only one kid, has never really been around other pregnant women or babies, and thinks her friend, who has had no kids but worked as a pediatric nurse, is the end all source of everything. She told me her labor story, what i'd feel what would happen (which was all wrong) and kept bragging that she didnt take any pain meds (which she did)
She also tried to make me feel like I should be a little miss Suzy homemaker...I had a horrible pregnancy riddled with morning sickness until half through the last trimester, premature labor, alot of stress...and she wanted me to be at home looking pretty in a sparkling house with a roast on the table, giving everything to the bread winner and not getting anything for myself.
One thing she NAGGED me about was staying upright after I ate, because I ha terrible morning sickness...but it made me miserabley uncomfortable and more likely to throw up if anything.
Another thing was everyone telling my to take the drugs...I wanted a drug free labor, but ended up so -annoyed- at everyone I took them and ended up stopping my labor (after having gone from three centimeters to 8 in an hour) and causing me to have a c-secion. I wasnt happy.
"Listen to your doctor". This was the worst. My doctor was a jerk, and a moron. He's still convinced that babies cannot hear from inside the womb!

Its wonderful that you are doing this...one of my biggest problems was my husband not really getting involved in the pregnancy, your wife is really lucky.

Answer 4

People used to tell more to eat i hate that advise.

Answer 5

When I was pregnant I left my daughters father, which was for the best. we get along famously now , which is funny because in the beginning all we did was fight over visitation and child support. Anyways... after i left him and before I gave birth he was dating this one girl and he , in all seriousness actually tried to tell me that based on her experience that I'll know I'm going into labor because I'll have to pee alot.. well with that said I told him, well i've been labor all 9 months because all I do is pee! .. She was a complete moron and had no children of her own or experience with babies. Needless to say I never took her seriously at all.. ever..

Mom of two.
Elyse born Nov 18, 2002
Sophie born June 25, 2006

Answer 6

I even have some techniques: a million. based on your previous questions, you need to provide up the medicine. I understand that is going to be puzzling, yet they're going to do injury on your infant. that is puzzling sufficient being a teenager mom, you do no longer want that stuff making it worse. 2. i could recommend you are not getting an abortion. I understand which you think of being 10 months pregnant then giving it up is a waste, yet you're infant merits of venture to stay too. that is for the superb; you're actually unable to deal with having yet another infant. i understand which could sound harsh, even nonetheless that's the certainty. you're in basic terms a infant nevertheless your self, and you're doing the superb you are able to, yet i does no longer save the newborn, rather placed it up for adoption. I say adoption rather of abortion because of fact i've got general countless people who've gotten abortions, even if the clarification, and that they finally end up some distance worse than they concept that they had be in the event that they saved the newborn alive. Abortion hurts the mummy too. 3. do no longer make your dad and mom mad; I understand which you think of they're being mean, my older sister went by this comparable element. I actually recommend which you heed their advice; they're older and wiser, they understand what they're conversing approximately. they're on your ingredient, and that they choose that should assist you. while the two one in each and every of you're thoroughly calm, have a verbal substitute with them and enable your themes out. enable them to understand which you do no longer choose issues to get heated and destructive, in basic terms choose to work out in case you are able to compromise. 4. Get help. in case you have helps already (which you stated you probably did) get extra. you are going to need somebody, whose a expert, which you will refer to. detect a therapist or psychiatrist and refer to them. they actually do help. I want you the superb of success!!

Answer 7

The only bad thing I've heard is that you should always get an epidural. I react badly to pain meds so I'm opting out and everyone is telling me that I will regret it. If it saves me and my baby, no I won't. So glad to see men take an interest in their significants pregnancy.

Answer 8

I got two really bad pieces of advice. First, my husband's friend, Betty, didn't understand why I was worried that I'd smoked a pack a day before I found out I was pregnant. She said, "I did cocaine with my kids and they're all okay!" (My husband used to be...uh, a stoner. I never was, honest!) Betty actually tried to get me to drink some wine coolers with her to "calm down."

Second, *EVERYONE* told me to stock up on bottles and formula because I probably wouldn't be able to breastfeed.

Answer 9

Oh that is awesome.. a father wanting to care for his pregnant wife... wish my husband thought of things like that. Ummm.. worst advice. Take it easy... yeah right... it is hard for a woman to take it easy especially when she has other children running around the house already or if you are like me you go to work and take your kids with you and watch them their as you work. Yeah thats a tuffy. Good Luck writing your blog.

Answer 10

We are expecting our first in October, and everyone keeps telling us to get rid of our cats...and that I won't want to breastfeed that I will switch to a bottle...and that I WILL take an epidural blah blah blah....everyone apparently knows me better than I know myself....and its OH SO ANNOYING.

Then there is my grandmother, who in addition to saying all of the things I already mentioned, makes me feel like crap by saying things like, IF YOU GO HAVE PICTURES MADE WHILE YOU'RE PREGNANT, TO SHOW OFF YOUR BELLY, CHLOE WILL HATE YOU WHEN SHE GETS OLDER. Like thats really appropriate....when my husband and I both want to have those pictures done! UGH!